You Get What You See
May 4th, 2010 | 
Author: A friend of mine is a rather controversial character. Many people spread gossip and talk about the things that she’s done that are less than complimentary to her.
Last evening, my husband commented that the buzz he hears from others about this person is completely different than what he hears from me. My stories about her are positive. Because that is what I choose to “see” and to focus on in her.
I am not Polyanna. I know that my friend has failings (as we all do). I just choose not to put too much attention on those things that are negative in her.
And I believe that a focus on what is good about my friend brings out the best in her. She can see herself through the mirror I hold up and know that she isn’t “bad”. She will try harder to do the right things by seeing herself in that mirror.
When my friend and I are together, she speaks of the things she’s trying to improve about herself. All the while, I see her in a positive light.
She is, at her core, a good person trying hard to do her best. Her failures are human mistakes of the kind we all make. We must learn to forgive the human mistakes in good people and to help them to see their best.
What are you looking for in the people you lead?
If you are looking for what they are doing wrong, they will fail.
If you are looking for what they are doing right, they will grow and succeed.
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I love this, Mary Jo. Your friend is truly blessed by your willingness to see the best in her, your loyalty, and your ability to accept her for who she is. This is an inspiring post and an important lesson for leaders who want to bring out the best in others.
In a world where “continuous improvement” seems to be so important I think we lose sight that everyone is flawed and recognising and working with those flaws rather than trying to eliminate them adds something special. Like you Mary Jo I am blessed with friends who are precious to me as they are…the blessing your friend has is that you are both willing and able to support her in her own self awareness.
No other words than simply True and Powerful thought.
Don’t give up and keep improving and see people changing their stance about you.
This is a great example of how expecting the best from someone (the best they have to offer) truly changes what they are capable of! Your friendship is surely a motor for change and transformation. Great expectations when offered from a place of acceptance and appreciation are a powerful thing. And I bet focusing on that part of her also makes YOU better! Thanks for sharing this great otheresteem story.
Not only do you get what you see, but what you focus on expands.