A post, “Don’t Get Caught Naked“, solicited a comment from a reader expressing disbelief at how blind some of them can be about their faults. (“I just don’t understand how some leaders can be so blind!”).

There are plenty of reasons for this, one of which is that they don’t ask for feedback in the first place. Here are some reasons why this is hard:

• It takes a lot of courage: it takes a great deal of courage to ask for feedback. Some of the most courageous leaders in other areas of their work are unwilling to ask “how am I doing?” because they fear the answers. However, if they don’t ask in this way, they will eventually get feedback in other, less pleasant, ways.
• Listening to, and reflecting on, the feedback they’ve received doesn’t come naturally: Without a doubt, it is hard to listen to negative feedback about ourselves. Even when the feedback is overwhelming on the side of reporting our strengths, we tend to focus on, and get parlyzed by, the negative comments. And we shut down, becoming defensive or worse. The chances of our asking again are nil.
• They don’t know what to do with feedback they receive: This is not an uncommon dilemma. Once it is received – so what? As a recipient of 360 degree feedback that was literally dropped on my desk (“here, read this”), I can attest to the importance of human support to interpret and design action around the results.

All of the above can be remedied by getting support and designing a plan with a friend, peer, manager or coach. Most leaders are well meaning, desire to improve themselves and really want feedback that they can take action on. It’s the ones who really don’t care about getting feedback that concern me the most!

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