This is my last day at the Writer’s Spa in Taos, and although I’ve learned a lot from the workshops and fellow retreatants, I’ve learned a lot about myself (which is just perfect).

I came here thinking it would provide me with the tools and time needed to buzz through the first draft of my book (thinking that it was mostly written already, based on the “body of work” I’ve put together through several years of writing a newsletter and half a year of writing a column for Business Review).

It was tough to realize that the overly ambitious expectations I set for myself stopped me cold from any progress at all on the book (sometimes called “writer’s block”). With some excellent coaching from one of the facilitators, Jennifer Louden (The “Comfort Queen“), I decided to let go, not push it. Discomfort turned to anger, tears, beating myself up and finally surrender.

Its been a productive week. Even though I haven’t done any work on the book, I did finish a column (which I’m quite pleased with) and started on an article for a national magazine. And then I treated myself with some hand made jewelery from a nearby gallery.

The lesson for intentional leaders: our culture, our families, our organizations encourage us to set the bar high. This is a wonderful thing. But the height of the bar must be calibrated against our ability to achieve it and to take care of ourselves, make sure our needs for achieving well and on time are met.