Copyright 2008 Business Review West Michigan by
Mary Jo Asmus

Many of my clients are terrible listeners. However, very few of them know or believe this when we begin working together.

Generally, the poor listening skills I see in one-on-one meetings with my executive clients is played out in the workplace, and it can have significant consequences. Poor listening can be a career killer for a leader.

A few days ago, I took a call from a mid-level leader in a large company who was interviewing me to be her executive coach. In a half-hour interview, she talked for 25 minutes and I talked for about five. I typically do a lot of listening in my work, so I don’t usually mind not talking.

However, in this case she was supposed to be interviewing me. Also, she would ask a question and then cut me off by talking over me.

Based on that one experience, I can predict that others will also have observed that she doesn’t listen well. Her employees and manager are frustrated about it and may even have told her about it, but she didn’t listen.

If so, this is probably creating all kinds of problems for her. She isn’t hearing important information she needs to make the best decisions, develop the best relationships and lead others in a way that makes them feel engaged and motivated.

Like many leaders, she may feel she needs to have all the answers and is quick to let everyone know about the vast amount of knowledge she has.

She has the opportunity to be an incredible leader if she can change this one bad habit.

If she chooses to work with me, and if I’m right about her poor listening skills in the workplace, I may prescribe regular “shut up and listen” meetings for her — meetings where she will consciously and deliberately practice listening skills.

If you suspect that you are a poor listener

?€¢ Request feedback from others and/or hire an executive coach who can collect feedback for you. If you are highly self-aware, you may be able to observe your own listening skills.

?€¢ If you discover that you are a poor listener, take action now to correct it. It may derail you later if you don’t.

?€¢ Be intentional about shut-up-and-listen meetings where you do just that. These could be one-on-one meetings or larger meetings which you lead or participate in.

?€¢ Jot down a few open-ended questions before or during upcoming meetings. Those questions will help you focus, listen without distraction and will keep the dialogue moving.

?€¢ Ask questions, but then shut up and listen.

If you are purposeful about listening for a few months, it will become a new, ingrained behavior. And the results with your boss, your team and others around you will be nothing short of amazing.