Thought-full Thursday: Unfolding
February 25th, 2010 | 
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“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force.
The people who listen to us are the ones we move toward.
When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”
Karl Menninger
Listening helps you and the people you listen to learn and develop. Listen; really listen to someone today.
- Ask them at the end, “What are you taking away from this conversation?” (Be prepared to be surprised).
Reflect on the experience of listening you had:
- What did you learn about the person you listened to? About yourself?
- How will you use what you learned?
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8 Responses to “Thought-full Thursday: Unfolding”
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Mary,
Great post! I took your advice and really took the time to listen to my conversation with one of my peer. At the end of the conversation, I’ve asked him what he took away from our conversation. Surprisingly he actually really did listen to my concern about a work related problem. I was quite impressed with his ability to listen. Maybe that’s why he is in charge of our QA department. Thanks for post. From now on, I need to practice more on my ability to listen.
Best Regards,
Jason
Jason, Thanks for sharing your great results, and best wishes with your practice!
Mary,
I really appreciate your post. I totally agree with you on the importance of listening. I have met many people in my lifetime; some have been great listeners while others have not. As you pointed out, those who listen tend to be the most magnetic. Those who have really listened to me have been very influential in my life. Once they have listened to me, I, in turn, listened to them. At the same time, those people who haven’t listened to me have driven me to not listen to them. I also try really hard to be a good listener.
Thanks,
Brandon
Brandon, I think your experiences with good and bad listeners are universal. You’ve provided great lessons for all leaders to sit up and take notice and to work at listening better. Thank you.
Great post Mary. I have always been self-conscious about listening. I have a younger sister, and she would continually harangue me about not listening to her while growing up. She once kept track for a week and discovered that I only really listened to what she said half the time; worse, it dropped to 25% if there was a TV or computer in front of me. I think all the pestering eventually made me a better listener, today. People definitely notice when you are really listening to them, and it makes for more meaningful conversations, whether social or work-related.
Scott
Mary,
I do have to say that listening is very difficult to do. I think that it is even harder not to hear what you want to hear. It is interesting to see that two people in the same conversation can take away completely different things. I have also seen people that routinely argue against each other when they are on the same side of an argument. I need to work on my listening skills especially on the phone. I find not having visual cues increases the difficulty tremendously.
Thanks for the post,
Ira
Mary,
It is funny you should blog about listening because the subject is so true! My deepest friends are the ones who listen to me when I talk and vice versa.
I have yet to purposefully listen to someone today; however, I always attempt to do so. I actually have a “problem” with my boss about listening. I will literally be asking a question or for insight and shortly after I am done talking I hear “Sorry honey, I wasn’t listening.” She usually follows the comment with laughter and then she will tell a story about how some former employee of hers would always call her out for doing the exact same thing.
Sometimes it can be frustrating but I usually say I have a question, and wait for a “go ahead dear.” I am not sure if I am learning to be a better listener because of it or if it is teaching me patience.
Scott, your sister was a wise young lady.
Ira, even if we listen well, we often listen through our filters of experience and beliefs. Re: listening on the phone – check out the earlier post in the series on distractions. It may help.
Kelsey, patience is not such a bad thing. Could your boss’ frustrating behavior be a reminder to you of the importance of good listening?