Comments on: The Art of Inquiry http://www.aspire-cs.com/the-art-of-inquiry Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:03:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Wally Bock http://www.aspire-cs.com/the-art-of-inquiry/comment-page-1#comment-308 Wally Bock Wed, 30 Sep 2009 21:16:04 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/new-site/the-art-of-inquiry#comment-308 Congratulations! This post was selected as one of the five best independent business blog posts of the week in my Three Star Leadership Midweek Review of the Business Blogs.<br /><br />http://blog.threestarleadership.com/2009/09/30/93009-midweek-look-at-the-independent-business-blogs.aspx<br /><br />Wally Bock Congratulations! This post was selected as one of the five best independent business blog posts of the week in my Three Star Leadership Midweek Review of the Business Blogs.

http://blog.threestarleadership.com/2009/09/30/93009-midweek-look-at-the-independent-business-blogs.aspx

Wally Bock

]]> By: Mary Jo Asmus, President, Aspire Collaborative Services LLC http://www.aspire-cs.com/the-art-of-inquiry/comment-page-1#comment-307 Mary Jo Asmus, President, Aspire Collaborative Services LLC Wed, 30 Sep 2009 10:10:52 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/new-site/the-art-of-inquiry#comment-307 Tanveer: I agree! The focus must be on the wants and needs of the other person for the Art of Inquiry to be genuine.<br /><br />Cirel: curiosity is a great tool. Thanks! Tanveer: I agree! The focus must be on the wants and needs of the other person for the Art of Inquiry to be genuine.

Cirel: curiosity is a great tool. Thanks!

]]> By: Cirel http://www.aspire-cs.com/the-art-of-inquiry/comment-page-1#comment-306 Cirel Wed, 30 Sep 2009 06:49:35 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/new-site/the-art-of-inquiry#comment-306 Great post, Mary Jo. I, for one, truly believe in the power of inquiry. I have found that the best way to establish authentic relationships is to be willing to listen to what the person has to say <i>and</i> to be more curious beyond what was said. Knowing the right questions to ask as well as the proper way to do it (in neutral tone without judgment, as mentioned in your post) will also bring down the person's guard and will ultimately feel more secure in answering your questions honestly. Carrying a conversation in this way truly is an art. Great post, Mary Jo. I, for one, truly believe in the power of inquiry. I have found that the best way to establish authentic relationships is to be willing to listen to what the person has to say and to be more curious beyond what was said. Knowing the right questions to ask as well as the proper way to do it (in neutral tone without judgment, as mentioned in your post) will also bring down the person's guard and will ultimately feel more secure in answering your questions honestly. Carrying a conversation in this way truly is an art.

]]> By: Tanveer Naseer http://www.aspire-cs.com/the-art-of-inquiry/comment-page-1#comment-305 Tanveer Naseer Tue, 29 Sep 2009 18:26:40 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/new-site/the-art-of-inquiry#comment-305 Mary Jo,<br /><br />I think you bring up some wonderful points here and I'm especially enjoying the conversation you have inspired with your piece.<br /><br />Through all the comments, and the ideas presented in your post, one concept stands out that I think many of us often overlook - in these engagements, in these interactions, it's not about us. Rather, it's about what others are seeking from us to help them with whatever challenges they are facing. <br /><br />If we become more cognizant of this fact, we'd realize that it really isn't a matter of how much we know, but how much we're able to really hear what others are telling us and what we can do to help them address the difficulties they clearly see us being able to aid them with.<br /><br />Again, this is a great conversation and I look forward to hearing what others have to share on it. Mary Jo,

I think you bring up some wonderful points here and I'm especially enjoying the conversation you have inspired with your piece.

Through all the comments, and the ideas presented in your post, one concept stands out that I think many of us often overlook – in these engagements, in these interactions, it's not about us. Rather, it's about what others are seeking from us to help them with whatever challenges they are facing.

If we become more cognizant of this fact, we'd realize that it really isn't a matter of how much we know, but how much we're able to really hear what others are telling us and what we can do to help them address the difficulties they clearly see us being able to aid them with.

Again, this is a great conversation and I look forward to hearing what others have to share on it.

]]> By: Mary Jo Asmus, President, Aspire Collaborative Services LLC http://www.aspire-cs.com/the-art-of-inquiry/comment-page-1#comment-304 Mary Jo Asmus, President, Aspire Collaborative Services LLC Tue, 29 Sep 2009 16:31:43 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/new-site/the-art-of-inquiry#comment-304 Paul,<br /><br />Great insight! This stuff has to be genuine - if you are asking questions to truly get input or to truly help others develop, it will work well for you. But if you are only pretending at what you call superficial involvement,trust will be broken. Behind the Art of Inquiry is a "way of being", not just a "way of doing".<br /><br />Your response brings up a conundrum. Asking questions and listening to the answers takes time. I tell my clients that they must be willing to accept the short term pain of the time required for the long term gain of an engaged workforce. This stuff really works, and as so often happens, there are no quick fixes. Paul,

Great insight! This stuff has to be genuine – if you are asking questions to truly get input or to truly help others develop, it will work well for you. But if you are only pretending at what you call superficial involvement,trust will be broken. Behind the Art of Inquiry is a "way of being", not just a "way of doing".

Your response brings up a conundrum. Asking questions and listening to the answers takes time. I tell my clients that they must be willing to accept the short term pain of the time required for the long term gain of an engaged workforce. This stuff really works, and as so often happens, there are no quick fixes.

]]> By: Paul McConaughy http://www.aspire-cs.com/the-art-of-inquiry/comment-page-1#comment-303 Paul McConaughy Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:28:01 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/new-site/the-art-of-inquiry#comment-303 You are right on with the statement "People can smell leading questions a mile away." What fascinates me is that even though we know that well we don't ever seem to stop trying to use them. Change happens so often and so quickly today that there are lots of opportunities to engage employees in decisions about direction and outcome. Too often though our engagement is superficial, with no intention of real involvement. That lack of transparency is so evident to employees and is so damaging to trust. We need to stop doing it. We would be better served by just telling people we are going to make the decision and we will try to make it the best we can for everyone but we don't feel we can invest the time or effort in gathering their opinions. They would at least believe we were being honest then. You are right on with the statement "People can smell leading questions a mile away." What fascinates me is that even though we know that well we don't ever seem to stop trying to use them. Change happens so often and so quickly today that there are lots of opportunities to engage employees in decisions about direction and outcome. Too often though our engagement is superficial, with no intention of real involvement. That lack of transparency is so evident to employees and is so damaging to trust. We need to stop doing it. We would be better served by just telling people we are going to make the decision and we will try to make it the best we can for everyone but we don't feel we can invest the time or effort in gathering their opinions. They would at least believe we were being honest then.

]]> By: Mary Jo Asmus, President, Aspire Collaborative Services LLC http://www.aspire-cs.com/the-art-of-inquiry/comment-page-1#comment-302 Mary Jo Asmus, President, Aspire Collaborative Services LLC Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:03:14 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/new-site/the-art-of-inquiry#comment-302 Jane, I think you've hit on a point here. It isn't just about the questions and how you ask them; inquiry is truly a way of being. It requires openness and a learning attitude. Oh, and the hard one - vulnerability.<br /><br />Wally, I love your stories. I can see that your background makes you a good coach. And your point about not falling into the "interrogation" trap is well taken. Managers who are most enthusiastic about the Art of Inquiry can do that. So they need to find a way to sprinkle a conversation with those great open-ended questions. Jane, I think you've hit on a point here. It isn't just about the questions and how you ask them; inquiry is truly a way of being. It requires openness and a learning attitude. Oh, and the hard one – vulnerability.

Wally, I love your stories. I can see that your background makes you a good coach. And your point about not falling into the "interrogation" trap is well taken. Managers who are most enthusiastic about the Art of Inquiry can do that. So they need to find a way to sprinkle a conversation with those great open-ended questions.

]]> By: Wally Bock http://www.aspire-cs.com/the-art-of-inquiry/comment-page-1#comment-301 Wally Bock Tue, 29 Sep 2009 13:52:35 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/new-site/the-art-of-inquiry#comment-301 Ah yes, the dinner party! My father was a pastor and we often hosted both dinner parties and receptions for members of the church. Before each one, my mother prepped my sister and me with the questions we might ask each guest. We were to ask questions that would encourage the guest to talk. There were two outcomes. First, I learned a ton about a lot of things because I asked the questions that got people immersed in them talking. Second, my sister and I both gained a reputation in the church as "excellent conversationalists." <br /><br />When I started training bosses, I found that those same lessons worked for them. If you show up a lot and ask conversational questions (ie don't conduct an interrogation) you will be rewarded with knowledge and a reputation as a boss who cares. Ah yes, the dinner party! My father was a pastor and we often hosted both dinner parties and receptions for members of the church. Before each one, my mother prepped my sister and me with the questions we might ask each guest. We were to ask questions that would encourage the guest to talk. There were two outcomes. First, I learned a ton about a lot of things because I asked the questions that got people immersed in them talking. Second, my sister and I both gained a reputation in the church as "excellent conversationalists."

When I started training bosses, I found that those same lessons worked for them. If you show up a lot and ask conversational questions (ie don't conduct an interrogation) you will be rewarded with knowledge and a reputation as a boss who cares.

]]> By: Jane http://www.aspire-cs.com/the-art-of-inquiry/comment-page-1#comment-300 Jane Tue, 29 Sep 2009 12:41:32 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/new-site/the-art-of-inquiry#comment-300 Mary Jo --<br /><br />Very insightful post, helpful to leaders and everyone (even those at dinner parties!). Breaking free from your own point of view is a crtical first step for real dialogue and exploration. All too often we fail to create the learning environment because we're stuck on the 'right answer' that's in our minds. Mary Jo –

Very insightful post, helpful to leaders and everyone (even those at dinner parties!). Breaking free from your own point of view is a crtical first step for real dialogue and exploration. All too often we fail to create the learning environment because we're stuck on the 'right answer' that's in our minds.

]]> By: Mary Jo Asmus, President, Aspire Collaborative Services LLC http://www.aspire-cs.com/the-art-of-inquiry/comment-page-1#comment-299 Mary Jo Asmus, President, Aspire Collaborative Services LLC Tue, 29 Sep 2009 11:50:50 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/new-site/the-art-of-inquiry#comment-299 Steve, is that your code name? I like it but its hard to pronounce!<br /><br />Jennifer, if you are the manager, use the questioning technique to help employees to feel a part of the solutions or to have their concerns aired. If you are one of the employees, you should find a way to speak up to the manager and address your concerns. "Difficult Conversations" or "Be Quiet, Be Heard" (my personal favorite) are good books to provide some foundations for having that conversation. Steve, is that your code name? I like it but its hard to pronounce!

Jennifer, if you are the manager, use the questioning technique to help employees to feel a part of the solutions or to have their concerns aired. If you are one of the employees, you should find a way to speak up to the manager and address your concerns. "Difficult Conversations" or "Be Quiet, Be Heard" (my personal favorite) are good books to provide some foundations for having that conversation.

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