Our culture tends to exaggerate leadership by imagining that it’s performed by larger than life heroes who ride in to our organizations save the day. Sure, leaders may perform the occasional miracle, but for most of you, most of the time, leadership is accomplished by doing a lot of little “ings” thoughtfully and consistently over time.
These “ings” are simple in concept but hard to do, like a lot of things in life. They are the “ings” that show your character and make others want to follow you. They are the “ings” that make us human. They are the “ings” that make coming to work every day meaningful for the people who support you.
So here are my thoughts on some of the small “ings” that will make a big difference in your ability to lead others well. Note which ones you need to focus on. Then create an action plan to increase your use of them:
Thanking people around you who did a good job. Let them know about the difference they make in your workplace.
Asking great questions that help others to think and grow. Using more inquiry will also help you to learn more about those around you, something that will improve and build relationships.
Listening with all of your attention when it is needed by others. More listening is needed in our organizations; model it for others and watch relationships grow..
Celebrating successes. It is much too rare that we stop to enjoy what has gone well. The effort put into celebration will reinforce the right actions in the future.
Inviting others to participate in decisions. The results of your collective efforts will be better, and people will feel like they are impacting the organization too.
Understanding when things don’t always go as they should. Human error happens. Listen and understand what went wrong, and help your team to prevent it from happening again.
Conversing in an open way that allows all options and possibilities to unfold. Creativity and innovation depend on it!
Coaching to bring out the best in people. You’ll help them to release the potential they don’t yet know they have.
Developing yourself and others to create a continuous learning culture. Supporting growth and development will positively affect the goals your organization is attempting to achieve.
Reflecting alone and with others to think about and assure that things are on an upward spiral. Block out some time to assure that this activity is part of your daily routine.
What other little “ings” help you to lead better?
Persevering — continuing to do what’s right even in difficult circumstances.
You bet, Becky! Persevering is one of those small, simple sounding things that can be very difficult to do. Thanks for the addition.
Giving. When a leader gives him or herself to all employees in very helpful ways a new sense of transparency and trust develops. Giving also produces a lot of serotonin in our brains – much needed if there is a crisis or problem.
Hell Mary Jo,
I appreciated your list of “ings”. One of the things that I noticed is that all of your “ings” involve other people, not just the leader. I think that people sometimes lose sight of that. I cannot be a good leader unless I am “ing”ing with others.
The only one that I might add is “challenging”. I believe that leaders should challenge themselves and those around them. When this is done in combination with the “ings” listed above, anything is possible (probable).
Ah, Robyn. I love the idea of “giving” being one of those small ings that is difficult to do. Truly, at its core, the best leadership is about giving. Thanks.
Ricky, yes. Since my blog is mostly about the impact of relationships on leadership, that is almost always the lens I see and write about. A leader wouldn’t be a leader without other people (or without “ing” ing with others, as you so humorously put it). I am in support of your “ing” of challenging. What might happen if at the beginning of every day a leader could ask himself, “What can I do today to challenge myself and others?”. Thanks.
This is a great list, Mary Jo. One more I would add to it is “inspiring”. The only way leaders can truly foster the kinds of behaviours, passions, and attitudes they’d like to see among their employees is by stepping up and displaying those attributes in themselves, in how they interact with others. It’s easy to be passionate, gracious, supportive and collaborative when you see those above you demonstrating this every day in the workplace.
Tanveer, although I agree with you I’ve often wondered what it takes for someone to be inspiring. It seems so much harder to characterize the behaviors needed for inspiration than the others listed. Being passionate is another great example. What behaviors would a leader exhibit to show that they are passionate, I wonder. The others (gracious, supportive, collaborative) seem more clear to me. What do you think?
Thanks for the inspiring list. I agree that it is the accumulation of the many “ings” that truly reflect characteristics of great leaders. To be conscious of integrating “ings” in our work fosters a very positive environment. Another “ing” to add to the list is focusing. As leaders, there needs to be an ability to direct and focus staff towards the common goal.
Complimenting . It very nice to appreciate others and be appreciated. Sometimes a nice compliment can go a lot further than a reward or an incentive.
Thank you for this wonderful list. Anyone reading this post could benefit from it. No matter at work or home this list is a very useful reference that many of us need.
Empathizing – It is important for the leader to be empathizing as it helps build trust and also allows for leader to see how others think and feel.
Motivating – One must be able to motivate others either by assigning goals that are motivating, providing rewards or through recognition.
I have to make the point that all of the “ings” presented are inclusive of others. It seems that the fundamental distinction between a good manager and a bad one are the choice of which “ings” to adhere to:
Ignoring
Reprimanding
Mocking
Excluding
Lying
Cheating
Accepting – in the sense of accomplishment and any new tasks regardless of the capacity to get the work done
Belittling – admittedly, this is inclusive
All of these characteristics are applicable to Sutton’s “Certified Assholes” and yet, seemingly missing in the more productive and inspiring managers. Even an unpleasant task can be handled in a way where everyone may not like the outcome, but at least be accepting (another inclusive ing) of the considerations that went into the decision. Whereas that same task can be offloaded onto someone and the person has to accept it but will not be accepting of it.
How about “not ignoring” or “trusting”? I find that these two things, and where I fall on the spectrum make me the most unhappy or happy with my boss. I’m sure they could fit somewhere into the other ‘ings’ listed, but its a try.
Hi Mary,
I can honestly say that I know first hand what it’s like to be under a leader who implements these “ings” and one that doesn’t. These simple gestures made a huge difference in my satisfaction and engagement at work. When I had a leader who naturally enforced these behaviors, I was happier and strived to impress them. These “ings” made me feel like the supervisor cared about my job satisfaction and in turn I cared about my leader’s job satisfaction. It’s this type of work atmosphere that develops mutual respect and transparency.
You have come up with a pretty good list, but if I were to add to it, I would include praising and respecting. Praising, for example would be when a leader will make it a point to let an employee know that they did a good job on a specific task or project. It’s such a simple thing to do and it contributes to an employee’s positive closure of a job well done. And respecting is just a given, without mutual respect between leaders and employees the chances for success are slim.
I would add “laughing” but would qualify that I mean laughing *with* others and *at* themselves. For me laughing at work (or anywhere else for that matter) lightens the load and renders things that could be heavy and uncomfortable a little lighter and a little easier.
another great post, Mary Jo. Thank you.
I agree that it is necessary for a leader to be constantly surveying and looking around, in and about the business they are involved in. A leader not only controls the day to day business but it is their job to keep employees on track with company goals and missions. By doing these “ings” it helps with engagement in the company and allows for customers and employees to believe in what is trying to be accomplished. The “ings” are just a small but very important aspect of leadership.
Carla, Matt and Davor: wonderful additions! Thanks.
Christian, you’ve provided some provocative distinctions. I would add that good bosses are rarely perfect. Sometimes some of the ings you’ve mentioned creep in unintentionally. Then – perhaps forgiving (themselves) and apologizing (to others) becomes needed!
Jake, isn’t “not ignoring” inherent in the list already? (Maybe not). Thanks for mentioning “trusting” – surprised nobody caught it before you!
Sachin, great additions!
Gwyn, you win the invisible and non-existent surprise so far for the best answer yet. LOL. Love it.
Alexander, I wonder if this ever-growing list of ings are THE most important part of leadership. Something to think about.
So well said. Thanks for bringing it into a fairly simple spectrum. And I appreciate all the comments as well.
Having just read “The Speed of Trust” by Stephen M. R. Covey, I am going to add “trusting” to my action plan. Before I read the book I think I classified myself as a fairly trusting person. Not quite as simple as I once thought.
Thanks again!
This is such a great list! I love seeing all the additions. Mary Jo — this would make an awesome book! Perhaps short chapters on each “ing”?
In answer to your question above re: inspiring, I think it’s something that’s more related to actions than words or what you do as a function.
Leaders will know they are being inspiring not because they follow a specific list of behaviours, but because their actions compel those under their care to follow their lead, if not garnering their loyalty when things get tough. In other words, it’s not so much about the leaders’ behaviour as it is what behaviours they foster/cultivate within their team as a result of their actions/conduct.
Beth, best wishes with that action plan! I have not read the book you mention, but have heard its a really good one. Maybe now I’ll pick it up.
Backy, great idea! Thanks.
Tanveer, thank you for stopping back and providing the great explanation. Sounds like a blog post to me.
Hello Mary,
Very nice post.
Another “ings” I want to add in here is that people hope to be leaders should be very good at something on specific areas so that others want to close to them and follow them. Leaders should keep studying in their whole life so that followers can respect you. Otherwise, it is impossible for the followers to respect you and be under your leading if they found they are better than you.
Great post Mary Jo…
I would add rejoicing and celebrating.
Too often leaders and managers miss out on marking achievements and innovations… their own as well as those of others! Yet rejoicing and celebrating with your team is part of the glue of right-relationship and servant/heart centred leadership which creates a win-win-win for everybody.
Patrick, yes, lifelong learning is important!
Sharon I agree. Celebrating success is one of the things that is most missing from the workplace!
Walking! The same floor that those that are
doing the work. Do not pass some one
Without a proper greeting. Avoiding people
voids you of approachability
Acknowledging: This much overlooked leadership trait cuts both ways. First, acknowledging your own limits and need for input from others and second acknowledging the genius in and efforts of others. Do that publicly!
Stephan, what a great way to see all sides of acknowleding. Thank you.
Rick, great idea. I often encourage leaders (especially introverts, who may find this difficult) to do this.