Staying in Integrity
October 14th, 2009 | 
Author: Integrity is hard to define, yet we know when someone else doesn’t have it. We`ve seen a lot of “missing integrity”, in a big way, from leaders over the last few years. The big, public, C-suite execs who go to prison aren’t exhibiting the kind of missing integrity I`ll address here (enough has been written about this).
I`m addressing the silent, insidious, creeping compromises against our personal value system that we may make every day, without thinking. Small, ugly, cloying assaults that we make on our own integrity. Over time, they eat away at our character and can turn into something much larger and potentially dangerous.
A difficult conversation avoided here, a small truth left out there. It all adds up. These may not make headlines, but they change us. And others notice, too. Over time, they can erode our moral character like a rusting, abandoned `58 Chevy. Soon, the shiny paint is gone and there is nothing left but brown ugliness.
Our relationships, organizations, community and world will continually test our integrity. A leader can be swept along at a pace that can (unthinkingly) lead to tradeoffs that compromise the ethical path. When we make those tradeoffs, we can stray into territory that is dangerous, indeed.
How do you stay in Integrity?
So, you are a leader with high morals. You are ethical and honest ?€“ how do you stay in integrity? A few ideas:
- Know thyself: spend the time, effort, and (sometimes) pain to figure out who you are, and more importantly, what matters most to you. Understanding your values are most important. I`m also a big fan of knowing and using strengths to bolster personal leadership. But understanding your weaknesses and dark side are important for knowing what to avoid.
- Know your boundaries: particularly around your values. How much are you willing to compromise them? How negotiable are they? Can you stretch them in any way or are they hard and fast? When your values are tested, there is no black and white and you need be ready to know what it means to you and others to “stretch” or compromise them.
- Take time out: to reflect, to journal, to converse about what matters to you. Do what works, but find a way to spend some time several times a week (yes, I know how hard this is!) to get clarity on what matters to you. Before you think you don`t have time to set aside for this, think again and make it a priority. In order to remain in integrity, you MUST reflect.
- Be clear about what you say you will do, and then do it: communicate to your followers your values and how you will act them out (in specific situations as well as in general); and then do it. Make sure that your feet follow your mouth.
- You will make mistakes: as a leader with a strong value system, you will do your best to follow the right path. But even so, your decisions are often complex and murky. You will make mistakes and stray. Get back on the path quickly, and learn from your mistakes, apologize when it makes sense and forgive yourself.
It may be that staying in integrity will take great effort and require great life changes. But making the adjustments to stay on the right path will be well worth it in the long run.
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12 Responses to “Staying in Integrity”
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Mary Jo,
BRAVO!! Yet another excellent post on what it takes to be a great leader. I think integrity is at the TOP of the list, as everything else builds in it as the foundation. Way to break it down into simple steps and thoughts to consider – very practical! EXCELLENT! Thanks for taking the time to share your wisdom!!
Erin
Mary Jo,
I echo Erin’s thoughts……Integrity is a foundational value and the steps you outlined are foundational practices to truly live in integrity. Thanks for the clarity.
Peg
You touch on an important issue for leaders, especially in the corporate world. Leadership is of course about how you impact others, but that is done mainly by BEING true to yourself, your message, your mission, your truth! Nothing as compelling as a leader that walks the talk with integrity. Your motion to look inside and follow your own compass is a reminder most leaders need continually. Also, checking integrity is about being open to feedback. To make sure if your “feet follow your mouth” you need close relationships with people around you that are truthful, honest and not afraid to tell you when you stray.
You are right on when you say we know when someone else does not have integrity. For staying in integrity, I’d add “listen to the gut” because my stomach tells me when I am in or coming into an area that’s not quite right. Snazzy website by the way!
When you mention “the silent, insidious, creeping compromises” it is a powerful reminder that we are tested all the time, every day and it is hard work to stay true to who we really are. I think many times folks haven’t really taken the time and effort to do the self reflection to really know who they are and what is most important them. I’m always surprised when I ask someone about their core values and beliefs and they hesitate looking for an answer.
Erin and Peg, thanks for your support!
Monica, I agree – “feet following the mouth” (walking the talk). How amazing when we come across those that are truly doing this.
Lisa, Listening to the gut is an important tool. The only problem I see with it is that some of my clients don’t get what that means (MBTI “sensors” would be typical) – they don’t know how to “listen to their gut”. Any suggestions?
Tom, I’ve had the same experience so many times that I’ve ceased being surprised!
This sometimes can be a really hard task, sometimes in trying to please some persons you go out of your path and end up doing things that are not right, the smart thing to do is to learn from this mistake, the problem is when you are not capable of doing this or worst you never notice that you are doing wrong. You need to take your time and be able to understand yourself, because if you are not able to understand yourself who will?
GREAT post!!!
A great list of pointers, Mary Jo. What I find interesting is that once you have defined your core uncompromisable values, it becomes much harder to live up to them in your daily life. But there is great joy when you do. Maybe that is the essence of integrity?
Aaron, interesting that you would see how wrong can be done when you try to please others. I never thought of that.
Ajo, Wow. Simple, but true. Maybe that is the essence of integrity. Thanks for spurring my thinking!
This is a fantastic post, Mary Jo. You make an important point by leaving out the discussions of the kind of lack of integrity that lands people in jail. The way to prevent those kinds of major failures is to focus on the small decisions. By staying in integrity through all our day to day decisions, we protect ourselves and prepare ourselves to be wise in larger decisions. I love the discussions you start!
Becky, thanks. You received the intent perfectly. I also think that finding a way to be intentional about recognizing where we are compromising our integrity on a daily, minute by minute basis is important – but difficult!
It is true that everyone will continue to test our integrity, so we have to be more careful on our behavior. In Asian business situation, sometimes it’s not very clear on this integrity line.For example, giving presents is a common way to show our respect, but it also could be “missing integrity.”because people might think it’s a bribe. Leaders have to be really careful on this because they may lose their reputation and also lose their respect and influence.