On Being a Coach

I’ve been reflecting on the disservice I’ve done to all of those who have read my posts about what it is and what it means for a leader to coach others. I realized that I’ve made coaching look too easy. This post is an attempt at coming clean on that.

You see, the most important thing about great coaching is that it really isn’t about how you do it. It’s fundamentally about who you are as a person and as a leader. In other words, great coaching happens when you are “being” a coach, not just “doing” coaching. An illustration may help.

The foundation

Imagine looking at a lovely old building. You may notice the gables, the interesting roofline or the wonderfully crafted windows. You likely wouldn’t notice the foundation which is usually hidden from your line of sight by the landscaping. Yet the foundation is the most important part of this lovely building. If the foundation is cracked or compromised in some way, the building cannot stand over the long haul; its integrity is in doubt.

So it is with coaching; your personal and professional foundations – your ways of “being” must be sound in order to hold up the skill sets of coaching and to coach with integrity.

Those who do coaching are mechanical; they may know all the techniques necessary to have a coaching conversation, but their coaching may not have the impact that those who are being a coach does. Managers who are the best at coaching are able to shine from the inside out. It’s their way of being that allows those they are coaching to make giant leaps; to transform and develop, to become the best at what they do.

Don’t get me wrong. I will almost always suggest, when asked, that training in the skills of coaching are a good thing. But I will also emphasize that it is your ways of being that will drive the integrity and the effectiveness of your coaching.

Do you know who you are as a human?

Great coaches show up differently than the rest of the world; who they are as human beings stands out. The people they coach will learn more from them because of who they are than they will from what they know or from their use of a standard set of coaching techniques. The heart of the ability to coach others effectively is difficult for this reason. It is a person’s being that determines what is or what isn’t possible for those they coach. The ability to be a coach is a choice; it requires the difficult work of going inside, of taking a journey in personal transformation.

So in the end, there is a difference between saying you are a coach and actually showing up that way. Your ability to be a credible coach has to do with changing and strengthening yourself on the inside. It isn’t easy, but it is what is necessary to make an impact.

P.S. You can substitute the word “leader” for “coach” throughout this post and see how they are interchangeable. Isn’t that interesting?

Continue reading here: What Makes Executive Coaching Different?

Was this article helpful?

0 0