Comments on: Listening to the Answers http://www.aspire-cs.com/listening-to-the-answers Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:03:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Becky Robinson http://www.aspire-cs.com/listening-to-the-answers/comment-page-1#comment-48 Becky Robinson Tue, 12 May 2009 00:56:00 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/new-site/listening-to-the-answers#comment-48 Thanks, Mary Jo. I am going to make note of your suggestions and try them out soon. Thanks, Mary Jo. I am going to make note of your suggestions and try them out soon.

]]> By: Mary Jo Asmus, President, Aspire Collaborative Services LLC http://www.aspire-cs.com/listening-to-the-answers/comment-page-1#comment-47 Mary Jo Asmus, President, Aspire Collaborative Services LLC Mon, 11 May 2009 11:30:00 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/new-site/listening-to-the-answers#comment-47 Hi Becky,<br /><br />I always say that learning to listen better is a 12-step program and that awareness is the first step (welcome to better listener's anonymous). <br /><br />One thing to remember is to quiet your mind, and the chatter inside. If you are really listening, you aren't thinking about what you will say next.<br /><br />A couple of things you can do in addition:<br /><br />1. When you feel your adrenaline pumping and those words bubbling up to your lips, stop, take a deep breath all the way into your abdomen. This will slow you down. It also allows the impulse to talk to reach your forebrain (the "rational thinking" part of your brain), so your response can be more thoughtful.<br /><br />2. For some people, writing down on a piece of paper what they would have otherwise said seems to help. This requires you to have pen and paper handy. I've had clients use this technique in meetings. They find that what they had to say wasn't that important after all (or sometimes would have been damaging to the flow of conversation).<br /><br />Finally, don't get discouraged. If interrupting others has been a lifelong habit, it will take awhile to reverse it. Best wishes! Hi Becky,

I always say that learning to listen better is a 12-step program and that awareness is the first step (welcome to better listener’s anonymous).

One thing to remember is to quiet your mind, and the chatter inside. If you are really listening, you aren’t thinking about what you will say next.

A couple of things you can do in addition:

1. When you feel your adrenaline pumping and those words bubbling up to your lips, stop, take a deep breath all the way into your abdomen. This will slow you down. It also allows the impulse to talk to reach your forebrain (the “rational thinking” part of your brain), so your response can be more thoughtful.

2. For some people, writing down on a piece of paper what they would have otherwise said seems to help. This requires you to have pen and paper handy. I’ve had clients use this technique in meetings. They find that what they had to say wasn’t that important after all (or sometimes would have been damaging to the flow of conversation).

Finally, don’t get discouraged. If interrupting others has been a lifelong habit, it will take awhile to reverse it. Best wishes!

]]> By: Becky Robinson http://www.aspire-cs.com/listening-to-the-answers/comment-page-1#comment-46 Becky Robinson Mon, 11 May 2009 00:13:00 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/new-site/listening-to-the-answers#comment-46 Great post, again, MJ. Listening is so important, and people can tell when we're listening and when we're not. I struggle with interuppting when I am excited about something... any suggestions? I often realize what I am doing and apologize, but wish I could be more mindful about listening completely before I respond. Great post, again, MJ. Listening is so important, and people can tell when we’re listening and when we’re not. I struggle with interuppting when I am excited about something… any suggestions? I often realize what I am doing and apologize, but wish I could be more mindful about listening completely before I respond.

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