Comments on: Listening Part III: Lose the Distractions! http://www.aspire-cs.com/listening-part-iii-lose-the-distractions Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:03:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Yung http://www.aspire-cs.com/listening-part-iii-lose-the-distractions/comment-page-1#comment-850 Yung Mon, 01 Mar 2010 03:30:56 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=937#comment-850 Good points, distractions such as phone calls will most likely make the other person feel unimportant or that they're not a priority! It also doesn't give a good impression of myself as a net result of this. Good points, distractions such as phone calls will most likely make the other person feel unimportant or that they’re not a priority! It also doesn’t give a good impression of myself as a net result of this.

]]> By: Mary Jo Asmus http://www.aspire-cs.com/listening-part-iii-lose-the-distractions/comment-page-1#comment-831 Mary Jo Asmus Wed, 24 Feb 2010 01:00:33 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=937#comment-831 Andrea, what great advice. Thank you. Dale, there is probably a reason why I might feel someone who is distracted when I am talking is not caring. I would be thinking that what I have to say is not their priority! Andrea, what great advice. Thank you.

Dale, there is probably a reason why I might feel someone who is distracted when I am talking is not caring. I would be thinking that what I have to say is not their priority!

]]> By: Dale http://www.aspire-cs.com/listening-part-iii-lose-the-distractions/comment-page-1#comment-830 Dale Tue, 23 Feb 2010 23:44:09 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=937#comment-830 Great and simple advice. Especially in today's world when there are so many distractions. As well if you were in the follower's shoes, you would see distractions as not caring or not willing to listen. Active listening can not be accomplished with distractions. Great post! Great and simple advice. Especially in today’s world when there are so many distractions. As well if you were in the follower’s shoes, you would see distractions as not caring or not willing to listen. Active listening can not be accomplished with distractions. Great post!

]]> By: Andrea B http://www.aspire-cs.com/listening-part-iii-lose-the-distractions/comment-page-1#comment-829 Andrea B Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:20:29 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=937#comment-829 One thinkg I have tried is to avoid an instant response to someone I am listening to. I find that taking a short pause after someone stops talking before I try to reply/respond or restate what I think I heard often results in them taking the conversation to a new level. Just a simple nodding of the head while I think an extra 5 or 10 seconds about what I just heard can encourage the person to share what may really be at the heart of an issue. It takes some restraint because human nature causes us to want to dive in and share what WE are thinking, but I think that action says "I am listening. I am considering what you said, your thoughts are important." One thinkg I have tried is to avoid an instant response to someone I am listening to.
I find that taking a short pause after someone stops talking before I try to reply/respond or restate what I think I heard often results in them taking the conversation to a new level.
Just a simple nodding of the head while I think an extra 5 or 10 seconds about what I just heard can encourage the person to share what may really be at the heart of an issue. It takes some restraint because human nature causes us to want to dive in and share what WE are thinking, but I think that action says “I am listening. I am considering what you said, your thoughts are important.”

]]> By: Mary Jo Asmus http://www.aspire-cs.com/listening-part-iii-lose-the-distractions/comment-page-1#comment-827 Mary Jo Asmus Tue, 23 Feb 2010 12:43:01 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=937#comment-827 Yung, What do you think the net result to the other person is when you pick up your phone in the hallway conversation? To you? Great comment on the note taking, and good suggestion. Thanks for offering it. Yung,

What do you think the net result to the other person is when you pick up your phone in the hallway conversation? To you?

Great comment on the note taking, and good suggestion. Thanks for offering it.

]]> By: Yung Hua http://www.aspire-cs.com/listening-part-iii-lose-the-distractions/comment-page-1#comment-826 Yung Hua Tue, 23 Feb 2010 05:57:54 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=937#comment-826 Great points to consider Mary Jo. I have been both a victim and a culprit of bad listening during conversations with my superior as well as peers. Your points are very valid and something I'll definitely have to consider. I have a bad habit of picking up a phone call in the middle of a hallway conversation. A comment on the note taking, it would appear to me that if you really focus on the listening part, a lot of the note taking wouldn't be needed immediately. A practice I have used in the past is taking notes immediately after the meeting so that the material is fresh in your mind. Great points to consider Mary Jo. I have been both a victim and a culprit of bad listening during conversations with my superior as well as peers. Your points are very valid and something I’ll definitely have to consider. I have a bad habit of picking up a phone call in the middle of a hallway conversation.

A comment on the note taking, it would appear to me that if you really focus on the listening part, a lot of the note taking wouldn’t be needed immediately. A practice I have used in the past is taking notes immediately after the meeting so that the material is fresh in your mind.

]]> By: Mary Jo Asmus http://www.aspire-cs.com/listening-part-iii-lose-the-distractions/comment-page-1#comment-825 Mary Jo Asmus Tue, 23 Feb 2010 01:12:39 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=937#comment-825 Kris, thanks! Liza, Isn't it funny how something as simple as scheduling time to listen isn't something we might think of? I agree with the note taking, but feel its also easy to miss things in the listening when doing so. Listening isn't just about the words. Sonia, I love your suggestion to ask for focused time and explain why it needs to be so. Kelsey, perhaps you'll take the lead and address this rude and ineffective behavior with those around you? Respectfully, of course! Karla, see Sonia's reply. If not you, who? Kevin, I don't know. I'm still not completely convinced about the note taking thing. Good listening depends on so many more things than words..... Perhaps it depends on the intensity of discussion (i.e., for the more intensive ones lose the note taking!)? Eric, I agree. And using a Blackberry at a meeting is also rude and distracting to the other meeting participants! Kris, thanks!

Liza, Isn’t it funny how something as simple as scheduling time to listen isn’t something we might think of? I agree with the note taking, but feel its also easy to miss things in the listening when doing so. Listening isn’t just about the words.

Sonia, I love your suggestion to ask for focused time and explain why it needs to be so.

Kelsey, perhaps you’ll take the lead and address this rude and ineffective behavior with those around you? Respectfully, of course!

Karla, see Sonia’s reply. If not you, who?

Kevin, I don’t know. I’m still not completely convinced about the note taking thing. Good listening depends on so many more things than words….. Perhaps it depends on the intensity of discussion (i.e., for the more intensive ones lose the note taking!)?

Eric, I agree. And using a Blackberry at a meeting is also rude and distracting to the other meeting participants!

]]> By: Eric Means http://www.aspire-cs.com/listening-part-iii-lose-the-distractions/comment-page-1#comment-824 Eric Means Tue, 23 Feb 2010 00:31:31 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=937#comment-824 Mary Jo, I have noticed at companies that many managers use their blackberries a whole lot in meetings while someone is talking. They then have nothing to contribute because they didn't hear anything that anyone said....but sometimes they just want to finish answering all their emails. To me there is no reason to be at the meeting if you gain nothing. Seems like wasted time. Mary Jo,
I have noticed at companies that many managers use their blackberries a whole lot in meetings while someone is talking. They then have nothing to contribute because they didn’t hear anything that anyone said….but sometimes they just want to finish answering all their emails. To me there is no reason to be at the meeting if you gain nothing. Seems like wasted time.

]]> By: Kevin Chou http://www.aspire-cs.com/listening-part-iii-lose-the-distractions/comment-page-1#comment-823 Kevin Chou Mon, 22 Feb 2010 22:23:28 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=937#comment-823 #5... One of the most useful tool in my office is a couch. Sitting behind the desk put me at an uneven level with the speaker. Sitting at the couch signals a casual setting, which makes the speaker feels at ease and be more candid. I found taking notes at the couch is inconvenient, also defeats the casual setting. However, when I'm behind a table or desk, I feel taking notes signify I'm paying attention to what is discussed. #5… One of the most useful tool in my office is a couch. Sitting behind the desk put me at an uneven level with the speaker. Sitting at the couch signals a casual setting, which makes the speaker feels at ease and be more candid.

I found taking notes at the couch is inconvenient, also defeats the casual setting. However, when I’m behind a table or desk, I feel taking notes signify I’m paying attention to what is discussed.

]]> By: Karla Bee http://www.aspire-cs.com/listening-part-iii-lose-the-distractions/comment-page-1#comment-820 Karla Bee Mon, 22 Feb 2010 18:54:04 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=937#comment-820 How do you suggest asking a manager or boss in a non- confrontational, nonjudgmental way to minimize the distractions? I feel as though most people would take such a request as a personal attack. KLB How do you suggest asking a manager or boss in a non- confrontational, nonjudgmental way to minimize the distractions? I feel as though most people would take such a request as a personal attack.

KLB

]]>