As a leader, you are often rewarded for having all the right answers. You may fight hard for your position on a subject. However, as I’ve watched leaders put an effort into letting go of their own need to be right when it made sense to do so, I’ve also watched some things happen within their organizations that can sometimes be nothing short of astounding:
- People taking responsibility, where they avoided it before
- A greater level of creativity when a team feels safe to say what’s on their minds
- Employees who weren’t previously invested in the work roll up their shirtsleeves and go the extra mile
- A decline in turnover; employees want to stay in the organization
These potential upsides may encourage you to learn how to let go of your need to be right. This is one of those seemingly small shifts in mindset that are in reality hard to do. How do you begin to learn?
Before you jump into a conversation with an argument or ultimatum about your ideas, consider doing the following first:
Listen and leave your judgment behind: When you truly listen with an attitude of curiosity and non judgment, you may find some validity and clarity in the ideas of others. If you find yourself judging another’s ideas as they speak, shift into listening some more. If others are challenging you, and you’re anxious to have your say, hold off on speaking and crank up the listening.
Accept the other’s viewpoint: For the time being, understand that someone else’s viewpoint is their perception and experience. It isn’t right or wrong, it is simply what they believe. Seek to understand the viewpoint from the stance of the other person.
It’s not about you: So often, we interpret another’s stance against our ideas as a personal attack. Sometimes that may be the case, but it’s rarer than you might think. Stay open and calm. Realize that it’s about the conversation. It’s not about you.
It’s not about them: If someone opposes your ideas, it isn’t a commentary about their character. Listen to what they say, and don’t assume that there is something about their position that is untrustworthy. Seek clarity by asking respectful, open-ended questions.
Learning to take an attitude that there isn’t always a “right” and a “wrong” helps you to be more open. When you are more open, your followers and your organization will be better off.
What else have you practiced that helps you to let go of the need to be right?
These are excellent tips, Mary Jo — especially the first one. I leave my judgment behind by reminding myself that there’s more than one right way to do a task. If I give my employees the space to do it their way, rather than forcing them to do it my way, I usually end up learning something and the project is always the better for it.
Hi Larry, you sound like a wonderful leader. Your employees are lucky to be able to report to someone who not only sees the sense in allowing them to do it their way, but also learns in the bargain!
Excellent, wise, common sense tips we need to have constant reminders of. Printing this and putting them on my wall!
GD Post Mary Jo –
What resonates the most w/me is the Listen and Leave Your Judgement Behind. This is not only key w/leaders, but it is key in many business (and even personal) relationships. Try going through the day not interrupting the person you are speaking to, or thinking about your comment before they finish their thoughts – you will be amazed how much control and discipline it takes.
Yes, as a leader it takes alot to let your own ideas go – (afterall, leaders are always the smartest in the room – j/k)
As humans, we take a negative comment or a different viewpoint other than ours as a personal attack – (we are human afterall!) It is one of the reasons why, in big group meetings, I tend to let everyone else talk, and demonstrate their points – I don’t find that atmosphere the best place to get a point or idea across – too many egos and people trying to prove how smart they are. Better chance of working with someone on a one on one basis.
Thanks Mary Jo – good stuff!
SPGonz
Christina, it is indeed an honor for these tips to be on your wall!
SP, re: Listen and Leave…yes, it is hard to leave judgment behind – which is why I suggest replacing it with deep listening. Still hard, but the replacement may make it a little easier! I also appreciate the 1:1 conversations, but also realize that meetings can be a place for great conversations too (when facilitated well). Just can’t get away from them! Thanks for your comments, much appreciated.