Leadership Lessons from Children
October 5th, 2009 | 
Author: In our laundry room is a framed essay written almost twenty years ago by my daughter, Briana. The paper that this essay is written on is familiar lined three-whole punch paper, and her words are written in pencil. The paper has yellowed. The words and the red smiley face stamped on the page by her teacher in the upper left corner are fading. Yet her brief essay remains a timeless reminder of her wisdom and a message for leaders in these tough times. Her words are captured exactly as she wrote them, spelling errors and all:
A while back, I had written a post on whether kindness should be a leadership competency. Whether you believe kindness should be a required trait of leaders or not, it is an aspect of being human that most people appreciate.
Children`s wisdom in knowing the art of being human came back into my view with a post by Tarah, a very smart and kind third grader who wrote about “How I Respect Myself and Others” (thanks to her mom, Lisa Rosendahl, also a wonderful blogger, for making us aware of the post). Tarah`s post reminded me that I was looking at my own daughter`s wise essay on kindness every day, well worth sharing with you.
You should always be kind to others. If you don`t know how, here are some good tips.
If you don`t like the person, you should always be kind to them anyway. If a person came up to you and said “I hate you”, you would not like it. If someone did that to you, you would know how it felt.
You should never call people nams, you aren`t hurting them on the outside, but you are hurting them on the inside.
Aside from her message of the importance of kindness, Briana has reminded us of the importance of empathy and the hurt our words can do to the inside of others. Put yourself in the shoes of others in your organization. What kindness might you extend to them today?
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14 Responses to “Leadership Lessons from Children”
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Great inspiration for a new week. And what a beautiful image of that essay hanging on your wall for all these years!
We can learn a lot from our children. Your daughter was one smart cookie then and I bet she is amazing now. Thanks for acknowledging Tarah – her first link – makes me so proud
I'm glad you like my post and thanks for linking me!
Lisa and Tarah: How nice of you to stop over with comments.
Lisa: my daughter is amazing, as is yours!
Tarah: its so nice to meet you, and I loved your post!
Mary Jo, it's so true that we can learn from children. They have not become so negative that they can't still see the positive. That's something that we as adults–and role models–need to remember! Briana showed a great deal of wisdom for one so young. Thanks for your excellent post. Hope you'll visit my blog and take a look at my motivational newsletter!
Blessings,
Alexis
http://successdiva.wordpress.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/successdiva/
The most ironic thing about this is that even though we are "adults", the reasons we normally have for saying hurtful things to others are the same as when we were kids. To make ourselves feel powerful when we feel threatened. It is normally the last weapon we have but we will use it when we feel threatened.
We spend so much time teaching kids the "sticks & stones" adage but words do hurt and it is a hurt that is difficult to take back.
Mary Jo,
I agree that there is so much that we can learn from children about how we should treat others. The wonderful thing about children is that they see through all the nonsense adults use to blur an issue and simply call us on things.
It's why in Hans Christian Andersen's story "The Emperor's New Clothes", it's a child who points out the obvious since the audience can very easily see that declaration coming from a child.
From that vantage point, who better to keep us on track than children, who'll gladly tell us when we're hiding behind nothing more than our own misconceptions.
Becky, Alexis, Perry and Tanveer-
Thanks for your beautiful words and additions.
Mary Jo,
This post truly demonstrates the old saying “I learned everything I needed to know in Kindergarten”! Having worked for fortune 100 companies and employee-owned companies, it has been truly shocking to me to see managers/directors/VPs forget what they learned about kindness as it relates to the work place and their employees. I had a boss when I worked for the “Snoopy” insurance company that was a near Jekyll and Hyde when it came to kindness at work (versus personal life). Specifically, on a few rare occasions, this boss would bring is young son into work. The amount of kindness (and patience) he showed that boy seemed boundless. Now, when it came to us (mostly young, inexperienced market researchers), the same kindness and patience did not seem to apply. I remember, years later, describing this boss to someone as the following: “he was a horrible boss, you never knew if your mistake was going to be a mountain or a molehill. But, seeing him with his son, it was clear to me that he was in fact human and, maybe, even a nice guy.”
Thanks again for the post and the reminder!
This is so eye-opening. I think it's so amazing that young children understand this, and some adults never even think about this. The craziest thing is that if everyone was kind to others I feel like other leadership characterstics would follow; it can be a major stepping stone to becoming a successful leader.
Sharon, interesting observation about the unkind boss. I wonder if you have an idea about what might have made him act so differently in different situations?
Brittany, I wonder if adults forget the lessons they learned as children?
Mary Jo-
I think sometimes adults do forget what they learned as children; they get so wrapped up in whatever they are doing and don't consider the impact it can have on someone else.
Very cool post. Children tend to say like it is, as they see it. It is usually really honest and true. Yes. I think good leaders understand how to treat others. When to push people and when to praise people. I have never seen a good leader belittle people. On the flip side I have seen bad leaders make people despise working for them.
Brittany, thanks for your confirmation. When I think about it, I actually believe that most adults know what to do. Actually doing it is the hard part.
Kyle,it is my theory that "bad leaders" don't deserve the title of "leader". Maybe we should call them something else?