Leadership is Darned Personal
“Working with an executive coach feels so indulgent and selfish.”
“I didn’t know that developing as a leader would be so personal.”
“The things you write about leadership apply to our personal lives as well as our work lives.”
All of the above statements came from clients and readers recently. My initial reaction to these comments was curiosity at their surprise that working on themselves would develop them as leaders (it’s what I’ve helped leaders with for a long time, after all). I’ve spent some time thinking about that.
Gradually, my own private “aha moments” began unfolding. My clients’ surprise that our work together was so personal was starting to make sense. The reason why the original draft of their development plans sometimes focus on a big project they want to complete and not their personal behavior or character was becoming clear. I began to see why clients sometimes resist the question, “What behaviors did your 360 indicate that you need to change?” (a question often met with silence, avoidance, and then a change of topic to talk about that project or promotion they want).
Many organizations may not acknowledge the connection between the human and the leader until it’s too late. We expect people to lead without the support and encouragement they need to improve themselves as individuals. “Leave your humanity at home, just make sure you get the work done” becomes an unsaid motto. We all unknowingly buy into it.
Then there is the fear of looking inside of ourselves.
The case for changing yourself
It’s hard and scary to look at yourself. It’s even harder to realize that you need to change. On the other hand, it’s so much easier, and less scary, to imagine successfully completing that big old project or getting that coveted promotion.
The truth of the matter is that leadership IS personal. The kind of person you are – at work and in all other areas of your life – is what determines your ability to lead well. That big, hairy audacious project you want to manage? That promotion you’ve had your eye on? They won’t be pulled off unless you change your behavior because what’s worked for you in the past won’t work for you now. These new challenges require a something new of you.
What is required is a change in your behavior, your character, your way of being in the world. Yes, being a leader is darned personal. Developing into the kind of person who can successfully lead the change you want to see happen is indulgent and selfish. It’s also necessary.
Leadership is a human journey
Leadership is an evolving process, a human journey. Something new is always going to come along that will require you to change the way you show up in the world; and that starts from the inside. Nobody said it would be easy. Continuing success only comes with the tough work of ongoing personal change.
Successful leadership requires you to change in such a way that seems indulgent and selfish. It’s hard work, but when you invest the time and effort in yourself: priceless!
Continue reading here: How listening more will change you
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