One of the most amazing things to watch is when a leader actually changes his thinking (or better yet, his beliefs) about a situation. When he sees the role he plays in the situation, and can understand and grasp what he needs to change in himself and how that change is connected to the big picture of his organization or community is a wonderful thing to observe.

When a leader gets caught up in blaming and criticizing others for a problem, its not a bad thing for them to vent their frustration briefly to their coach. However, my clients who’ve done this know that I will ask “What role do you play in the issue?” and “What role can I play to turn it around?” Often, they find that they have more at stake than they thought, as well as some ideas for turning the situation around.

It’s freeing to consider that there is something the leader can do. Just the thought of taking action can light them up.

The next time you feel as if a situation is out of your control and you are a victim, ask yourself:

• What role do I play in this issue?
• What role can I play to turn the situation around?