Comments on: It’s Not Them, It’s You http://www.aspire-cs.com/its-not-them-its-you Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:03:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Lois http://www.aspire-cs.com/its-not-them-its-you/comment-page-1#comment-644 Lois Thu, 14 Jan 2010 20:16:09 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=747#comment-644 Wow, would I love to forward this to a couple of certain someones! Once when I was having one of those "is it just me?" moments at a weekly meeting, I decided to start making notes to observe that. I already had all my PREVIOUS meeting notes in which I had noted my input and then the response it got (which was "BMO" meaning "Blew Me Off") and was all set to take it personally until I made a study of the response to others' input which turned out to be BTOT (i.e. "Blew Them Off Too!") Once you get that this is an equal opportunity "Pearls Before Swine" response, YOU can BIO (BLOW IT OFF!)too! lol Wow, would I love to forward this to a couple of certain someones! Once when I was having one of those “is it just me?” moments at a weekly meeting, I decided to start making notes to observe that. I already had all my PREVIOUS meeting notes in which I had noted my input and then the response it got (which was “BMO” meaning “Blew Me Off”) and was all set to take it personally until I made a study of the response to others’ input which turned out to be BTOT (i.e. “Blew Them Off Too!”) Once you get that this is an equal opportunity “Pearls Before Swine” response, YOU can BIO (BLOW IT OFF!)too! lol

]]> By: Mary Jo Asmus http://www.aspire-cs.com/its-not-them-its-you/comment-page-1#comment-643 Mary Jo Asmus Wed, 06 Jan 2010 22:49:24 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=747#comment-643 Christopher, great additions - thanks! Monica, thanks for the funny/sad story. Did he change his ways following your expert coachng? Tanveer, it looks to me like you have learned to be self-observant (of yourself and others). Bravo, not an easy thing for many! David, thats a great re-phrasing of the "stupid question" quote my mother used to say. Thanks. Kevin, Check out Crucial Conversations or check with your HR department. They may have some resources to assist with delivering feedback. Christopher, great additions – thanks!

Monica, thanks for the funny/sad story. Did he change his ways following your expert coachng?

Tanveer, it looks to me like you have learned to be self-observant (of yourself and others). Bravo, not an easy thing for many!

David, thats a great re-phrasing of the “stupid question” quote my mother used to say. Thanks.

Kevin, Check out Crucial Conversations or check with your HR department. They may have some resources to assist with delivering feedback.

]]> By: Kevin J Porter http://www.aspire-cs.com/its-not-them-its-you/comment-page-1#comment-642 Kevin J Porter Wed, 06 Jan 2010 21:09:34 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=747#comment-642 Mary Jo, Great advice. Any specific suggestions for stepping up to deliver feedback for someone on the other side of the table? Thanks! Kevin Mary Jo,

Great advice. Any specific suggestions for stepping up to deliver feedback for someone on the other side of the table?

Thanks!
Kevin

]]> By: davidburkus http://www.aspire-cs.com/its-not-them-its-you/comment-page-1#comment-641 davidburkus Wed, 06 Jan 2010 21:07:40 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=747#comment-641 Great post. I love the fourth one. The only stupid question is one you already know the answer to. Great post. I love the fourth one. The only stupid question is one you already know the answer to.

]]> By: Tanveer Naseer http://www.aspire-cs.com/its-not-them-its-you/comment-page-1#comment-640 Tanveer Naseer Wed, 06 Jan 2010 21:04:43 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=747#comment-640 Mary Jo, I think you bring up a good point of getting someone you trust to observe you in order to understand why you're getting the reactions you are. One of the best pieces of advice I was given was understanding that what message you want to share and what message is perceived is not always the same thing. Listening and observing the reactions you get to what you say is a valuable way to know if you're actually imparting the message you want to relay. Looking forward to reading your follow-up on this piece. Mary Jo, I think you bring up a good point of getting someone you trust to observe you in order to understand why you’re getting the reactions you are.

One of the best pieces of advice I was given was understanding that what message you want to share and what message is perceived is not always the same thing. Listening and observing the reactions you get to what you say is a valuable way to know if you’re actually imparting the message you want to relay.

Looking forward to reading your follow-up on this piece.

]]> By: Monica Diaz http://www.aspire-cs.com/its-not-them-its-you/comment-page-1#comment-639 Monica Diaz Wed, 06 Jan 2010 12:50:08 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=747#comment-639 Mary Jo, great post as always! It made me chuckle to remember a client of ours that had done several personal growth and teamwork seminars with us and was puzzled about this very thing: why didn't his team feel confident to speak up? He asked us to observe a meeting which he started by saying: "I want your honest feedaback. It's very important to me...just don't say anything stupid!" Mary Jo, great post as always! It made me chuckle to remember a client of ours that had done several personal growth and teamwork seminars with us and was puzzled about this very thing: why didn’t his team feel confident to speak up? He asked us to observe a meeting which he started by saying: “I want your honest feedaback. It’s very important to me…just don’t say anything stupid!”

]]> By: Christopher Zaucha http://www.aspire-cs.com/its-not-them-its-you/comment-page-1#comment-638 Christopher Zaucha Wed, 06 Jan 2010 12:29:10 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=747#comment-638 Always be aware of your tone of voice. Speak to your team as though you are sitting down and someone else is speaking. Always be aware of your tone of voice. Speak to your team as though you are sitting down and someone else is speaking.

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