Influence: It’s Not What You Think

The word influence is an important one for leaders. Influence is used as a verb, indicating movement and action. It’s no wonder that you might think that influence has something to do with exerting force. To that point, you’ll find that the dictionary.com definition includes words like power and control. When defined this way, it describes an act that seemingly requires a lot of pushing.

If you are a people manager, you know that there are times when you must exert your authority through a pushing type of influence. This may be necessary when there is an emergency, when someone is in danger, or when you have employees who need to be taught new skills. However, in most everyday situations, you’ll want to take a softer approach.

Any influence you may have by way of your position/title in an organization is tenuous. Sustainable influence must be built, and most of the time it’s built in a gentler way than that described above.

Here are some ways you may not have considered to build influence without “pushing”:

Connect and build relationships: You can’t expect to influence others when they don’t know what you bring to the relationship. It takes time. Be purposeful and deliberate in building relationships and be genuine in doing so.

Serve others: By finding ways to help others, you make them want to help you. It’s human nature to want to pay back. Let others decide how they need your help. Asking “how can I help you to be successful?” is a great way to start.

Walk the talk: Communicate your expectations to others. Be a leader of character, and visibly demonstrate the behavior you expect in others. Let others know what you value – in your own life and in the organization. When you model your expectations, character and values to others, you will simultaneously influence them to do the same. It’s magic.

Fill up emotional bank accounts: Be there when others need you. Listen, understand, have compassion. Appreciate others and let them know the gifts they bring to the team, the organization, or the community. Apologize when you’ve made a mistake.

Most of these things aren’t new, but they all require time and a sincere interest in other people. They will, over time and with consistent effort, result in sustainable influence.