In Praise of Compelling Meetings

We hear a lot about how we need to get rid of meetings in our organizations. I would argue that we need to get rid of poorly planned and executed meetings. We still need good meetings; they are a way for everyone to be involved and engaged in dialog with each other.

We need more of the kind of meetings where people get together with everyone’s best interests in mind and with the intention of serving the greater good of the organization. These are the kind of meetings where people connect on a deeper level while listening for understanding with a willingness to be personally changed. These meetings are where healthy, respectful conflict is considered a good thing and elephants get surfaced.

When was the last time you attended or facilitated a meeting like that? If you are like most organizational leaders, I imagine they are few and far between.

What if you got rid of all the lame, boring, one-way meetings where someone stands at the front of the room and tells us what we think we need to do and how we need to do it, and instead replaced them with the kind of meetings where:

People actually listen to each other. There aren’t laptops and cellphones on the table because its been mutually decided that these hinder the ability to really listen. These meetings are much too interesting for participants to be distracted by technology anyway. There are spaces between the words that allow a pin to drop; these spaces mean that people are actually thinking; not about how they’ll defend their ideas, but instead about how to understand others’ stance. They’ll speak when it makes sense to do so.

Provocative, open ended questions are asked often to further the dialog. Questions are the fuel of new ideas, and everyone loves to get sparked by great open-ended questions. When it’s time for deeper thinking, everyone at the meeting feels comfortable asking them. There is no concern on their part that they don’t know the answers or that they’ll be labeled as “not smart enough” – but they can’t wait to hear what creative thinking they ignite and the mutual understanding they catalyze.

The unsaid gets surfaced without consequences. Most people at the meeting know where the unsaid is hidden; none of them will hold back on coaxing it out in the conversation because that’s how the team pulls together and creates a safe platform for moving ahead. There is praise and thanks for the person putting the unsaid on the table. The dialog around the table is now lively and the unresolved gets resolved.

Conflicting opinions are welcomed. Those who don’t agree speak up with their opposition. Instead of head shaking and eye rolling, the others in the room want to know more. They really desire to understand the conflict and are willing to spend some time on it because they know that it might impact their project, customer, or organization. They listen and ask more questions. They thank the person for bringing their opinion into the dialog. Resolution occurs through this dialog.

Now this is the kind of meeting anyone could get excited about. We need more meetings like this in our organizations. What other qualities of good meetings make them compelling to you?

Continue reading here: It's All About the Relationships

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