Comments on: How to Ask For and Receive Feedback http://www.aspire-cs.com/how-to-ask-for-and-receive-feedback Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:03:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Mary Jo Asmus http://www.aspire-cs.com/how-to-ask-for-and-receive-feedback/comment-page-1#comment-558 Mary Jo Asmus Thu, 03 Dec 2009 13:31:08 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=629#comment-558 Kristin, it sure sounds like you are on the right track! Congratulations, and I'd love to hear how your feedback "project" is going. You might consider including some coaching skills training for you and your managers to help to keep "feedback" on a positive note. I am rewriting an older post on "feedback" vs. "coaching" to be published soon - you'll see the differences there. Those who don't appreciate feedback often love coaching. I'm sorry I missed you and the rest of the class. I was looking forward to it, too. Kristin, it sure sounds like you are on the right track! Congratulations, and I’d love to hear how your feedback “project” is going. You might consider including some coaching skills training for you and your managers to help to keep “feedback” on a positive note. I am rewriting an older post on “feedback” vs. “coaching” to be published soon – you’ll see the differences there. Those who don’t appreciate feedback often love coaching.

I’m sorry I missed you and the rest of the class. I was looking forward to it, too.

]]> By: Kristen Simsek http://www.aspire-cs.com/how-to-ask-for-and-receive-feedback/comment-page-1#comment-557 Kristen Simsek Thu, 03 Dec 2009 07:15:20 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=629#comment-557 Mary Jo, Thank you for the post. With all that I have been learning about the power of feedback, I have tried to implement formal policies that require my own managers and co-workers to give each other feedback on overall performance and projects on a regular basis. I really feel that creating an environment where co-workers are comfortable giving each other negative or positive feedback promotes double loop learning. It seems that without feedback individuals don't really have any way to improve their behaviors or procedures and there is really no way to advance as an organization as a whole. I also realize that I am very lucky to realize the positive powers of feedback (learning) as I am beginning to notice many others do not view the experience in the same light. p.s. I am a student in Dr. Simmons class and was disappointed that we were not able to video conference during our last class session as planned! Mary Jo,
Thank you for the post. With all that I have been learning about the power of feedback, I have tried to implement formal policies that require my own managers and co-workers to give each other feedback on overall performance and projects on a regular basis. I really feel that creating an environment where co-workers are comfortable giving each other negative or positive feedback promotes double loop learning. It seems that without feedback individuals don’t really have any way to improve their behaviors or procedures and there is really no way to advance as an organization as a whole. I also realize that I am very lucky to realize the positive powers of feedback (learning) as I am beginning to notice many others do not view the experience in the same light.

p.s. I am a student in Dr. Simmons class and was disappointed that we were not able to video conference during our last class session as planned!

]]> By: Wally Bock http://www.aspire-cs.com/how-to-ask-for-and-receive-feedback/comment-page-1#comment-556 Wally Bock Thu, 03 Dec 2009 00:01:22 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=629#comment-556 Congratulations! This post was selected as one of the five best independent business blog posts of the week in my Three Star Leadership Midweek Review of the Business Blogs. http://blog.threestarleadership.com/2009/12/02/12209-midweek-look-at-the-independent-business-blogs.aspx Wally Bock Congratulations! This post was selected as one of the five best independent business blog posts of the week in my Three Star Leadership Midweek Review of the Business Blogs.

http://blog.threestarleadership.com/2009/12/02/12209-midweek-look-at-the-independent-business-blogs.aspx

Wally Bock

]]> By: Mary Jo Asmus http://www.aspire-cs.com/how-to-ask-for-and-receive-feedback/comment-page-1#comment-555 Mary Jo Asmus Wed, 02 Dec 2009 22:49:18 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=629#comment-555 Brittany- I never thought that leaders may not have considered asking for feedback because they are so used to giving it. I guess that might be true in many cases. Thanks! Cirel - I am also a fan of "critical" feedback for myself. Perhaps because people are less reluctant to provide "positive" feedback. This can cause a deficit for us in terms of real, actionable feedback that we can use! Steve - your story was really captivating, and most appropriate. Thanks for that and the link to your post. Patrick - what a great addition to the conversation. To think that asking for feedback can open lines of communication is wonderful. It also shows some humility and vulnerability on the part of the leader. Brittany- I never thought that leaders may not have considered asking for feedback because they are so used to giving it. I guess that might be true in many cases. Thanks!

Cirel – I am also a fan of “critical” feedback for myself. Perhaps because people are less reluctant to provide “positive” feedback. This can cause a deficit for us in terms of real, actionable feedback that we can use!

Steve – your story was really captivating, and most appropriate. Thanks for that and the link to your post.

Patrick – what a great addition to the conversation. To think that asking for feedback can open lines of communication is wonderful. It also shows some humility and vulnerability on the part of the leader.

]]> By: Patrick D Kelley http://www.aspire-cs.com/how-to-ask-for-and-receive-feedback/comment-page-1#comment-554 Patrick D Kelley Wed, 02 Dec 2009 21:35:52 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=629#comment-554 Excellent post Mary Jo. I think that, as leaders, while a lot of us want feedback. we usually don't think to ask for it, which results in us not getting the feedback that we want and need. I think that it really is important to actively seek out feedback, because otherwise you probably won't get much, if any. If you think about it, it can be uncomfortable to get feedback, but it can be even more difficult to be the person giving it, and, as a result, most folks will keep their feelings to themselves unless asked (and even then you may have to coax it out of them). Asking for feedback opens the lines of communications and, at least to some degree, sends the message that the other person should feel free to speak frankly without fear of reprisal. Excellent post Mary Jo. I think that, as leaders, while a lot of us want feedback. we usually don’t think to ask for it, which results in us not getting the feedback that we want and need. I think that it really is important to actively seek out feedback, because otherwise you probably won’t get much, if any. If you think about it, it can be uncomfortable to get feedback, but it can be even more difficult to be the person giving it, and, as a result, most folks will keep their feelings to themselves unless asked (and even then you may have to coax it out of them). Asking for feedback opens the lines of communications and, at least to some degree, sends the message that the other person should feel free to speak frankly without fear of reprisal.

]]> By: Steve Laswell http://www.aspire-cs.com/how-to-ask-for-and-receive-feedback/comment-page-1#comment-553 Steve Laswell Wed, 02 Dec 2009 15:41:45 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=629#comment-553 Can you imagine a person buckling up for a long awaited trip? Heading out to a new destination they enter the address [goal] into their GPS; the journey begins. At "that" intersection the lovely GPS Lady gently suggests, "We just missed our turn, we'll need to recalibrate to reach our destination." What would you think of the driver who not only thinks but says outloud, "I don't care what you say, I'm not changing direction." Once I begin to think of "feedback" as support given so I will reach my destiny or destination I cannot get enough. "Gratitude for the gift" is then a natural response. Thanks for your blog! For an interesting story on feedback you might enjoy my recent blog "How Stuff Happens Right Under Your Feet". http://www.nextlevelexecutivecoaching.com/2009/11/how-stuff-happens-right-under-your-feet/ Can you imagine a person buckling up for a long awaited trip? Heading out to a new destination they enter the address [goal] into their GPS; the journey begins.

At “that” intersection the lovely GPS Lady gently suggests, “We just missed our turn, we’ll need to recalibrate to reach our destination.”

What would you think of the driver who not only thinks but says outloud, “I don’t care what you say, I’m not changing direction.”

Once I begin to think of “feedback” as support given so I will reach my destiny or destination I cannot get enough.

“Gratitude for the gift” is then a natural response.

Thanks for your blog!

For an interesting story on feedback you might enjoy my recent blog “How Stuff Happens Right Under Your Feet”.
http://www.nextlevelexecutivecoaching.com/2009/11/how-stuff-happens-right-under-your-feet/

]]> By: Cirel http://www.aspire-cs.com/how-to-ask-for-and-receive-feedback/comment-page-1#comment-552 Cirel Wed, 02 Dec 2009 07:26:50 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=629#comment-552 Great post, Mary Jo. Feedbacks are a great way to find what or where things need to be improved. Personally, I prefer more negative feedback than positive (though those are definitely always nice to hear). However, negative feedbacks help me see my weakness(es). By knowing my weaknesses, I get to have a very narrowed down, targeted area to work on so that I will hopefully not repeat the same mistake again in the future. I do believe that leaders should be open to all types of feedbacks (but even moreso to the not-so-pleasant ones). Great post, Mary Jo. Feedbacks are a great way to find what or where things need to be improved. Personally, I prefer more negative feedback than positive (though those are definitely always nice to hear). However, negative feedbacks help me see my weakness(es). By knowing my weaknesses, I get to have a very narrowed down, targeted area to work on so that I will hopefully not repeat the same mistake again in the future. I do believe that leaders should be open to all types of feedbacks (but even moreso to the not-so-pleasant ones).

]]> By: Brittany Moore http://www.aspire-cs.com/how-to-ask-for-and-receive-feedback/comment-page-1#comment-551 Brittany Moore Wed, 02 Dec 2009 02:06:38 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=629#comment-551 This is such a great reminder to actively ask for feedback and then listen to the feedback as constructive criticism, not as personal attacks. Leaders are so used to giving the feedback that they generally find it difficult to accept feedback from others. Although it is sometimes hard to listen to feedback it is so important because it is one of the easiest ways to improve since those around us see our behavior more realistically than we see it ourselves. This is such a great reminder to actively ask for feedback and then listen to the feedback as constructive criticism, not as personal attacks. Leaders are so used to giving the feedback that they generally find it difficult to accept feedback from others. Although it is sometimes hard to listen to feedback it is so important because it is one of the easiest ways to improve since those around us see our behavior more realistically than we see it ourselves.

]]> By: Mary Jo Asmus http://www.aspire-cs.com/how-to-ask-for-and-receive-feedback/comment-page-1#comment-550 Mary Jo Asmus Wed, 02 Dec 2009 00:42:54 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=629#comment-550 Sara, it is more often than not that leaders shy away from giving feedback that will help their employees, and make the leader shine! So sad. Nick, you've described "CEO Disease" well. One of the problems with asking for feedback is the issue of whether the feedback is honest. I would like to assume that a leader has pretty good relationships with the people they are asking. Tom, this is a great story. That person you described found the courage to ask, and seems to have received good results. Thanks for sharing it. Meredith, I am certified to use a 360 instrument, and use it with all of my clients who haven't had one in the relatively recent past. Other clients are in organizations that already have a 360 they use, but in any case, the 360 feedback and a Myers-Briggs Type Indicator are the "kickoff" to the vast majority of my coaching client engagements. I supplement that feedback throughout the course of our work together with interviews and ask the client to get feedback in the manner described here, too. I recognize that "anonymous" feedback is likely to be the most honest and powerful. With a good coach guiding them, many will share their 360 results and most will step into asking for feedback. I comletely agree that it is hard to be on the receiving end. I've been there, and recently. I found myself justifying and explaining (not out loud). I stopped and began to engage with the person providing the feedback. Once I could turn off the defense, I found the information I was being given most useful. Thank you for taking the time to add your insight! Sara, it is more often than not that leaders shy away from giving feedback that will help their employees, and make the leader shine! So sad.

Nick, you’ve described “CEO Disease” well. One of the problems with asking for feedback is the issue of whether the feedback is honest. I would like to assume that a leader has pretty good relationships with the people they are asking.

Tom, this is a great story. That person you described found the courage to ask, and seems to have received good results. Thanks for sharing it.

Meredith, I am certified to use a 360 instrument, and use it with all of my clients who haven’t had one in the relatively recent past. Other clients are in organizations that already have a 360 they use, but in any case, the 360 feedback and a Myers-Briggs Type Indicator are the “kickoff” to the vast majority of my coaching client engagements. I supplement that feedback throughout the course of our work together with interviews and ask the client to get feedback in the manner described here, too. I recognize that “anonymous” feedback is likely to be the most honest and powerful. With a good coach guiding them, many will share their 360 results and most will step into asking for feedback.

I comletely agree that it is hard to be on the receiving end. I’ve been there, and recently. I found myself justifying and explaining (not out loud). I stopped and began to engage with the person providing the feedback. Once I could turn off the defense, I found the information I was being given most useful.

Thank you for taking the time to add your insight!

]]> By: Meredith Bell http://www.aspire-cs.com/how-to-ask-for-and-receive-feedback/comment-page-1#comment-549 Meredith Bell Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:31:19 +0000 http://www.aspire-cs.com/?p=629#comment-549 Ah, Mary Jo, you've tackled one of my favorite subjects since my company is the publisher of a 360 feedback tool, 20/20 Insight. It's powerful when leaders follow your process because nothing can replace face-to-face contact with the people they're getting feedback from. But in my experience, few will ask because they're afraid of what they'll hear. I wrote a blog post recently, "Feedback: A Gift Many People Reject," that dovetails nicely with the points in your last paragraph: http://ow.ly/HDUA I'm with you that feedback truly is a gift, but it's hard to see it that way when a person is on the receiving end of criticism. (Many people don't know how to GIVE feedback without accusing or blaming, but that's another topic...) It takes strong character and self-esteem to respond in a way that affirms the feedback giver. Our natural reaction is to justify, defend, or explain our behavior because we don't want to have to face our weaknesses or change. The potential for dialogue is a powerful outcome for either in-person or 360 feedback, and it can result in real miracles. I've seen it many times. Thank you for this insightful post. Ah, Mary Jo, you’ve tackled one of my favorite subjects since my company is the publisher of a 360 feedback tool, 20/20 Insight. It’s powerful when leaders follow your process because nothing can replace face-to-face contact with the people they’re getting feedback from. But in my experience, few will ask because they’re afraid of what they’ll hear.

I wrote a blog post recently, “Feedback: A Gift Many People Reject,” that dovetails nicely with the points in your last paragraph: http://ow.ly/HDUA

I’m with you that feedback truly is a gift, but it’s hard to see it that way when a person is on the receiving end of criticism. (Many people don’t know how to GIVE feedback without accusing or blaming, but that’s another topic…) It takes strong character and self-esteem to respond in a way that affirms the feedback giver. Our natural reaction is to justify, defend, or explain our behavior because we don’t want to have to face our weaknesses or change.

The potential for dialogue is a powerful outcome for either in-person or 360 feedback, and it can result in real miracles. I’ve seen it many times.

Thank you for this insightful post.

]]>