Helping Your Followers to Stay Grounded
July 29th, 2009 | 
Author: Several years ago my then-teenaged daughter had to have major surgery for scoliosis. With a severe curve in her spine, her rib cage was in danger of damaging her lungs. The surgery required cutting her entire back open and placing rods and hooks along her spine to keep it from curving further.
She also had a past history of grand mal epileptic seizures. The surgeon was concerned that she might seize on the operating table, so he planned to have a neurologist on hand during the surgery.
Worry and Speculation Can Hijack Us
My worry about my daughter’s upcoming procedure overwhelmed me. I was unable to focus or concentrate on much else in the weeks leading up to the surgery. I tried to find perspective – there are worse things that could happen to a child than this kind of surgery, after all. I tried to focus on the positive: my daughter was smart, spirited, active, and normally healthy otherwise.
My mind kept going to the worst thing that could happen. Until….
Shocked Into Reality
During the weeks leading up to the surgery, a friend at work lost her daughter to sudden illness. She was the same age as my daughter. It was a horrible, horrible shock and loss for my friend, her family, and for those of us around her. It was the saddest thing imaginable.
The loss of this vibrant young woman grounded me in the reality of my own situation. My daughter was still with us, and the surgery she was scheduled for would assure that she would remain healthy. Worrying about what might happen wasn’t doing anyone any good; I was literally shocked back into a focus on the present.
What This Has to Do With Leadership
During these tough times, I see some leaders getting caught up in conversations about what “might” happen. Speculating about the worst thing that can happen in their organizations isn’t helping anyone.
Especially now, a leader’s responsibility is to keep people focused on the reality of the present. They must avoid and re-direct the negative conversations about what might happen.
There is no better time than now to get out of your office, communicate reality and truth with people. Put an end to rumor and speculation. And since fearful employees may not hear the message the first time, you will need to communicate it over and over again.
Help your followers to stay grounded during these tough times.
P.S. My daughter’s reality? Since her successful surgery, she has traveled the world, is a graduate student, is physically active as a dancer in a ballet company, and recently married a great son-in-law. She is an inspiration, and in her own way, a great leader.
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7 Responses to “Helping Your Followers to Stay Grounded”
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Mary Jo, totally concur that we should put all the cards on the table with our employees. And you are correct, you can't just assume that if you said it once, that once will be enough.
But if they are fearful, there is a reason for that fear, and you need to be honest with yourself and figure out where that came from. Make sure your actions line up with your rhetoric.
And hear the fear. Ask "ok, so what if that happened, what would we do? What would you do?" Once they talk through these they might see that things will not end up as bad as they are imagining them to be.
Remind them that there is never any substitute for impressive performance, and today, let's work together to make that happen. We live in uncertain and hypercompetitive times, and complacency and mediocrity just won't suffice.
Great suggestions, Bret. And a great reminder for managers to talk through the fear with employees.
My concern? Many (most?) organizational leaders avoid such emotional discussions because they really don't know how to have them. Suggestions? Here are mine: Step one: leaders need to recognize that emotions are are signficant part of the workplace. Step two: they must be willing to step into conversations that are emotional. Step three: you've provided some great questions to start the conversation.
Anything else you would add?
Thanks for starting THIS conversation!
Great follow-up, Mary Jo. Again, concur that many leaders avoid these emotional conversations because they are tough and risky, but they are also *critical*. I think there are two things there are no substitute for – the first is performance and the second is caring. You can't just tell folks you care, that won't work. You have to show them by being consistently present and available. And don't feel like you have to have all the answers, because the truth is you don't.
You do a great job here, Mary Jo. Thanks.
Let me add that this is very tough to do if you start when things get tough. A lot of what happens at the face-to-face level is that we reap the consequences of the way we acted when times were good.
Bret and Wally-
I think I'll now run my posts through you before I publish them (just kidding). Of course, you are correct – caring is important, as is having the ongoing discussions -not just in times of crisis. Thanks for your powerful additions.
Fear is a part of the present times and an issue to be addressed. There is nothing wrong with fear per se: it keeps us from danger and sets our mind thinking about possible outcomes. It is HOW we face fear that makes a difference. In my experience, leaders that can convey their own fears clearly and how they intend to act in spite of them fare better than those who act as if everything were fine (they just get excluded from the conversations about the fear). The challenges of facing hard times are many, but keeping an eye on what we still have (and value) is a real eye-opener.
Thanks for sharing your very personal perception of this, Mary Jo and for bringing this to the leadership table. Always enjoy your blog!
Monica,
You are a very wise woman. I am grateful for your comments.