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Leadership Digital

Harvesting Summer Learning

I`m heading out on a late summer vacation. I will return in a week, but I`ve scheduled some posts while I`m away. This one captures the lessons learned during a very busy summer.

It`s back to school time. I`m considering the experiences I had in the school of life during this past summer. It was busy, filled with at least one life passage and other important lessons. Many of the lessons have been learned before.

I learned to relax: I struggled with my own desires for my daughter to have a wedding that was “sensible”. I originally viewed her wish for a large, formal wedding as a waste of money and a waste of time (after all – my husband and I married in a local park, surrounded 30 of our family. We had brunch afterwards in the church basement, catered by my sister in law. Total cost: about $300. And we`re still married, proving some weird logic in my mind that the less you spend, the longer you stay married).

Once I accepted that this was HER day and what SHE wanted, I could relax and go with it. Although not what I would have preferred, once I let go of MY agenda, it was fun to plan and work together with her on this. It was a wonderful last chance to spend time with her as a single woman, and the wedding was beautiful. Meta lesson: Sometimes we all have to “let go” of the way WE want things. And when we do?€¦.things can turn out just beautifully.

I struggled with courage: I didn`t think I would learn anything personally from the International Consortium of Coaching in Organizations` symposium in Kalamazoo. This was a groundbreaking event for the participants ?€“ not me (or so I thought). I lead a design team that planned for this event over the course of the year. Although we wanted a small group (these are designed for significant confidentiality), the recession hit hard, resulting in a group that was less than 50%of our target. How could we possibly do this within budget and with such a small group?

We could have chosen to cancel the symposium. The team decided to move forward, knowing it would be a powerful experience for the participants. I knew every one of the attendees (some better than others) and many were community leaders. Could something we`d planned for twice the number of attendees work? What if it flopped? I felt so responsible! Okay, you guessed it. It was perfect, well appreciated by attendees ?€“ many of whom had some great breakthroughs that benefit them, their organizations, and our community. Relationships amongst the attendees were formed that were supportive and caring. It was, in short, amazing. Meta lesson: Feel the fear and do it anyway. Trust that things will work out as they should.

I was surprised and delighted: After blogging for a year and a half, I became tired of writing posts that nobody read. So, after mocking Twitter like everyone else who had never tried it, I went against everything I believed and began using it. Immediately, I was swept into a stream of community that cared about the same things I did (by the way, Becky Robinson, @LeaderTalk and the exquisite writer behind LeaderTalk was phenomenal in helping to get me introduced to this community).

The group made me feel very welcome. I discovered what I didn`t expect – a sense of inclusion, community, collaboration and support. My blog readership is increasing, people are commenting on posts, and I am returning the good will that has been extended to me. Meta lesson: You know what they say about making assumptions. My assumption was proven wrong, and I am surprised and delighted to be a part of a wonderful online community.

The lessons for leaders: Harvest your learning. Relax and accept that you may have to learn some lessons more than once!

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Mary Jo Asmus
Mary Jo
A former executive in a Fortune 100 company, I own and operate a leadership solutions firm called Aspire Collaborative Services. We partner with great leaders to help them become even greater at developing, improving, and sustaining relationships with the people who are essential to their success. This blog is for leaders and those who help them to be more intentional about relationships at work. I am married, have two daughters, and a dog named Edgar the Leadership Pug who exemplifies the importance of relationships to great leadership.
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