The iPad mini has finally drawn me into iPad-world. With my purchase of the mini, I get a chance to bring all of my electronic baggage with me everywhere I go. This wonderful portable device now goes with me to the gym so while I sweat it out I enjoy the TED Talks that I haven’t yet seen. While viewing, I noticed a button on the TED website that you can click called “inspire me” to call up inspirational presentations by TED presenters.
I click it often. I’m an inspiration junkie who wants to be stirred; it makes me happy (and helps me to feel less of the elliptical burn). Sometimes, these inspiring videos move me. I think the ability to move people is some of the magic in great presenters and great leaders.
Have you ever thought about what it means to move others?
Moving others means that you create a shift in their thinking; from where they are right now to a place where they experience an observable (to them or others) emotional connection. Part of being a leader involves creating emotional shifts in others – moving them – when a shift in thinking needs to be made. One of the quickest routes from where your team is now to where they need to be is to touch their emotions. In fact, I would say that true sustainable shifts in people’s thinking are hard to come by unless they feel an emotional connection to the change that needs to be made.
You can’t make someone shift their thinking. But you can show appropriate emotion when you need to inspire others, and it just might work to move them. Some ideas on how to do that:
Become aware of your own feelings: One way to do this is to be more connected with yourself; your body in particular. I know that sounds strange to some, but I also know that we call emotions “feelings” because they don’t happen in our heads – we actually feel them in our bodies. So as you go about your day, become connected and aware of your emotions by taking notice of what’s happening below your head. You might feel anger in your throat or happiness in your chest, for example.
Express your emotions: Once you have a handle on the fact that you actually feel the emotions you’ve tucked away (for years?), consider that it’s okay to let them show. Let them appear in your voice and in your body language. You’ve been holding them inside for too long and this is causing stress – in you and others. Allowing some emotion to show puts some genuineness in your daily interactions.
Put words to your emotions: Don’t judge or be embarrassed by what you are expressing. Emotions give our lives richness, and we swim in them daily. It’s often okay to talk about or explain the emotions you feel – whether they are positive or negative. We don’t often talk about our emotions, but they can sometimes be misinterpreted (for instance, sometimes we cry when we are happy), so naming them for others might be the right thing to do.
Let your emotions show. Lead with genuineness and watch people be moved and inspired.
Mary Jo — So many lovely thoughts here — and a clear path to follow.
Your words remind me of a client who once told me, with a laugh, that he had discovered his emotions as “a faint buzzing noise” in his body. It wasn’t until a friend suggested those might be FEELINGS that he began to pay more attention!
So many of us have numbed out our emotions because they don’t seem acceptable at work or are at times simply too uncomfortable, but in the process lose meaning, joy and an unexpected gratitude for life. I believe that great leaders do know how to reawaken those feelings, restoring us.
Thank you for another wonderful post.
Dan, what a wonderful story! I especially like your take on the fact that numbing out our emotions numbs out the good ones, too. We can use so much more joy and gratitude in our organizations!
Thank you for your kind words.