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Leadership Digital

Digging Out of the Answer-Person Hole


There are times when a leader must refrain from giving advice and offering opinions; yet such restraint is difficult. After all, you’re paid to provide solutions….aren’t you? So you don’t pause to consider, in the moment, about whether it’s appropriate to give your opinions and advice. When asked, your mouth opens and you speak your truth without considering the consequences.

And so it continues. Opinions and advice are provided, and your staff keeps coming back to ask for more. You’re wearing down under the burden of being the person with all the knowledge. You’ve dug yourself into the answer-person hole and it seems too deep to climb out of. To quote an old commercial, “It’s a vicious cycle!” Do you really want to work this hard?

It’s flattering, but is it wise?

It’s certainly flattering to give your advice and opinions. Excuses I often hear from leaders for doing so are, “they asked me for my opinion” or “my staff expects me to tell them.” Stop and consider if this habit of is really serving you and your staff at this time and for this situation.

The truth is that leaders must give advice and opinions. The wisdom to be learned in this is discernment about when to give answers and when to guide (or coach).

Less-experienced staff may need more from you; your opinions and advice will be valuable as they are learning about the organization and your expectations. As they learn and develop, you will need to let go and let them grow by guiding (coaching) them, rather than providing your solutions.

Support your staff in finding their own solutions

When you support your staff in developing their own solutions and opinions, you’ve not only supported their growth, but you also free up yourself to do work that has a higher priority for you and your organization.

So before you spout off those solutions and opinions, ask yourself:

  • How does it serve me and those I lead at this time to be the answer person?
  • What does this situation call for?
    • Is my advice and opinion needed, or
    • Do I need to guide them instead?

It’s freeing to help others find their own solutions. Your staff wants to develop and discover the best ways that they can serve the organization, and you want to dig your way out of the answer-person hole. Perhaps now is the time to consider “guiding” rather than “telling”.


9 Responses to “Digging Out of the Answer-Person Hole”

  • Dallas Bragg:

    MJ–

    You just described me to a “T”! Your advice has cinfirmed similiar mesages I’ve received recently. I have always been proud of having all of the answers, but have been left exhausted.

    Thanks!

    Dallas

  • Thinking you are the answer person is a very paternal posture. As long as mommy and daddy have all the answers, I don’t have to think for myself. This creates dependency and the kids are still living at home when they are 35 :) Thanks! Bret

  • I really like that you keyed in on “at this time” and “for this situation.” I think leaders need to be seen as the answer person, just not all the time. Once we learn how to stop and take the time to realize that we don’t need to always be the answer person we can look at each situation and say do I need to do it “at this time” and “in this situation”.

  • Travis Branzell:

    I really believe that guiding your employees is much better than telling your employees how tasks should be performed. This does a couple things…..people have to think and learn how to problem solve much better if they have guidence on how to perform tasks rather than being told what to do. Guiding them can also lead to less direct management as well. Some employees are completely dependant on an answer person and struggle to think for themselves to solve problems.

    When I started working outside of college, I would ask my boss a lot of questions to get insight on how he wanted me to perform my tasks. After a while he would answer less and less of my quesions and reply “you went to college, therefore you know how to problem solve…..figure it out.” From then on I’ve learned to only come to him with questions when I reach a dead end on a task. I’ve also been able to come up with my own solutions to solving problems since I have relied less on my boss for answers.

  • Stefanie:

    Great information. I hope your next post is phase 2 – recommendations on how to effectively guide employees to discovering their answers and retaining their learnings.

  • Kevin Chou:

    Guiding someone to find his own answer takes more elbow grease than simply give him the answer, but it is probably the only way to dig ourselves out of the answer person hole. The energy spent will be a good investment.

  • Dallas, its darned hard work to have all the answers. Sleep well.

    Bret, how true. Our organizations do resemble families, of sorts.

    Tom, I’d say most leaders need this kind of reflection, wouldn’t you? Thanks!

    Travis, great insight. Better to have employees think for themselves and learn!

    Stephanie, you can use the search function on this site and look for posts on inquiry or coaching. You may find a nugget or two there.

    Kevin, I’d call this “short term pain for long term gain”.

  • This is such a great topic! I am reminded of a metaphor someone once shared with me about how people tend to bring a problem to “the boss” and leave, much relieved, when s/he solves it for them. In this case, having a problem is similar to having a monkey on your back. You carry it to your boss and s/he takes it from you thus relieving you of any responsibility for its resolution. Bosses who continually take “monkeys” from people by providing all the answers, pretty soon end up with an office full of monkeys and a huge burden of responsibility for making all of the decisions.
    There is absolutely a place, and a requirement, for leaders to provide timely information to those they lead but I’m thinking that a way out of the “Answer person hole” is to share the “monkey”. And I think that can be accomplished by trading in some of those answers for some well-placed questions.

    Another great post MJ. Thanks!

  • Gwyn, I love the monkey metaphor. So much so that I actually bring a (stuffed) monkey into my coaching skills workshop as a visual reminder for the leaders there that coaching is all about “giving the monkey back” to their employees. And I agree – trading in some of those answers for some well-placed questions is key! Thanks.

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Mary Jo Asmus
Mary Jo
A former executive in a Fortune 100 company, I own and operate a leadership solutions firm called Aspire Collaborative Services. We partner with great leaders to help them become even greater at developing, improving, and sustaining relationships with the people who are essential to their success. This blog is for leaders and those who help them to be more intentional about relationships at work. I am married, have two daughters, and a dog named Edgar the Leadership Pug who exemplifies the importance of relationships to great leadership.
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