Archive for the ‘work/life balance’ Category

Last year, when I had 3 or 4 readers for this blog , I published a Leadership Wish List for 2009. Most of you haven’t seen it. And, most of my wishes remain unfulfilled, but I’m quite patient. So, I’ve updated it a bit, adding some new thoughts and reposting. What would you add?

1. For leaders to slow down and be intentional about the work they do. Being swept away by “busy-ness” can be responsible for poor decisions. Reflection time, journaling, prayer, meditation ?€“ whatever ?€“ are the stuff behind the building of great leadership.

2. For followers to take an active stand against leaders who use their power to advance themselves to the detriment of the “greater good”. Followers create leaders, and get what they vote for, agree to, and follow. Its time to consider the the role we all play in ineffective and unethical leadership.

3. For leaders to “get” that they must listen, ask, delegate, empower, develop others. How different it would be if all leaders just chose one of these to add to their leadership skills (how cool would it be if we all listened more?).

4. For leaders to understand that when they do the stuff in #3, they don`t have to work so hard, and that they can focus on doing the things that will make them great (developing and communicating a vision, influencing others, etc.). Amazing stuff, that list in #3. Try it, and consider what you will do with your free time.

5. For leaders to get into the regular habit of requesting feedback from others. And then listening without judgment to the feedback, saying “thank you” and deciding whether to take action on it. Even if the feedback received is less than fully honest (not unusual), it shows others that a leader is willing to improve.

6. For the “tipping point” that is needed for all leaders to realize that they must stop micro-managing the tasks and become facilitators of process. In other words, let go of the need and the act of control. Hire and lead the right people, and stop trying to make them do things your way.

7. For organizations to focus their development efforts and dollars on their best leaders. Even in these times, organizations are throwing their training dollars around and allowing anyone to tap into them. Focus those dollars on the few who are already great (but want to get greater) and notice the amazing effect it has on business.

8. For leaders to truly embrace the concepts of “work-life” balance, not just with their talk, but with their actions. Horror stories abound of long-term “required” twelve or fourteen hour days. A leader will get the most out of people if you trust them to “get the work done” and encourage them to assure they are “balanced” between work and other activities. And?€¦.how about modeling balance yourself?

9. For leaders to learn to listen to themselves. To stop and listen to that little voice that lets them know when they are on the right track (or off the track).

10. For the press to concentrate on writing about leaders that are doing the right things. How uplifting and inspiring to hear stories about good leadership! I know they`re out there! I`ve met them, you`ve met them, and they are the quiet ones we don`t hear about that are changing lives.

11. For the word “leader” to be reserved only for those who are working for the greater good. Unethical and immoral leaders who abuse the power they’ve been given don’t deserve the title of “leader”. Those who follow and support evil leaders should remember their responsibilities too – see #2 above.

12. For organizations to start supporting and promoting the leaders who get the “people stuff”: promoting those who have been successful only on the basis of their knowledge and achievement isn’t doing our organizations any good. Leaders must have the “soft skills” as well as be knowledgable and results-oriented.

How about you? What are your “leadership wishes” for 2010?

Schedule regular time with real, “actual” friends.

Actual friends may or may not be associated with what you do for a living. You may or may not be related to them. Many of them you`ve known all your lives, others, for a short time.

These friends are there for some very good reasons, not the least of which is to remind us of who we are. Forces of nature have put them in our lives to ground us and to keep us human.

What makes actual friends important for a leader? They:

?· can be trusted to tell us what they think ?€“ and they`ll say it without filters
?· will say what needs to be said with kindness
?· will be there and will pitch in when we ask
?· have no vested interest in pleasing us
?· won`t undermine our efforts
?· don`t want our job
?· won`t talk behind our back

Schedule the time to spend with your actual friends now. Do it often. Accept them as they accept you. Enjoy your humanity.

If you had asked me a few years back if I thought kindness was essential to leadership, I may have choked down laughter. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen it listed in a list of essential skills for a leader.

Perhaps we can value kindness through painfully experiencing its opposite. When I left a large company a few years ago as one of thousands being layed off following an acquisition, I wasn’t treated well on my last few days there. Don’t get me wrong; I’m grateful for my years at that company, but was left with a final memory that could spoil a great career if I had let it.

This memory rears its ugly head from time to time – especially now, as I see thousands of employees losing their jobs. It’s safe to say that I wasn’t treated kindly.

The instigator of the bad experience was one person who was going through his own hell, wondering if he was going to have a job the next day. Stress does not make good bedfellows with kindness. When we’re under the extreme stress that a deep recession can cause, kindness can barely get any air time in brains and hearts that have been hijacked by worry. There are ways to encourage kindness in ourselves, though.

You can be firm and kind at the same time

Sure, in these tough times, I don’t advocate that you give up being firm. Firmness is essential too. It may be easier to be firm as you are dealing with the brunt of the recession – layoffs, pay cuts, and keeping your organization or business afloat.

However, when we are under stress, we either focus too much on the tasks to be completed or we turn inward, becoming overly focused on ourselves and our situation.

Being kind might be more essential than it has ever been.

The reasons for being kind are more compelling than ever. Geoff Colvin, author of The Upside of the Downturn, says “When the downturn ends, everyone will remember how your company behaved in the dark days.” They will also, more sharply perhaps, remember how YOU behaved in the dark days.

How can you be kind to others during the dark days?

Take care of yourself first. Really. Sounds a little strange when we’re talking about being kind to others. How can you possibly be kind to others when your health – mental and physical – aren’t at their peak?

Figure out what you might be able to control in your life outside of work (since you may be feeling like you can’t control much at work). Use that gym membership, get a therapist or a coach, increase the time you spend with your loved ones, meditate, pray, enjoy life in whatever way fulfills you.

Then you can focus on the needs of others in your organization or business. The oldest trick in the world for finding fulfillment is to help others. Like you, your employees and peers may feel fearful and powerless. What role might you play in easing that? What action can you take that will assist others in developing some control over what they can?

So when employees want to talk about what they are experiencing, listen with kindness. It will help you to be more human. And in the end, kindness will cost your organization and company less than its opposite.

From West Michigan Business Review, July 3, 2008

Written by Mary Jo Asmus

“Entropy,” a term used in physics and chemistry, is a measure of disorder in a system. To decrease entropy and restore order, energy must be drawn from outside a physical or chemical system. Similarly, when a leader is out of balance, she may experience a high state of disorder and elevated entropy. A leader must learn to draw energy from someplace outside of her “system” to assure her leadership is whole, balanced and healthy.

This energy can be obtained from activities that renew, based on individual preference. They may include a reflective or meditative practice, prayer, journaling, reading or other activities. Dedicated leaders want to make a difference and experience a connection to their work that goes deeper than their current stressful lives usually allow. They long for renewed connections to meaning in the work they do. They know, deep down, that carving out time to renew their energy can make them better leaders, allowing them to remain grounded in what matters most. They know they must take care of themselves first to make a difference in the institutions and communities they lead. But putting this knowledge into practice is a challenge.

Much of the dialogue we hear about work-life balance misses a point. The very phrase leads us down a path to arrive at a destination that is rarely sustainable. The term makes us think of work and life as separate entities. It assumes that once balance is attained, the work is done; there is no further need to pay attention to assuring balance over the long term.

In reality, in our fast-paced 24-7 world, we’re lucky if we experience any kind of balance for more than a nanosecond. The pull of things that throw us out of balance is so compelling that many leaders — if they are honest with themselves — feel unbalanced most of the time.

Leaders must learn to continually rethink, prioritize and act on what is important to them through a regular renewal activity. When this habit is developed, it is possible to reach a state of work-life synergy, where all parts of our life work together connected by a common thread of meaning.

What is needed is a regular, deeper dive into what gives meaning to life — paying attention to beliefs that have allowed a leader to get out of balance and the actions needed to gain synergy. For many leaders, the time needed to reflect on all of this is not a priority. Leadership suffers under these conditions.

Great leadership cannot be sustained without spending time and effort in the heart of what matters most.

To be a great leader, you must be intentional and committed to regularly checking in with yourself through a reflective practice of some kind. This will ensure your values and priorities are aligned, giving you the synergy to sustain yourself as the best leader you can be.

copyright 2008 by Western Michigan Business Review.