Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Wendy Appel, MA, is our guest writer today. A cultural anthropologist, public speaker and author who specializes in organization development, executive coaching and change leadership. The focus of her work is on individual and organizational change and transformation. She has a new book coming out tomorrow – see information below.

I had no idea …

I set out to write a book. Actually, that’s not true. I didn’t set out to write a book, but rather a pamphlet. As I’ve come to learn, there’s your plan and then there is another plan for you.

Things evolved and my creativity and voice surfaced. I was a woman possessed. Every time I took a hike, my mind relaxed as I let in impressions of the beauty around me—sights, sounds, smells, sensations. Nature was my muse; my inspiration.

As the beauty of my surroundings, the magic of an almond blossom, the majesty of the mountains, the miracle of the immense diversity and creativity in nature washed over me, things fell together and the dots connected. I couldn’t wait to record my new insights. What started as a pamphlet morphed into a 442 page book. It took on a life of its own and I was the tool for it’s manifestation.

What does this have to do with leadership? A lot. Like a book, humans and therefore leaders are in a process of becoming and at the same time, act as instruments to allow others and their organizations to become what they can be—the best that they can be.

Sometimes leadership is about getting out of the way.

It’s a balancing act—don’t push and don’t hold back. Allow. What does that feel like? How do you know?

Do you play golf or tennis? Do you ski? If you’ve swung a club or racket, hit that sweet spot and the ball flew effortlessly towards its target; if you’ve skied and had a run that made you yelp with pleasure because you skied in synch with the rhythm of the mountain; or if you worked on a sculpture and found you were simply releasing the form that wanted to emerge from the stone.

If you’ve been on a team or lead a team and everyone jelled, you rallied together toward a common goal and the process was exhilarating, pleasurable even though it may have been tough . . . then you know what I mean.

We get out of the way.

As a leader, how can you move with the flow rather than fight or resist it? How do you create an environment for the people you lead to flourish; for your organization to thrive? How can you bring out your best and invite that from others?

How do you step into the flow?

• Be present to your inner self—sensations, feelings, inner critic, judgments.
  
• Be present to the world around you. Do you experience awe for the miracle of life?
  
• Be curious (and listen deeply) about yourself, people, differences, cultures, competitors, life while suspending judgment.
  
• Make a plan and at the same time, be willing to let it go so that something better can unfold.
  
• Be agile and shift when the situation changes or new information comes to light.
  
• Give yourself time to relax, reflect, and remove distractions. Creativity and innovation don’t necessarily happen because you work longer hours.
  
• Notice when you try to will things to happen on your schedule or in the way you think they should happen; when you resist or deny; when you listen to the “shoulds” or the voices of fear; when you try to force people to conform or perform according your your plan and schedule . . .
  
• Trust the process, trust yourself, follow the call—follow your dream and allow.
  

The more present you are with what is happening within you and around you, the less reactive and the more agile you’ll become and able to respond to what is being called for in the moment. You’ll begin to move with the flow and lead from the InsideOut.

InsideOut Enneagram: The Game-Changing Guide for Leaders
encourages readers to bring out their best and evoke that in others. InsideOut is a highly accessible and application-oriented book on self-leadership
that uses the Enneagram as the map for your journey. This book is replete with useful exercises and practices, a personal journal, and a self-guided Enneagram Typing process.

Order your copy of InsideOut
for friends, family and colleagues at Amazon.

You can order the companion Enneagram Typing Cards at www.TheEnneagramSource.com
www.wendyappel.com

A while back, I wrote a popular post called How to Be a Great Mentor Without All the Fuss. I’ve been meaning to write the companion piece for those who are being mentored, so here it is.

Having a mentor is a great way to learn more about different parts of your organization, to gain exposure to someone at a higher level in your organization, or to take advantage of learning more about what works for a leader you admire.

There are lots of baby boomer leaders who want to mentor younger leaders; and younger leaders are eager for guidance in the workplace. One organization I work with has embraced informal mentoring (there isn’t a “program”; leaders are finding mentors on their own). Many of the senior executives are not only mentoring one or more individuals – they have their own mentors too.

In the end, it’s up to you to make the most of being mentored. Although your mentor may get a great deal of satisfaction from mentoring you, you have the most to gain. Here are some thoughts on how to assure that your time with the mentor is well spent:

Let your mentor know your goals for being mentored: Telling your mentor specifically what you’d like to learn from your time with them at the start of your relationship will help to keep things focused.

Take responsibility to schedule meetings: Don’t wait for your mentor to schedule your meetings. Once you’ve agreed to a meeting timeline, go ahead and do it yourself. It shows your commitment to learning and the relationship.

Attend scheduled meetings and be on time: This might seem simplistic, but I’ve had mentees miss scheduled meetings or be late without notice. These things won’t rest favorably with your mentor when they’ve donated their valuable time to help you. If you must miss or you are running late, let your mentor or their assistant know immediately.

Prepare for your meetings: Long before your next meeting, make sure you review any commitments (people they’ve introduced you to or things you’ve agreed to do) you made to your mentor so that you can make sure you have time to get them done. The meetings are for you; prepare an agenda and provide it to your mentor. Include questions you’d like to ask. Your mentor will appreciate that you’ve taken initiative and you’ll be sure to get what you need at each meeting.

Honor your mentor’s time and boundaries: If your meetings are scheduled for an hour, honor that time. Watch the clock and make sure you don’t go over the agreed upon time. Make sure your mentor has agreed to be contacted between meetings before you do so. They will appreciate that you asked and may be more willing to return your call or email quickly.

The bottom line advice I’d give you as a mentee is to be respectful. Your mentor will be respectful back and you will have a better chance of getting their assistance when you need it.

Who are you? Who are they? As a leader, it’s reasonable to consider the questions like these that may spark curiosity and an inquisitiveness to know more about yourself and others. Yet allow me to encourage this curiosity with a note of caution.

When you’ve decided “I am (name something)” with finality, it limits your own potential. When you’ve decided “They are (name something)” with finality, you limit others’ potential. Judging yourself and others in this way prevents positive forward movement from occurring.

We need leaders who believe they and their staff can be more. When you put yourself and others into a box that irrevocably denies that there is more, you stop growth and development and ultimately prevent your organization from being phenomenal.

We are all capable of becoming so much more than we are currently.

Some of the best examples of potential come from the sports world, where world records have been surpassed; often by those who are limited in some way. Yet these people show us, over and over again that human potential is limitless, often breaking their own records. They said, “I can…..” and went on to prove it.

Tiger Woods was the youngest player to win the Masters. He won by 12 strokes in 1997.

Serena Williams is a 13-time Grand Slam winner with two Olympic medals who earns more than any other female in sports history.

Florence Griffith-Joyner ran a 100m world record of 10.49 in the quarter-finals of the US Olympic Trials. She had run 10.60 earlier in the day, which would have counted as a world record, were it not wind aided.

Paula Radcliffe is a marathoner who suffers from asthma. She has set numerous world records and she crusades against the use of performance enhancing drugs.

All of these people had potential (and drive!). All of them had someone in their life who believed they could do more. Some of them had limitations that could have kept them from breaking records if they allowed that to happen. So it is in the leadership world; the best leaders I know surpass their own expectations and they coach others in their organizations to do so as well. They believe that they and their followers have unlimited potential.

It makes sense to believe in what’s possible in yourself and in others. You, the organization you serve, and our world will be better off when we don’t believe that “I am…” or “They are…” in a way that imposes limits. Look for what’s possible in yourself and others instead.

Some of the leaders I know admit that they are a different person at home than they are at work. When I ask them to describe themselves in each place, I find that they describe a more genuine, heart-centered person at home. At work, they say they tend to be more reserved and cerebral.

Do you see yourself in this? I think this divided behavior is a shame. It must be a real stressor to put on a “work face” and a “home face”. Remember, stress is not a good thing – it wears on you both mentally and physically. Wouldn’t it be a great thing to be a integrated person who behaves the same wherever you are? What if you brought your heart to work?

Yes, work takes our brain. But too many of you are forgetting that it also takes your heart. You get caught up in the daily rush to get things done, and neglect the fact that you and your organization are made up of real live people who need you to show your humanity. That takes leading with your heart too. When you bring your heart to work, you’ll see your effectiveness increase because you:

are intentional about reaching out to others at work in a profound way to create strong, healthy, mutually beneficial relationships. The old saying that “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care” applies here. A genuine interest in others’ work as well as a personal attention to what they care about will make work more enjoyable and productive for everyone. Yes, I know it’s hard and I know that there is a fine line that you don’t cross – you don’t have to be everyone’s best friend. But you do need to make the effort to reach out and show that you care about them as human beings if you want to be a successful leader.

show that there is more to you than your brain and that you are a human being like they are who has a heart too. I remember a boss I had who went out of his way to help his administrative assistant when her teenage son had died unexpectedly. He didn’t tell anyone what he had done for her and her family. Her telling of the story of his involvement made me respect him and know that he was more than my boss. I began to see him as a real, live human being who did more than lead our team with his rational left brain. I, and my teammates, softened considerably toward him, and the workplace became more pleasant as he relaxed into using his heart more too.

create important bonds that engender trust in you. When others see you as a real, live human being with a head AND a heart, there is a bond there that encourages others to trust you. You seem more like them – more human. By reaching out to them, showing some vulnerability, caring for the welfare of others, and apologizing for your mistakes, you become trustworthy. Think about it; isn’t that how you behave outside of the workplace? Isn’t that what you expect others to do for you?

Your heart – don’t leave home without it.

Every Thursday, we provide you with a thoughtful way to coach yourself – something all leaders need to do. I’ve been featuring a series of quotes from my favorite writers and bloggers on the topic of leadership. Tanveer Naseer, featured today, is a business coach and an “all around nice guy” who writes compelling advice and thoughtful posts on leadership. I hope you’ll stop over to his blog and consider subscribing.

So take five and enjoy Tanveer’s quote and reflect on the questions that follow. Your comments and answers to the questions are always welcome!

As leaders, one of the most effective ways we can facilitate and encourage our employees to reach their full potential is by empowering them to not only see that they can come up with viable solutions to the problems they’re facing, but by showing them that we’ll provide them with the necessary resources and support to implement their ideas. ~Tanveer Naseer

• Who needs your encouragement to reach your full potential?
  
• What are the key questions you need to ask them to assist in their ability to come up with the solution to a problem they face?
  
• How will you support them?

“Relationship” is a word that we are hearing more about in the workplace to designate positive personal connections with our colleagues. Although expressing emotions at work is still considered unacceptable in most workplaces, positive emotions have an impact on the quality of relationships at work and ultimately, the work that gets done. Its wonderful when the good feelings that we experience when we are “connected” and a part of the lives of those around us at work are acknowledged.

As a leader, you swim in emotions and relationships daily without thinking about how important they are to your ability to lead – and more importantly, to the bottom line. When you see that it’s okay to recognize and express the feelings you have for those who follow you, you’ll also see a positive impact to the work of your organization.

It takes effort to change your workplace into one that has healthy relationships. It begins with your reaching out, listening to people, asking and accepting their opinions; you can read more about what it takes in almost any of my posts.

Yet how do you know that you are being effective? Here are some things you would see in a workplace with healthy relationships:

Followers are willing to do what needs to be done: Whining and complaining about the work don’t exist. The people you lead are following willingly and joyfully.

Positive attitudes: Positivity prevails. There is a “can do” attitude. The workplace is alive with people who see possibility and work toward goals happily.

You’ll hear good news and bad news: People are willing to come forward with any news, even if it isn’t positive. They know that it is important to let you know exactly what you need to hear.

Climbing back up on the horse: Failure happens. You and your employees are willing to accept their role in failure without blaming others, and they get back up to try again.

Focus on the right things: People around you aren’t heading in the wrong direction. They know the outcomes expected, and are heading right at them.

Give and take without expecting something in return: Employees readily share their knowledge and skills with each other, without expectation of getting something in return.

Development is a part of the culture: Leaders are coaching their staff and openly asking for feedback to get better at what they do. Staff readily accepts responsibility to find ways to develop themselves.

Praise and recognition is given regularly: Yes, critical feedback is essential, and is given without reservation. But there is also a greater focus on providing praise and recognition for what’s being done well.

Conflict is dealt with in a positive way: Employees recognize that conflict is a normal way of life and that healthy conflict is good for the workplace. Innovation and creativity increase as conflict is seen as a positive influence.

What have you noticed about workplaces with healthy relationships?

One day as I worked as a young researcher in laboratory, a colleague walked in with some photos. Her team had been involved in drug trials in humans of a certain blood pressure (vasodilator) medicine. The photos showed children who had high blood pressure that couldn’t be treated with other blood pressure medications. When the children took the medicine over time, someone became aware that they unexpectedly grew hair all over their bodies – and these photos showed very hairy children.

That was the start of Rogaine, the drug that grows hair on balding heads. Although it was tragic that those children grew unwanted hair (but it was reversible when the drug was withdrawn), it was a mistake that (literally) grew into money for the company I worked for. The bad news for consumers is that once someone starts using it, they can’t stop (unless they want the hair they’ve grown to fall out). However, this is good news for the manufacturer, as they have potential lifelong customers.

Rogaine began as a mistake. When the photos were first circulated with some hint that the company may market the active ingredient as a cure for baldness, even the employees made jokes about how ridiculous that idea was. Yet the leader who championed this cause persisted. And Rogaine is still being sold – decades after that unusual discovery of “unwanted hair”.

This story, odd as it may be, is a story of noticing potential and exhibiting courage in the face of naysayers – even in the mistakes that are made.

Noticing potential and having courage in the face of adversity can be most profound when you apply it to the people you lead:

Notice who is struggling in your organization. Who is making mistakes? Often, just spending some time listening to them, asking about their passions and skills will be enough to lift them up and realize their own potential. Too often, the attitude is “sink or swim”, but I am continually moved by the stories of great leaders who were able to see the potential in someone and help them overcome the struggles in their current situation.

Find out what they need to be successful. How can you help? Ask them and then coach them. Good people are hard to find, and letting them struggle to the point of going on performance warning is not always the best answer. You may find gold in that person if you are willing to work to discover it. You might be able to help them to alter their work in a way that is more satisfying and in keeping with their strengths, or you may find that there is another job in your organization that suits them better.

Champion them to the naysayers There may be plenty of people in the organization who don’t believe that those who’ve made mistakes also have potential. Respond to them with stories about the positives you see, and continue to help the strugglers to reach their highest potential. At some point, others will notice their strengths too.

Sometimes, those who are struggling in your organization just require some positive attention and coaching from you. Give it, and watch them reach their potential!

More years ago than I care to count, I attended a corporate program by an efficiency consultant who is now very well known. He was teaching us to set personal and career goals, at the time a concept that was something new to me.

He facilitated a session where we were mind mapping (also a new concept to me) our desired future. It was fun and engaging, since at that point, I really had spent most of my time reacting to life rather than doing any actual planning.

Fast forward to ten years ago when I was starting my business. I’m attending a year-long intensive program on personal transformation. A small group of people who were interested in moving their head, hearts, and spirits ahead in an intentional way met quarterly at a retreat location to prepare for our lives of the future in a deeper, more spiritual way. One of our homework assignments between retreat sessions included writing about a day in our life at the point at which goals were achieved and joy abounds.

In both cases, intentions were set. In both cases, I put the documents away after crafting them. I didn’t review them again until several years later, although the things I’d written down were ever-present in my mind and my heart (what gets written down gets done, after all). And most amazingly, in both cases the documents fully described my life all of those years later as I read through them. It was a wonderful surprise and a lesson in setting intentions.

How to start planning your life/career

These were both creative exercises that helped me to become unstuck from what I knew at that time to imagining a future that I wanted, at a time when I needed to have some solid ground to walk on and with a small investment of time that provided great returns. My favorite exercise, and one I use with my clients, is the second one, which I call “A Day in My Life”. Maybe it will help you too, so here is a brief description:

Describe a day in your life as you desire it to be at some point in the future. For some people, this may be a methodical narrative – starting with getting out of bed and going through your perfect day until you lay your head back down on a pillow. For others, it may be bullet points, and for others less methodical. The point is to write it down in your own less than perfect way and describe it as if you were in that moment, in present tense.

Go beyond descriptions of what you are doing as you describe your day. Where are you and what are you doing? What emotions are you feeling? How are you behaving? How do others see you? How do they interact with you? Who is helping you? What do you want more of? What does your environment look like? Describe these things and write them down.

Share your narrative with someone you trust. And then put it away. Sharing it will help to further engage your brain around your future day, and putting it away and marking your calendar for the point in the future in which you believe you can achieve this perfect day will help you remember to re-read it. Be amazed as you read.

What does your desired future look like?

Leaders are emotionally strong. They don’t express any feelings that might imply that they have weaknesses. This includes any hint of a desire to want to be liked by others. Never, ever, let your guard down in case someone might take advantage of you.

Wrong.

There are misconceptions about leadership and likeability. When I hear a leader tell me that they are a different person at home than they are at work (a common statement), I wonder if they are hiding a side of them that may be more engaging and wonderful – and thus more effective at work.

Think back to the leaders in your life who you’ve worked the hardest for; those leaders whom you respected and (dare I say it?) liked. These leaders engaged your mind and your heart. They could be liked while still being tough and getting results. In fact, their likability made their hardest tasks easier because you (and others) wanted to do your best for that person.

I offer you a “both-and” proposition. You can be an effective leader and you can be liked. A leader who wants to be liked tries harder to:

Be respectful of others. This means you act with civility and you treat others with the dignity and honor that they deserve. You try harder to be aware of your impact – both good and harmful – on others. You observe your actions in the moment, and you reflect on them later, correcting mistakes you’ve made that may be hurtful. You monitor your behavior for immoral or unethical conduct.

Exhibit compassion when it’s called for. Our workplaces swirl with emotions daily, yet we deny or hide them, often to the detriment of achieving results. Watch for those who need your compassion and find ways to help them or just listen. When others are suffering, ask what you can do. You don’t have to “help” all the time; sometimes simply listening is enough.

Treat people as individuals whenever you can. Our organizations are system marvels, yet people cannot be systemized. They long to be seen and cared for as individuals who are complex, talented human beings. Look for and celebrate the unique attributes of those around you and let them know the specific character traits you appreciate about them. Give them a chance to use and express their strengths at work or help them to find new work that will allow them to be at their best.

The word “authentic leadership” has been maligned and overused, but this is what best describes the great leaders who are able to bring their whole selves to work. Striving to be liked can be a great way to enhance the way you lead.

Every Thursday, we provide you with a thoughtful way to coach yourself – something all leaders need to do. I was thrilled when I learned that Jennifer Miller (whom I met through blogging and Twitter lives and works about an hour away from me. We were able to meet in person soon thereafter. I love her blog on workplace dynamics which often touches on some of the same topics I write about. Jennifer is insightful and an experienced consultant – as well as a great writer. So take five and enjoy Jennifer’s quote and reflect on the questions that follow. Your comments and answers to the questions are always welcome!

“Don’t be a blasé leader.” Jennifer V. Miller

•    What are you passionate about in your organization, your job, and your leadership?

•    Do your followers know of your passion? Is it important for them to see know what you are excited about?

• How will you show your enthusiasm?