Archive for the ‘relationships’ Category

You`ve made your New Year resolutions. You`ve set some goals and created your personal/professional action plan. What`s missing? I often find that goals and objectives are only about completing tasks. A leader’s relationships need to be attended to as well, and it is rare that these are part of their goals.

People want to follow a leader that they respect and trust. It is satisfying for followers to get “things” done. But they depend on you to communicate and steer them in the right direction. And you can`t do this without exceptional communication and great relationships.

Intuitively, we know that relationships are key to leadership. When our workplace relationships are healthy, our organizations flourish, work becomes “flow” and creativity abounds!

Although research into the effect of workplace relationships on the bottom line is scant, I think we`ll see more of it. My prediction is that as more research is done, we`ll see that strong, healthy relationships are a key element in sustainable leadership and sustainable organizations.

Don`t wait until the research is out. Consider including some workplace relationship goals as part of your 2010 goals. Some ideas to get you started:

• What workplace relationships do you need to consider? Consider your manager, your peers, your employees, your clients and customers. If you are leading a public organization, consider the taxpaying public.
• Which of these relationships need to be nourished? Like our children and our gardens, our relationships at work need tending. Which relationships do you need to pay more attention to? What will you stop doing, delegate, or re-prioritize in order to make the tending of relationships a priority?
• What will strong, healthy workplace relationships look like to you? Spend some valuable time reflecting on what great workplace relationships will look like for you. What will you be doing differently when those relationships are fully nourished? What will your manager, peers, employees and organization be doing differently? What bottom-line benefits will be realized?
• What specific goals do you want to set for specific relationships? Consider individuals, teams, networks you belong to. What would you like to change about how you relate to these? How will you make the personal changes needed? For each ?€“ what is a first step you can take? What is the next step? How will you stay accountable to the changes? What will prevent you from reaching your goals?

What has worked for you in strengthening your workplace relationships?

As a leader you are the role model. Set some goals for your relationships at work that will assure they are healthy and strong, and watch others follow your lead to help create a great place to work.

Last year, when I had 3 or 4 readers for this blog , I published a Leadership Wish List for 2009. Most of you haven’t seen it. And, most of my wishes remain unfulfilled, but I’m quite patient. So, I’ve updated it a bit, adding some new thoughts and reposting. What would you add?

1. For leaders to slow down and be intentional about the work they do. Being swept away by “busy-ness” can be responsible for poor decisions. Reflection time, journaling, prayer, meditation ?€“ whatever ?€“ are the stuff behind the building of great leadership.

2. For followers to take an active stand against leaders who use their power to advance themselves to the detriment of the “greater good”. Followers create leaders, and get what they vote for, agree to, and follow. Its time to consider the the role we all play in ineffective and unethical leadership.

3. For leaders to “get” that they must listen, ask, delegate, empower, develop others. How different it would be if all leaders just chose one of these to add to their leadership skills (how cool would it be if we all listened more?).

4. For leaders to understand that when they do the stuff in #3, they don`t have to work so hard, and that they can focus on doing the things that will make them great (developing and communicating a vision, influencing others, etc.). Amazing stuff, that list in #3. Try it, and consider what you will do with your free time.

5. For leaders to get into the regular habit of requesting feedback from others. And then listening without judgment to the feedback, saying “thank you” and deciding whether to take action on it. Even if the feedback received is less than fully honest (not unusual), it shows others that a leader is willing to improve.

6. For the “tipping point” that is needed for all leaders to realize that they must stop micro-managing the tasks and become facilitators of process. In other words, let go of the need and the act of control. Hire and lead the right people, and stop trying to make them do things your way.

7. For organizations to focus their development efforts and dollars on their best leaders. Even in these times, organizations are throwing their training dollars around and allowing anyone to tap into them. Focus those dollars on the few who are already great (but want to get greater) and notice the amazing effect it has on business.

8. For leaders to truly embrace the concepts of “work-life” balance, not just with their talk, but with their actions. Horror stories abound of long-term “required” twelve or fourteen hour days. A leader will get the most out of people if you trust them to “get the work done” and encourage them to assure they are “balanced” between work and other activities. And?€¦.how about modeling balance yourself?

9. For leaders to learn to listen to themselves. To stop and listen to that little voice that lets them know when they are on the right track (or off the track).

10. For the press to concentrate on writing about leaders that are doing the right things. How uplifting and inspiring to hear stories about good leadership! I know they`re out there! I`ve met them, you`ve met them, and they are the quiet ones we don`t hear about that are changing lives.

11. For the word “leader” to be reserved only for those who are working for the greater good. Unethical and immoral leaders who abuse the power they’ve been given don’t deserve the title of “leader”. Those who follow and support evil leaders should remember their responsibilities too – see #2 above.

12. For organizations to start supporting and promoting the leaders who get the “people stuff”: promoting those who have been successful only on the basis of their knowledge and achievement isn’t doing our organizations any good. Leaders must have the “soft skills” as well as be knowledgable and results-oriented.

How about you? What are your “leadership wishes” for 2010?

I have a wise friend who has been a community and business leader for a while. She is currently running a successful nonprofit. Even though I`ve known her for a fraction of her working life, I`m sure that she`s had a career full of success.

There are many reasons for her successes, including hard work, deep dedication, a purpose, vision, and passion for what she does. But there is one other, perhaps the most important ?€“ she has always believed in the potential of her employees. How do I know this?

A simple, profound truth

Because of something she said to me recently with great conviction:

“I`m quite certain that most employees don`t come to work to do a poor job.”

I wrote it down, because it was such a profound, simple truth. It also happens to be a truth that all leaders should embrace.

What this tells me

What this tells me is that she has made a habit of believing the best in those she leads. She has coached the ones who are falling behind and is willing to put in the time and effort to help them step up to someplace greater than the spot they are in.

It tells me that she starts from a place of knowing that, with some effort and dedication, those who follow her will find that they are capable of so much more than they are doing.

It tells me that when these employees make a mistake, she is willing to see it as a learning opportunity. She knows that they will do better the next time.

It tells me that those she is leading they are lucky to have her in their lives. She sees that there is great potential waiting to be unleashed in them.

It tells me that, instead of coming from a place of assuming the worst in others, she assumes the best, and she is ready to watch possibility unfold in that direction.

I`ll bet she`s seldom disappointed.

The previous post walked you through how to ask for and receive feedback. You`ve asked for it, you`ve received it with grace, and now – what do you do with it?

You have two choices.

The first is to reject it. You may not agree with what you heard. Why act on something you disagree with? After all, it`s an opinion. However, tread lightly here. Give this feedback some time to settle ?€“ you may find some truth in it and decide differently later. Check out your tendency to reject the feedback with someone you trust.

The second is to decide to do something about it. What actions will you take? Some ideas:

• Gain clarity around the feedback you`ve received. You can return to the original feedback-giver and ask additional questions. Ask others you trust for their input, too.
• Consider actions you`ll take. For some, talking it with a mentor, advisor or coach helps. Thinking out loud and asking for advice on the actions to be taken can be helpful. For others, journaling and reflecting on what you heard and the actions you can take are preferable.
• Find a way to stay accountable as you take action. Although many are self-motivated, others of us may need the structure of “reporting in” to someone on a regular basis as we work our way through. Writing it down, in the form of an action plan, can help to solidify your intent (sharing the plan is even better!).
• Ask for help from your staff, manager, and peers. Let them know what you are working on, and request that they assist in some way: ask them to let you know when you have strayed from your path or when you are following it.
• Adjust as necessary. Continue asking for feedback, and adjust your action accordingly, until it fits just right for you.

As I look back on what I’ve written above, there seems to be a theme: the power of a support structure of trusted advisors cannot be underestimated! What have you found to be useful in taking action on feedback?

Warning: part of this post may bring up unpleasant thoughts of gore. Ignore them, and enjoy the warm fuzzy feelings you get as you remember some of the best relationships you`ve formed in times of adversity at work.

Do you need to wait to block off time for an “off site” or a “team lunch” to spend time developing relationships with your team? Don`t wait!

When I first stepped out of college with a degree in biology, I was hired by a large pharmaceutical company to do research in a laboratory. This laboratory was screening for anti-atherosclerosis drugs in quail (this bird mimics human atherosclerosis development closely). However, I was brought in to do solo research to screen for anti-obesity drugs in laboratory rats. Much of the time I worked on my own.

Work Can be Lonely

I am an extrovert who gets her energy through interaction with people (not rats). Although I shared an office with the Ph.D. who ran the laboratory, he was an introvert who preferred to stick to himself most of the time. The solo work left me hungry for human contact.

Little did I know that I would enjoy the human contact on Quail Tuesdays as much as I did. Our laboratory and the one next door would gather first thing that morning to collect blood and dissect arteries in quail (yes, birds!) who had been on a high-cholesterol diet and dosed with drugs that might eventually combat atherosclerosis in humans. This was unpleasant work at best for a biologist who is also an animal lover. I may have been just as happy to sit Tuesdays out.

However, the unpleasant activity of dissecting quail provided the chance to sit around a table with the other biologists and have casual conversations. The work was routine, but requiring many hands to get it done, so we were able to talk and learn about each other while we worked.

The science of our work was also a topic, making Quail Tuesdays a team learning activity. I learned to love Quail Day and couldn`t wait to get to work on Tuesdays for the opportunity to learn about my colleagues as well as to learn what they knew about the science of atherosclerosis!

Developing Relationships Helps with the Work

If it weren`t for Quail Tuesdays, I wouldn`t have known the people I was working side by side on a personal level. Those days also provided us with an important connection to the work and what it could eventually mean to thousands if we discovered THE drug (we didn`t, but it was a great dream that we often discussed).

Intuitively, I knew that Quail Tuesdays were important to the overall productivity of our laboratory. Interpersonal connections are similarly important to any organization`s productivity.

In these times when your staff may be working harder and longer, good relationships and connections can make the work easier. Conversations are a part of what makes work life enjoyable and productive. What are you doing to foster great relationships in your workplace? What could you be doing that could be done together as a team, allowing time for the relationships to develop?

• the employee who just doesn’t “fit in”
• the areas of disagreement with other departments
• the customers who just can’t understand the products or services

Mr. Isaac states that we must look for coherence first – before we make judgments. This is the art of appreciating the whole, that helps us to learn to inquire into what is, not to constantly produce what we think should be. This kind of wholistic thinking also helps us to see that all of these individuals are a part of our world, and the way they see things makes sense for them – and possibly us as well.

This kind wholistic thinking has the potential to change a divisive situation into curiousity. When a leader follows their curiousity by using inquiry, the possibiliy of creating solutions that are bigger, better, and more collaborative.

When you feel those judgments (“violent thoughts”) bubbling up, be curious:

• How are these “different” ideas part of a larger whole?
• How might these ideas serve? What benefit can be derived for my leadership and our organization?

With deliberation and discipline, turning “violent” thoughts into inquiry as a way of opening up to differences can be the beginning of the innovation that most organizations seek today.

I am delighted but not surprised at today’s guest post written by Rick Chambers; it reflects what I know about him well. Rick has been a long-time colleague and friend, and one of the most insightful and generous people on the planet. You will see his fine character shining right through his writing. He’s also a humble leader and will, no doubt, be embarassed at my saying these (true) things about him.

Rick is a director of Worldwide Communications for a Fortune 500 who has worked in the public relations field for more than 22 years. An award winning journalist, he is also a published author and an award-winning short-story writer. Rick is a native of Kalamazoo, Michigan. You can find out more about him on his LinkedIn profile.

Orville was a generous, engaging man, quick with a smile, a firm handshake and a boisterous greeting. I rarely saw him in casual attire and never in a foul mood.

Knowing all this made it much tougher to see him on his deathbed.

On one of my last visits with Orville, I took my teenage son along. As you might imagine, forcing him to give up an hour of video games for an hour with a dying old man did not earn me “Dad of the Year” honors. But along he went, surly attitude and all.

The welcome we received at Orville`s bedside was unexpected. Rather than a weak wave and a gasped “hello,” he nearly came out of his bed. His voice was as strong as ever, his smile just as bright. Within minutes, he had my son sitting on the edge of the bed, hand on his arm, listening to the boy`s hopes and dreams and encouraging their pursuit.

On the drive home, the surliness was gone. My son spoke with enthusiasm about the visit. I sensed, as dads sometimes do, a teaching moment.

“What you did tonight,” I said, “meant the world to a man whose life is ending. And what did it cost you? Nothing.”

I believe that experience offers insight for leaders.

Leadership is many things. It`s visionary. It`s administrative. It`s intellectual. It`s determined. It`s steady-minded. It`s focused. It`s performance-oriented. And on and on.

But what some leaders don`t think about often enough are elements like compassion. And sacrifice. And charity?€”not in the modern sense, as in writing a check to your local nonprofit, but in its ancient meaning, that of embracing the value of others and basing your life and behavior on it. (The word for “love” in I Corinthians 13, that favored biblical passage at weddings, was originally rendered as “charity.”) In short, it`s about living and behaving with the needs of others lifted above your own.

When a colleague interrupts my work to share a personal concern, what does it cost me to stop and listen? When a co-worker faces job loss, what does it cost me to sympathize and encourage her? When someone down the hall makes a big mistake, what does it cost me to gently point it out, suggest an alternative and accept an honest apology? What does it cost me to treat others as I want to be treated, even in the face of my own flaws and failings?

Nothing.

So I encourage you, as leaders, to do nothing, too. Watch the profound difference it makes in the lives of others?€”and in yours.

Empathy is an important trait for leaders to have, important enough that it is one of the competencies on the LEA 360, the survey that I use. It was one of the things that drew me to becoming certified in this survey. Empathy is dismissed in the work world, but is key for leaders be able to have and express. In fact, a recent Towers Perrin survey of 90,000 worldwide employees featured and summarized by my friend Steve Roesler, showed that the #1 thing that employees want at work is to believe that senior managerment cares about them.

Leaders may find empathy to be one of the most difficult competencies to increase, and I have had my share of clients who could use a little (or more) dose of empathy. These leaders are often the ones who have hit a brick wall with their leadership – they know how to get the work done, but they are pushing too hard uphill. Often technically brilliant, some of them have been able to thrive by being visionary, goal oriented, loyal, and driven. But at some point in their career,a lack of empathy (and often other interpersonal skills) catches up to them.

I like what the resource guide for the LEA 360 has to say about some of the ways to increase empathy:

• Draw on your own past experiences. We all use empathy in different parts of our life. Learning to transfer this empathy to your work setting may help.
• Make it personal. Put yourself in other’s shoes and show an active – and real – concern, while rising above your private agenda and entering their world.
• Volunteer. Find an activity where you can volunteer to work with those in need.
• Show up and chat with the people in your organization – especially if you are a senior leader, and they are several levels below your level in the organization.
• Understand the pressure and emotional risks people in your organization face every day (i.e., salespeople getting the door slammed in their faces). Provide them with support.
• Ask people how they want to be supported.

And one of my own: some of my clients have found that deep listening (the “Level III” kind: listening beyond the words, intuiting, observing body language and emotions) can really help to increase understanding and empathy.

What has worked for you?

A previous post about extraverted leaders explores some of theory behind Extraversion and Introversion. In brief, an extravert prefers to orient attention on the outside world ?€“ people and activity. An introvert prefers an orientation of the inner world ?€“ reflection and thoughts. In both cases, this is where people with that preference get energy. For instance, an extravert may feel energized after a party; an introvert may feel drained.

A minority of Americans are introverted ?€“ 40%. According to Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D., a workplace and careers expert and author of “The Introverted Leader: Building on Your Quiet Strength“, that is also the percentage of introverts that we would expect in positions of leadership in organizations.

It is surprising to some, even the introverts themselves, that introverts can be leaders. Introverts bring great gifts to the world of leadership. I`ve also observed some behaviors in introverted leaders I`ve worked with that they should take notice of, which may detract from effective leadership as well.

Gifts of the introverted leader:

• Provides well thought out strategies and decisions
• Exhibits calm in the midst of calamity
• Focuses on what matters to them with great determination
• Enjoys listening to others

You can see that these strengths can be of great value in our organizations and communities. However, the introverts themselves often feel as if they don`t fit in; with some justification, since our organizations and communities tend to be largely extraverted by nature.

There may be some traits in introverted leaders that bear caution. If you identify with being an introverted leader, you might want to take notice of some of the cautions below, as they are the traits that can possibly cause trouble for you. I`ve included ways to mitigate the behaviors as well.

Introverted leaders:

Can be underestimated when they don`t allow their voice to be heard: Your opinions and thoughts are important to the conversation. If you are unable to give them the proper thought in the moment, request permission to offer your opinions later, after you`ve had time to deliberate and think them through.

May not recognize the importance of connections and relationships in the workplace: Recognize that leadership is fundamentally relational, and if you aren`t out being seen and heard, your followers will make up their own theories and stories about you and what you are thinking. Schedule the time to get out and be seen, and build the relationships you need to grow a network of support.

Might not provide the detail behind their decisions: Because introverts do so much of their thinking by reflecting rather than speaking, there can be a perception that the decisions they make aren`t as well thought out as they really are. Your followers need to know what goes into your thought process. You might consider journaling the detail of your thoughts and practice saying them so that the people who need to hear them can understand the entire picture.

Can become stressed when they don`t pay attention to their need for time alone: Pay attention to the physical symptoms that indicate that you are draining your energy and not recharging your batteries. Finding strategies that help you to maintain this balance are important to avoid stress-induced illness. For many introverts, actually scheduling solitary activities or hobbies into their calendar may be helpful.

Introverted leaders, I wish you the joy of knowing the strengths you bring to your organization and community as well as the full understanding of the cautions that may be barriers to fully using them.

Note: I am far, far away on vacation this week, and without access to technology. So, I thought I’d pre-schedule a piece I’d written before I got serious about blogging (i.e. when nobody was reading my posts) for my “Leadership” column in West Michigan Business Review (copyright 2008, West Michigan Business Review. Used with permission).