Archive for the ‘relationships’ Category

I know this post is longer than is typical for this blog. Trust me, it will be worth the time you spend reading it. I came to know Erika Andersen through my friend, colleague and mentor, Wally Bock, who had an intuition that Erika and I would have a few things in common. We do. One of those is her wonderful book, Being Strategic, which Wally reviewed here.  Erika defines and explains “being strategic” in one of the most simple – but effective – ways I’ve ever seen.

Erika is the founding partner of Proteus International, a coaching, consulting, and training firm that helps organizations clarify and move toward their hoped-for future. Oh, and she’s a genuinely smart and wonderful person, too.

What does “being strategic” mean?

I love that you’re asking this.  One of the reasons I wrote Being Strategic was to attempt to resolve some of the confusion around that phrase.  People use it so much – and rarely explain what they mean by it.  People use it to mean everything from “considering the competition,” to “thinking long-term,” to “being manipulative and cold-hearted,” to “agreeing with me!”

The definition I offer in my book for “being strategic” is: consistently focusing on those core directional choices that will best move you toward your hoped-for future.  It’s a deceptively simple sentence – there’s a lot in there.  It assumes that you know where you’re starting from, where you’re trying to go, and how you’re going to get there – and that you keep your attention directed toward doing it.

I’ve observed over the years that the best leaders – those who are most consistently successful in creating organizations that thrive – have and exercise this capability.  They get very clear about the organization’s current state – both strengths and weaknesses – and then, based on that starting point, they envision and articulate a clear and compelling future. They select a handful of core directional efforts – strategies –that they believe will best move them toward that future, and decide tactics for implementing those strategies. And then they stay consistently focused (and keep their organization consistently focused) on using those strategies to move toward the future they’ve envisioned.

How can “being strategic” be applied to the workplace relationships leaders must create or sustain?

Excellent, authentic relationships are essential if leaders are to be truly strategic.  Even if a leader is skilled at both strategic thought and action, he or she needs to be operating within a web of strong relationships in order for that capability to have an impact organization-wide.

Here’s why: I’ve often seen truly brilliant leaders who have a clear strategic view of their organization and a well-defined strategic plan for getting the future they envision – but who lack strong relationships, especially with those who work directly for him or her.  Those organizations tend to do less well than you’d expect: the leaders’ vision and strategy don’t “translate” into the day-to-day, because the rest of the organization doesn’t understand or own it, and therefore isn’t committed to making it happen.

The process of being strategic, as we practice, facilitate and teach it in organizations, is essentially collaborative.  It works best when you work together as a team to define the challenge, clarify your current state, envision your hoped-for future, agree on the obstacles to achieving that vision – and then determine the strategies and tactics that will get you there.  No one person can see clearly enough to do all those things for a whole organization – or even a whole department.  And human beings are most committed to accomplishing those things they’ve helped to define.

Why do strategies fail? Why do they succeed?

Strategies fail for lots of reasons.  One of the most common is that strategies are, all too often, not created to move toward a defined future, but simply in response to a threat.  For example, in the early eighties, Pepsi had a strategy of “winning on cost.” It was how they thought they’d take market share from Coke, which at the time was beating them in most domestic markets.  Unfortunately, that strategy wasn’t linked to a clear vision (other than “kill Coke”), so they made some sales decisions that weren’t sustainable, in terms of impact on long-term profitability.

Here’s another one, which sounds weirdly obvious and avoidable, but I see it happening every day: strategies fail (even good strategies) when organizations stop focusing on implementing them.  And that very often happens in hard economic times.  One of our clients is in danger of this right now: they’re in the process of abandoning a strategy that’s key to their vision, and that has served them very well for a number of years, because they think it’s too expensive. (We’re trying to help, but they’re in panic mode, and that makes it hard to think clearly.)

Strategies succeed when (no surprise here, given what I’ve said so far!) key people in the organization work together to select strategies that will best move them toward their agree-upon future…and then consistently focus on implementing those strategies with tactics that are feasible, impactful and timely.

What are the most important elements of strategic thinking?

Let me answer that question in two ways.  First, there’s the process of thinking strategically, which I describe as a mental model that consists of a “pre-step” and then four steps. 

The pre-step we call “defining the challenge.”  It consists of getting clear about the problem that you’re currently trying to solve – which can be as broad as “How can we create a sustainably profitable organization that provides unique value to our customers?” or as finely focused as “How can I make sure my number two person is ready to step into my role when I get promoted?”

Once you’re clear on the challenge before you, whatever it may be, the steps of strategic thinking are simple (though not necessarily easy). They are:

-        “What is”: your current reality relative to your challenge;

-        “What’s the Hope?”: your hoped-for future, the one in which your challenge has been successfully addressed;

-        “What’s in the Way?”: the obstacle between where you are now and where you want to go;

-        “What’s the Path?”: the strategies and then tactics that will best take you from where you are to where you want to go,  while overcoming the obstacles.

Then there are the actual skills for being strategic:  becoming a fair witness, pulling back the camera, and sorting for impact.  You employ these mental skills throughout the steps outlined above.

Becoming a fair witness means getting as neutral and objective as possible about the situation.  This is especially important when you have a strong emotional investment in a particular outcome – it’s all too easy to lose your objectivity about your current reality, or what’s possible.  My favorite example of non-fair-witnessing are the contestants on American Idol who literally cannot sing…and yet have convinced themselves that they’re going to win the competition!

Pulling back the camera means mentally “stepping back from the action” so you can get more context and get clearer about why things are happening and how they’re connected.  Quite often, when someone is told they’re “not being strategic” or are “too tactical,” it means others see them as only looking at things from a very narrow, close-in frame: staying focused only on their own actions, needs and point of view.  Good strategic thinkers “pull back the camera” to look more broadly at the factors that might be impacting the current situation, or where it might be possible to take the organization, given the landscape surrounding it.

Sorting for impact means thinking about how much a particular fact, circumstance or event is going to affect your challenge.  So, as you stay in fair witness mode and pull back the camera, you “screen” the data that comes into your viewfinder against your challenge, asking, “How important is this to the problem I’m trying to solve?”  Sometimes the answer isn’t entirely clear – but far more often than not, it is…and doing this “sorting” process helps you stay focused on the things that are most essential to your success in the challenge you’re addressing.

Then you put it all together, using these three skills as you move through the model.  It may sound complex, but once you get the hang of it, it starts to feel pretty natural.

And that, for me, is the most exciting thing about being strategic – that it’s learnable. Most people talk about being strategic as though it’s something you’re born with, or not.  And too bad for you if you’re not!  But we’ve seen over the years, in teaching people to us these skills and this process, that almost everyone can improve their ability to be strategic – and thereby increase the likelihood of creating the business, the  career or the life they most want.

I love to watch Cesar Millan’s “The Dog Whisperer” program on TV. I am a dog lover and currently share an office and home with Edgar the Leadership Pug, who is wise beyond his pug-ness about how to lead his human pack. My husband and I have learned a thing or two from Edgar and Cesar’s show in order to take pack leadership back into our hands, where it belongs.

Cesar’s skill is not only the work he does with the dogs. His true gifts are in teaching the dog’s owners that well behaved canines are really about the owner’s willingness and ability to step up to being a (pack) leader. The lessons he teaches are insightful for any leader.

Note: I don’t intend this post to compare leaders and employees to dogs, but rather to emphasize that the lessons of leadership can be learned in a variety of ways. If you are a dog lover (and maybe even if you aren’t) you can learn a lot from Cesar.

Some of the leadership lessons Cesar teaches us humans:

In order to lead your dog well, you must understand how they want to be treated: Cesar shows that the best trained dogs are treated as – well, a dog would want to be treated if they were part of a pack. As an organizational leader, it is important that you get to know your people. What are their strengths? How do they want to use them? How can you best lead them?

Clearly communicate your rules, boundaries and limitations: Communicating with our canine friends is not easy, but it must be clear and in their “language”. Similarly, followers are looking for clarity in your expectations. Find a way to communicate them simply and well. Then repeat your expectations in as many ways possible.

Use calm, assertive energy: Cesar teaches humans that screaming, yelling and anger only serve to escalate the energy of the dog to that level; they are ineffective at best and can be destructive. Organizational leaders who use these techniques must also find a way to stop using these emotions that can be “caught” like viruses in the organizations they lead.

Imagine a successful scenario: Cesar works with humans to understand that their pets can, and do, change. Likewise, organizational leaders must believe that their employees have great potential and recognize when it is realized.

If you stay alert, you might find lessons in leadership where you least expect it. What are the unlikely places that you find leadership wisdom?

Most businesses are structured and controlled. There are processes to follow, strategies to set in motion, and bureaucracy to wade through. This structure can give us a false sense of control about the other stuff in our workplaces. Make no mistake. People cannot be controlled; in fact, they are downright unpredictable and messy, for a lot of very wonderful reasons. Leading people can be messy too.

When I work with my clients on new behaviors that will help them to impact and influence their workplaces, they can often get a false sense of the control that they are wielding over their employees. “Well, if I do this, then they will do that”, as in “If I become more inclusive and empowering, they will do what I want”.  It’s really not likely that you can predict precisely what others will do when you change how you manage and lead them..

Leadership is an art

Max DePree, in his classic leadership book,  had it right when he called leadership an art. People will not do what you want (exactly), they will do what they want (sort of) based on their strengths, gaps, skills, personality, the weather, the culture, their personal issues, their professional issues, what they think of you, what drives them, how they interpret the mission, what filters they turn on when you provide direction, how they feel, and what they had for lunch.

Whew. That is a lot to get in the way of having control over others. And it’s only the tip of the iceberg of the things that can effect a person’s ability to complete the work they way you want it completed.

Be willing to be surprised

So when you are making the changes in your behavior, you also have to be willing to be surprised and delighted. Let go of the belief that you have control over how others get things done. Rest assured that those who are inspired and motivated will do it their way – and their way may turn out to be amazing. Ask yourself instead:

• What new strengths do I see emerging in my team?
• Who is “flowering” under my new belief and willingness to let go of control?
• Who requires more guidance? How will I coach them?
• What is surprising me here? What is delighting me?

For all of their messiness, people sure can be amazing.

A big part of a leader`s ability to create and sustain great relationships in the workplace have to do with their ability to “just notice” other`s reactions. Jane Dutton from the University of Michigan has academically termed this “relational attentiveness” in her wonderful book, Energize Your Workplace.

Leaders who are attuned to the behavior and emotional states of those around them can make the adjustments necessary to revive an organization whose energy is low and needs some reviving to increase its effectiveness. Sagging spirits are an all-to-frequent occurance in today’s workplace.

Yet we are moving so fast, we don`t take the time to notice as we should. Look around. Are the people in your workplace connecting with each other? Are they energetic, enthusiastically diving into the challenges provide? Do they eagerly await the success they will have with new learning opportunities and stretch assignments? If not, you may have some work to do.

My experience

One of the best workplace experiences I had in my budding Human Resources career was in a role as a specialist in Corporate Compensation. This could be pretty bland (and sometimes, honestly, demoralizing) work, “sore-thumbing” job descriptions and determining the wages and bonuses of corporate officers who pocketed Christmas bonuses that were equal to many times my annual salary. (I remember someone asking me what I did in that job. I was ?€“ unusually ?€“ at a loss for words to describe it).

The manager of this business unit (perhaps a bit bored himself) would often rally the troops when our spirits sagged by encouraging some fun or arranging for us to go out to lunch. He was also a bit of a jokester himself, who allowed us to tease him, and play along, about his own failings. It allowed us to re-energize on a personal level with ourselves and with him.

The gift

This manager`s real gift was the ability to “just notice” when we needed to step out of our routine and enjoy the company of one another. He might be surprised to know that this is how I remember him and what I enjoyed ?€“ and learned ?€“ from his leadership.

His ability to react ?€“ and lead us beyond ?€“ our sagging spirits is a lesson for all leaders to “just notice”. Keep an open mind and heart in your workplace. Just notice when the energy of your team is low and requires your light touch to lift it up. Lead others with that lift and enjoy the energy it provides to you and your team!

What have you done to lift others when spirits sag?

Next week I’ll begin a new weekly feature at this site called “Thoughtful Thursday” where I will simply ask a few good old fashioned open-ended questions to make you reflect. No answers, just questions. You can choose to respond to the questions on this site – or just ponder. I’m looking forward to it.

The comments received on the previous post, “Bad Manager or Flawed Human?” were insightful and thought-provoking. I would like to thank everyone who took the time to express their passion about the subject. There is so much more to say. This post is my own follow up to the conversation in that post about “it won’t do any good to address the behavior of my manager”.

Many of us want to be able to turn to one another in our communities and workplaces with dialog that will further the healthy relationships that help us, our leaders and organizations, to grow. How can this happen if we don`t take some personal responsibility for addressing the behaviors of managers that harm us and ultimately destroy “the greater good”? By choosing to abstain from addressing this behavior, we benignly participate in the the unhappiness, if not the immorality, that we see around us.

Our responsibility transcends our fear

There is no reason for “feedack” conversations to be one-way (manager to employee). Just because we think it won’t change anything, is not the real reason. If we look beyond that excuse, we know the real reason is our fear. The structure and culture of our organizations have perpetuated this. Yet, our personal responsibility to take action must trancend our fear. Our workplaces cannot ever get healthy if we don’t begin the dialog with the offending manager.

I am not suggesting confrontation. I am suggesting dialog. This is a key distinction, because confrontation is grounded in anger. Dialog is grounded in our own passion for making our workplaces and our world a better place.

Why should we feel powerless to speak to our managers about their poor behavior? What is the worst that could happen?

Rejecting an opportunity to have a conversation with our managers about their poor behavior doesn`t change a thing. Having a dialog at least has a chance at catalyzing change.

Where to begin

So when you are tempted to complain or take a raincheck on the chance to initiate a difficult “feedback” conversation with your manager, ask yourself:

• What is my fear?
• What is my role in this situation?
• What is the most productive action I could take?
• Is there risk in taking that action?
• Even if there is risk, is there possibility that my willingness to address the situation will catalyze a change?
• What am I willing to do?
• How will I start?

Ask for permission to have the discussion with your manager (“May I offer you some suggestions?” ” Would you be willing to listen to some feedback?”). By starting the conversation this way, you are not offering unsolicited feedback ?€“ 99.99% will answer “yes”. This is where listening and growth begins because they are now accepting ownership for what you have to express. Then say it with kindness and respect because your manager is not a bad person. They are a flawed human just like you.

Yes, it`s hard. Yes, there is some risk. The potential benefits of your dialog outweigh the risks. This courageous conversation is your responsibility.

Note: I would also encourage you to watch Bret L. Simmon’s excellent video blog series on The Courageous Leader.

You`ve made your New Year resolutions. You`ve set some goals and created your personal/professional action plan. What`s missing? I often find that goals and objectives are only about completing tasks. A leader’s relationships need to be attended to as well, and it is rare that these are part of their goals.

People want to follow a leader that they respect and trust. It is satisfying for followers to get “things” done. But they depend on you to communicate and steer them in the right direction. And you can`t do this without exceptional communication and great relationships.

Intuitively, we know that relationships are key to leadership. When our workplace relationships are healthy, our organizations flourish, work becomes “flow” and creativity abounds!

Although research into the effect of workplace relationships on the bottom line is scant, I think we`ll see more of it. My prediction is that as more research is done, we`ll see that strong, healthy relationships are a key element in sustainable leadership and sustainable organizations.

Don`t wait until the research is out. Consider including some workplace relationship goals as part of your 2010 goals. Some ideas to get you started:

• What workplace relationships do you need to consider? Consider your manager, your peers, your employees, your clients and customers. If you are leading a public organization, consider the taxpaying public.
• Which of these relationships need to be nourished? Like our children and our gardens, our relationships at work need tending. Which relationships do you need to pay more attention to? What will you stop doing, delegate, or re-prioritize in order to make the tending of relationships a priority?
• What will strong, healthy workplace relationships look like to you? Spend some valuable time reflecting on what great workplace relationships will look like for you. What will you be doing differently when those relationships are fully nourished? What will your manager, peers, employees and organization be doing differently? What bottom-line benefits will be realized?
• What specific goals do you want to set for specific relationships? Consider individuals, teams, networks you belong to. What would you like to change about how you relate to these? How will you make the personal changes needed? For each ?€“ what is a first step you can take? What is the next step? How will you stay accountable to the changes? What will prevent you from reaching your goals?

What has worked for you in strengthening your workplace relationships?

As a leader you are the role model. Set some goals for your relationships at work that will assure they are healthy and strong, and watch others follow your lead to help create a great place to work.

Last year, when I had 3 or 4 readers for this blog , I published a Leadership Wish List for 2009. Most of you haven’t seen it. And, most of my wishes remain unfulfilled, but I’m quite patient. So, I’ve updated it a bit, adding some new thoughts and reposting. What would you add?

1. For leaders to slow down and be intentional about the work they do. Being swept away by “busy-ness” can be responsible for poor decisions. Reflection time, journaling, prayer, meditation ?€“ whatever ?€“ are the stuff behind the building of great leadership.

2. For followers to take an active stand against leaders who use their power to advance themselves to the detriment of the “greater good”. Followers create leaders, and get what they vote for, agree to, and follow. Its time to consider the the role we all play in ineffective and unethical leadership.

3. For leaders to “get” that they must listen, ask, delegate, empower, develop others. How different it would be if all leaders just chose one of these to add to their leadership skills (how cool would it be if we all listened more?).

4. For leaders to understand that when they do the stuff in #3, they don`t have to work so hard, and that they can focus on doing the things that will make them great (developing and communicating a vision, influencing others, etc.). Amazing stuff, that list in #3. Try it, and consider what you will do with your free time.

5. For leaders to get into the regular habit of requesting feedback from others. And then listening without judgment to the feedback, saying “thank you” and deciding whether to take action on it. Even if the feedback received is less than fully honest (not unusual), it shows others that a leader is willing to improve.

6. For the “tipping point” that is needed for all leaders to realize that they must stop micro-managing the tasks and become facilitators of process. In other words, let go of the need and the act of control. Hire and lead the right people, and stop trying to make them do things your way.

7. For organizations to focus their development efforts and dollars on their best leaders. Even in these times, organizations are throwing their training dollars around and allowing anyone to tap into them. Focus those dollars on the few who are already great (but want to get greater) and notice the amazing effect it has on business.

8. For leaders to truly embrace the concepts of “work-life” balance, not just with their talk, but with their actions. Horror stories abound of long-term “required” twelve or fourteen hour days. A leader will get the most out of people if you trust them to “get the work done” and encourage them to assure they are “balanced” between work and other activities. And?€¦.how about modeling balance yourself?

9. For leaders to learn to listen to themselves. To stop and listen to that little voice that lets them know when they are on the right track (or off the track).

10. For the press to concentrate on writing about leaders that are doing the right things. How uplifting and inspiring to hear stories about good leadership! I know they`re out there! I`ve met them, you`ve met them, and they are the quiet ones we don`t hear about that are changing lives.

11. For the word “leader” to be reserved only for those who are working for the greater good. Unethical and immoral leaders who abuse the power they’ve been given don’t deserve the title of “leader”. Those who follow and support evil leaders should remember their responsibilities too – see #2 above.

12. For organizations to start supporting and promoting the leaders who get the “people stuff”: promoting those who have been successful only on the basis of their knowledge and achievement isn’t doing our organizations any good. Leaders must have the “soft skills” as well as be knowledgable and results-oriented.

How about you? What are your “leadership wishes” for 2010?

I have a wise friend who has been a community and business leader for a while. She is currently running a successful nonprofit. Even though I`ve known her for a fraction of her working life, I`m sure that she`s had a career full of success.

There are many reasons for her successes, including hard work, deep dedication, a purpose, vision, and passion for what she does. But there is one other, perhaps the most important ?€“ she has always believed in the potential of her employees. How do I know this?

A simple, profound truth

Because of something she said to me recently with great conviction:

“I`m quite certain that most employees don`t come to work to do a poor job.”

I wrote it down, because it was such a profound, simple truth. It also happens to be a truth that all leaders should embrace.

What this tells me

What this tells me is that she has made a habit of believing the best in those she leads. She has coached the ones who are falling behind and is willing to put in the time and effort to help them step up to someplace greater than the spot they are in.

It tells me that she starts from a place of knowing that, with some effort and dedication, those who follow her will find that they are capable of so much more than they are doing.

It tells me that when these employees make a mistake, she is willing to see it as a learning opportunity. She knows that they will do better the next time.

It tells me that those she is leading they are lucky to have her in their lives. She sees that there is great potential waiting to be unleashed in them.

It tells me that, instead of coming from a place of assuming the worst in others, she assumes the best, and she is ready to watch possibility unfold in that direction.

I`ll bet she`s seldom disappointed.

The previous post walked you through how to ask for and receive feedback. You`ve asked for it, you`ve received it with grace, and now – what do you do with it?

You have two choices.

The first is to reject it. You may not agree with what you heard. Why act on something you disagree with? After all, it`s an opinion. However, tread lightly here. Give this feedback some time to settle ?€“ you may find some truth in it and decide differently later. Check out your tendency to reject the feedback with someone you trust.

The second is to decide to do something about it. What actions will you take? Some ideas:

• Gain clarity around the feedback you`ve received. You can return to the original feedback-giver and ask additional questions. Ask others you trust for their input, too.
• Consider actions you`ll take. For some, talking it with a mentor, advisor or coach helps. Thinking out loud and asking for advice on the actions to be taken can be helpful. For others, journaling and reflecting on what you heard and the actions you can take are preferable.
• Find a way to stay accountable as you take action. Although many are self-motivated, others of us may need the structure of “reporting in” to someone on a regular basis as we work our way through. Writing it down, in the form of an action plan, can help to solidify your intent (sharing the plan is even better!).
• Ask for help from your staff, manager, and peers. Let them know what you are working on, and request that they assist in some way: ask them to let you know when you have strayed from your path or when you are following it.
• Adjust as necessary. Continue asking for feedback, and adjust your action accordingly, until it fits just right for you.

As I look back on what I’ve written above, there seems to be a theme: the power of a support structure of trusted advisors cannot be underestimated! What have you found to be useful in taking action on feedback?

Warning: part of this post may bring up unpleasant thoughts of gore. Ignore them, and enjoy the warm fuzzy feelings you get as you remember some of the best relationships you`ve formed in times of adversity at work.

Do you need to wait to block off time for an “off site” or a “team lunch” to spend time developing relationships with your team? Don`t wait!

When I first stepped out of college with a degree in biology, I was hired by a large pharmaceutical company to do research in a laboratory. This laboratory was screening for anti-atherosclerosis drugs in quail (this bird mimics human atherosclerosis development closely). However, I was brought in to do solo research to screen for anti-obesity drugs in laboratory rats. Much of the time I worked on my own.

Work Can be Lonely

I am an extrovert who gets her energy through interaction with people (not rats). Although I shared an office with the Ph.D. who ran the laboratory, he was an introvert who preferred to stick to himself most of the time. The solo work left me hungry for human contact.

Little did I know that I would enjoy the human contact on Quail Tuesdays as much as I did. Our laboratory and the one next door would gather first thing that morning to collect blood and dissect arteries in quail (yes, birds!) who had been on a high-cholesterol diet and dosed with drugs that might eventually combat atherosclerosis in humans. This was unpleasant work at best for a biologist who is also an animal lover. I may have been just as happy to sit Tuesdays out.

However, the unpleasant activity of dissecting quail provided the chance to sit around a table with the other biologists and have casual conversations. The work was routine, but requiring many hands to get it done, so we were able to talk and learn about each other while we worked.

The science of our work was also a topic, making Quail Tuesdays a team learning activity. I learned to love Quail Day and couldn`t wait to get to work on Tuesdays for the opportunity to learn about my colleagues as well as to learn what they knew about the science of atherosclerosis!

Developing Relationships Helps with the Work

If it weren`t for Quail Tuesdays, I wouldn`t have known the people I was working side by side on a personal level. Those days also provided us with an important connection to the work and what it could eventually mean to thousands if we discovered THE drug (we didn`t, but it was a great dream that we often discussed).

Intuitively, I knew that Quail Tuesdays were important to the overall productivity of our laboratory. Interpersonal connections are similarly important to any organization`s productivity.

In these times when your staff may be working harder and longer, good relationships and connections can make the work easier. Conversations are a part of what makes work life enjoyable and productive. What are you doing to foster great relationships in your workplace? What could you be doing that could be done together as a team, allowing time for the relationships to develop?