Archive for the ‘listen listening unheard workplace community’ Category

As an executive coach, I am continually amazed at the havoc that poor listening ability has created for so many leaders. A recent review of goals and action plans created by my clients over the years reveals that “improving listening skills” is one of the most popular goals that come from the feedback provided by their managers, peers and employees. Poor listening effects almost every aspect of a leader’s ability to connect with people, not to mention the fact that when listening stops – so does learning, as Sarah experienced.

Sarah was on a path to leadership disaster. Looking at her track record, you wouldn’t know it. She was a driven mid-level executive in a large organization. Known by her senior management as someone who got results, the organization wanted to retain her for a larger role. Yet her 360 results in the areas of “team work” and “developing followership” were in the tank; she would need to improve her scores in those areas if she had any hope of future promotion.

I conducted interviews to dig deeper into the causes of her 360 problems.  Her peers and employees indicated that although Sarah was bright and driven, they didn’t feel listened to. Further questioning showed that she was distracted, rushed, and opinionated; she cut people off and displayed a tendency to have “the last word”.

Upon seeing the “poor listening” problem detailed in her interview report, Sarah was ready to make a change. We created an action plan to work on “developing better listening skills”.

It was a hard behavior to change. However, Sarah’s considerable drive to achieve kicked in to help her be successful. Later follow-up interviews showed Sarah was successful in improving her listening ability. Her staff and peers felt like they were being heard. Their interactions became more open with each other and with Sarah.

Through improved listening, Sarah was learning new things that were important to her future success as a leader. Her relationships inside and outside of work were improving.

The deceptively simple act of listening has become, for many of us, our roadblock to higher achievement. Listening well is something that we should be naturals at. After all, as the saying goes, we were born with two ears and one mouth, and started life listening long before we learned to talk.

However, a lifetime of striving to tell everyone we know about how smart we are, or about why our opinion counts have helped us to develop some exceptional non-listening habits. As a leader, it is essential that we exercise discernment of the mouth and allow our ears to hear what others have to say.

The act of listening is probably the most underrated leadership “skill”. I don’t recall seeing “listens well” on a list of leadership competencies, yet I’ve seen the inability to listen create real problems for leaders.

The leaders I know who have improved their ability to listen have enjoyed significant improvement in their capacity to inspire, impact, and influence their organizations and communities. Put “develop better listening skills” at the top of your list of personal development goals. It will make a big difference in your leadership and your life. 

Next, Listening Part II: What gets in the way?

Having regular, real conversations is one of the most important things a leader can do. We underestimate the exquisite power of conversation to assure that our followers are aligned. Instead, we are driven to move faster, to take action NOW. Yet, for a leader, conversation is a form of action. By taking the time to listen and dialog, you make way for employees to take the “right” actions.

Is it possible that an employee may be underperforming because she isn’t communicated with? Perhaps, you haven’t spent the time you need talking to her to assure she’s on the right track? Assuming that “someone at their level should know” is faulty. Organizations are complex, and communication is less than ideal. Interpretation of communication varies by the experience of the individual (their “mental models” or “filters”). They may not “know”.

Your followers are yearning to talk to you. To know that they are:

1. On the right track: doing the right things, making the right decisions.

2. On the wrong track: getting off course, needing to readjust

3. Aligned with the vision: you have talked to them about the vision, right?

4. Being listened to: you are hearing their ideas and using them

5. Trusted: you believe that they are fully capable

6. Understood: you “get” them and are appreciative of their uniqueness

7. Sure that you “have their back” when the going gets rough

I don’t disagree that conversations take time. But they can be worth every minute. Slow down and relish the results that occur from having conversations with your employees.

For some reason, I’ve been reminded over the past few days about those who feel unheard in the workplace of community. These coincidences are interesting and allow me to reflect on my own behavior – i.e., when I may not listen as I should. They also provide some reflection for all leaders with – an opportunity to consider the voices that may not be heard and what that means to leadership.

The invisible ones

It touched me to hear the story of a “woman of color”(her term), who is also a senior executive, speak of feeling invisible during her career. I also have a male minority client, relatively new to a position in the U.S., who speaks of people not listening to him (perhaps he has the double invisible cloak of being a non-native and a new employee). I hear from women and the younger generations all the time about how they aren’t listened to. What insights might be missed when these people become invisible? How might a leader broaden themselves through including the unheard?

This week, I hosted a World Cafe (http://www.theworldcafe.com/ )in my community for our Reading Together program (http://www.readingtogether.us/ ) . The topic of our dialog was “what does it mean to belong to a community”. I think the participants had out- of- the- ordinary conversations around just what belonging is and how it is fostered. Feeling heard is a big part of “belonging”.

What makes listening to all stakeholders important

For a leader, there can be large gaps in the information he needs to be effective if he is not taking the time and effort to truly listen (this means, necessarily, not talking!) to all of the stakeholders that are connected to his enterprise. He needs to consider inviting those who are disengaged, disenfranchised, or otherwise not speaking up to engage in dialog – and then he needs to truly listen with an open mind. Maybe he’ll learn something important.