Partner: Fresh insight and accountability can be found when you engage with a strategic partner to help you to create an action plan around the changes you will make and hold you accountable to them. A word or two of advice: make sure your partner is someone who will be comfortable saying what needs to be said to you.

Note: In a shameless act of self-promotion for my profession, many find that a coach fits the partner roll perfectly. We are trained with the skills of asking great questions and to tell you what we are observing – the good, the bad, and the ugly. We will also hold you accountable to taking action on the changes you want to make. If a coach is not in the cards for you, consider a mentor, teacher, friend or very distant relative (close relatives, life partners and spouses don’t count – they may not say what needs to be said).

Plan: Create a written action plan, beginning with your goal; what is the new story you want to tell yourself? Work with your partner to create some action steps, measurements, and timelines. For those of you who have managed projects, this may look very much like a personal project plan. Meet with your partner on a regular basis to discuss progress and update your plan, which has now become a “living document” for changing your story.

Practice: In building your action plan, you`ve likely discovered some new behaviors you`d like to try on that will further your progress. Writing them down is important. But even more important is to try some of them, see what works for you, and practice, practice, practice. Your partner should be asking how the practice is going, and helping you to make any adjustments to your action steps. As you practice, you are building new habits ?€“ and new neuronal connections in your brain. When those connections are complete, you no longer need to “practice” ?€“ the new habits become automatic.

Patience: Have patience as you make changes to your stories. Be relentless and committed, but be kind to yourself as you begin to create a new story. Understand that others may not see your new story as quickly as you feel they should; feedback from those around you may lag behind your image of how you are changing things. Have faith that the process works.

What new stories are you creating about yourself? Who will you partner with to plan, practice and assure success? What will your leadership look like as you manifest these new stories?