A Good Bye with Humanity
August 10th, 2010 | 
Author: How often as a leader do you have someone in your circle of influence (manager, peer, direct report, maybe even a customer or consultant) that leaves your organization? Fairly often, I’ll bet. And how often do you say “good bye” with humanity? I’m saddened at how often this is missing from a send-off.
When we consider the word, “good bye”, it has the essence of well-wishes in it. Yet, we neglect to wish our colleagues well when they leave. Even if they are going to something better, they may be upset because they are still leaving something behind.
The reason for their exit, in most cases, shouldn’t matter to the simple act of showing humanity and compassion. Isn’t it the humane thing to do to show some compassion with a good bye? As a leader, your job is to see and treat people with humanity, even as they are walking out the door.
Allow them to work as long as it makes sense to do so: So often I hear of someone putting in their advance notice of resignation and the manager immediately shows them to the door. I do understand that this is the way it must be in some cases. But don’t escort someone out just because you are angry. Let them work as long as they can, when possible.
Set aside a few minutes. Have a 1:1 conversation with them before they leave. Ask them if you can help them in their transition. Listen well. This will let the person know that they matter as they are heading out the door.
Thank them. A few words of gratitude, expressed with compassion and sincerity, are in order. This can be brief, but heartfelt. Reflect on your words ahead of time, and I’m sure that you will be able to say the right things.
Be specific. Almost everyone, even if they have disappointed you, have given something of value to you and the organization. Let them know what that is, and let them know you will miss what they brought to your leadership and your organization.
I’ve heard some say, “I accept your resignation with regret”; that’s fine, but how about accepting it with compassion? Don’t leave your humanity at the workplace door and don’t let others walk out without theirs.
Posted in Uncategorized
6 Responses to “A Good Bye with Humanity”
Leave a Reply
View my complete profile
Great points Mary Jo – saying good bye with compassion goes a long way in building a great relationship beyond the scope of work. And yes, it is great for branding, because an employee/peer who walks out with a good feeling spreads the word and talks about his/her exit experience.
I have even seen that sometimes, these people also reconsider joining the same organization again, just because they had positive experiences at workplace when they left.
The whole point is to treat them as “human beings”, not just as “human resources”.
Best,
Tanmay
Thanks Tanmay. The words we use in the workplace make it difficult to be, and treat others as, human. These include “human resources”, “human capital”, and “talent management”. All of these words take energy away from us. We need to use the words that touch the heart, and to stay in touch, even at work, at what it means to express our humanity. I have no doubt that our workplaces will see a bottom line result.
Mary Jo,
Another great post! People leave organizations for many reasons, including personal ones. Why make them an enemy? My favorite former boss called me a week after I started my new job. He asked if he should clean out my desk, or leave it in case I came back. There’s a reason he’s my favorite.
Hi Kevin, I liked the story of your boss. Although you didn’t go back, he sure set the stage for you to do so. The other thing that occurs to me is that when one leaves the company, there is a good chance they could become a customer or client (if they aren’t already). Makes sense to treat an employee well as they walk out the door for that reason, too.
For a number of people who leave at our institution, we have farewell events. (Some call them cake and wake)
But we have cake and punch, and it’s an opportunity to have colleagues come and say good bye, wish them well, talk about what’s next and set the ground for maintaining good relationships. I so love that we do that. It’s affirming for everyone.
Hi Deirdre, So nice that your institution does this, and that it is affirming. Thanks for sharing your experience.