It may seem an odd thing to ask, but are you enjoying your employees, peers, clients, and manager at work? I have a feeling that if you are, your leadership and the work of your organization is effortless. Things are flowing as they should, there is some fun in the work you do, and your stakeholders are also enjoying each other (i.e. there isn’t the whining and complaining about each other that makes a workplace miserable).

Consider some ways that you can enjoy others:

Enjoy yourself first. Don’t take yourself or your work too seriously. Can you forgive your own foibles and laugh at yourself? Some of the most engaging leaders I know are able to perfect the art of being “self effacing” and having a laugh about the peculiar things they do. This helps others to lighten up and enjoy you, too.

Look for the value that others bring to the workplace. My friend Monica Diaz calls this Otheresteem. If you can let the frustrations you have in others go and trade that in for looking for their value, you will learn to enjoy them. You might find that those frustrations aren’t so overwhelming after all.

Stop sweating the small stuff. The minor irritations that build up over a day, a week, a month or more can get in the way of our really enjoying others. This stuff is just stuff. It’s not worth stressing over if it gets in the way of developing the great relationships you need to get work done well.

Stop striving and resisting. What are you pushing uphill against? The effort it takes to strive and resist keeps us from seeing the people right in front of us who can help. Striving and resisting causes stress and makes us focus on ourselves instead of others.

Carve out time to do something (non-work) related that you enjoy. Believe it or not, there is a connection between doing something “fun” outside of work, and your ability to enjoy others. I took classical ballet lessons for several years. I’ve had clients who took guitar lessons, photography classes, flew airplanes and coached soccer. It relieves stress and allows us to be more open to others. When we are more open, we have a much better chance of enjoying our followers.

Take a breather to get to know your followers on a personal basis. Block out time to wander around. Ask some questions about what others enjoy. Then  remember the answers and follow up with them later (they’ll be impressed that you remembered). Let your hair down at a Friday lunch party; if your followers are across the globe, you can do this virtually too (how about foods from different countries for your virtual lunch party?).

Find a hidden superstar. Somewhere in your organization is someone who needs to be discovered. A hidden superstar who has their nose the grindstone and could benefit from your wisdom. Mentoring them is one of the most satisfying (and enjoyable) things you can do.

All of us, at some time in our career, have the privilege of working with a leader who enjoys us. And we in turn, enjoy that leader and the work we do. Can you remember such a time (if so, please share it with your comments on this post)?

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