Archive for September, 2010

Every Thursday, we provide you with a thoughtful way to coach yourself – something all leaders need to do. So take five and enjoy the inspirational quotes and reflect on the questions that follow. Your comments and answers to the questions are most welcome!

In our organizations respect for each other is shown in civility, in good manners, in language, each of which is an expression of the heart and mind. Respect becomes palpable when everyone is taken seriously, and respect in vital organizations becomes manifest in action. Simple good manners are evidence of respect. ~Max Depree

• What are you doing to promote respect in your organization?
• Are you a model of civil behavior for others in your organization?
  • Is everyone taken seriously? What actions do you take to demonstrate this?

We all have the capacity as human beings to hold contradictory motivations that can lead to actions that will advance:  

a)      the greater good of self and others;

b)      harm to self and others; or

c)      a combination of the above.

Having an awareness of the values that motivate you are key to the kind of leadership that will impact you and others in a positive way. Acting in harmony with your personal values won’t necessarily assure “right action”, but being mindful of them as you go about your day can go a long way toward pointing you in the direction of making an impact for the greater good.

Being mindful of your values are will keep you resilient, too, something that is good for you in this ever-changing business environment. I can’t recall ever second guessing a decision made on the values that are important to me; they’ve kept me strong through some tough times.

If it’s been awhile since you’ve reflected on your values, it’s time to reconnect with them.

Learn or Relearn What You Value

There are lots of ways to figure out what your values are. You may just “know”, or you might want to be more methodical.  If being more systematic is for you, can use a list of values, go to an interactive workshop that will help you to get clear about them, take an electronic assessment, or use a “card sort”.

My favorite is a card sort (these often look like playing cards with a value word and explanation listed on each card). These cards tend to slow you down to think through your choices; the time it takes to pick the cards up and sort them gives you time to reflect on your choices. It’s also easy to sort the cards into categories (like low, medium, and high value) and to change your mind or rearrange them.

You can purchase the cards or get some for free here (print them on heavier paper or card stock for ease of use).

Once you have chosen your top values (I suggest three to five top values since this number seems to be easiest to remember on the fly), write them down and keep them close by so that you can refer to them often.

So What Do You Do With Them?

Now that you know your values, you can journal about how you have infused them into your daily actions and decisions.  Refer to them when you have to make an important decision. Ask yourself if the decision you are making reflects those values.

Knowing your values isn’t a perfect way to make decisions and take action because our thoughts can “trick” us into thinking we’re following our value system when we may actually be making the decision for less than pure reasons. However, I believe they are one of the best ways to anchor your soul in the direction of making decisions for the greater good.

Most good leaders appreciate feedback. They want to know how they are doing in the eyes of their stakeholders, and appreciate honest suggestions on what and how they can improve. Many believe that when they request feedback from their staff, peers, and manager that they will hear the unvarnished truth about their performance; seldom does that happen.

I encourage my clients to ask for feedback from others. Sometimes, I’m the one who has to break the bad news that unless certain conditions are right, they will NOT hear the whole truth. Even if the conditions are right, they still may not. This doesn’t mean that they should stop asking for feedback, it means that they just need to be aware that they may not get the full story from others.

This may have nothing to do with the leader who is asking; but it may have a lot to do with the fact that the leader is in a position of power. Or, it may be because the climate of the organization makes it hard for employees to feel comfortable giving their honest opinion. However, there are some things that you can do to provide the best chance of getting quality feedback when you ask for it.

Become calm and consistent in your behavior: Leaders who are volatile and “go off” without warning create fear. If you are this type of person, be aware that the messengers around you are afraid of being shot. Your chances of getting honest feedback are nil unless you change your behavior and become more calm and consistent in your responses.

Set the stage ahead of time with the person(s) you’d like feedback from. Ask them if they will observe you and provide feedback; let them know that this is important to you and you will treat their feedback seriously. If you wish, ask them to pay particular attention to a specific behavior you’d like them to observe.

Be specific about how you phrase the question when you ask for someone’s comments . With the right question, you will get a specific response. Instead of “How am I doing?” try, “What did you observe me doing when I requested the input the team gave on our new budgeting process?” and “Is there anything that I could have done better when I asked for the input?”

Accept responsibility for the feedback you hear. You may not agree, but what you heard is a perception of the person providing it. So even if you don’t agree, seriously consider what you will do to change the perception. Making excuses for your behavior will not foster future honest feedback.

Express gratitude to the person who gave you the feedback, no matter how hard it was to hear. You’ve been given a gift that will help you to be better at what you do.

Listening to feedback is hard, but it is essential to your success. Feedback can be encouraged if you are willing to prepare for it and accept it with grace.

Every Thursday, we provide you with a thoughtful way to coach yourself – something all leaders need to do. So take five and enjoy the inspirational quotes and reflect on the questions that follow. Your comments and answers to the questions are most welcome!

“Being with the way things are calls for an expansion of ourselves. We start from what is, not from what should be; we encompass contradictions, painful feelings, fears, and imaginings, and- without fleeing, blaming, or attempting correction – we learn to soar, like the far-seeing hawk, over the whole landscape. The practice of being with the way things are allows us to alight in a place of openness, where “the truth” readies us for the next step, and the sky opens up.”  From The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander.

• As you consider what you must communicate, can you begin with what is, even when it is unpleasant?
• Do the words you speak express what is or are they focused on what should be?
• Are you grounded in the present as a prelude to future possibility?
• What is the truth about what is, and how will you speak of it?

This is a more personal post than I usually write. My friend Becky Robinson of LeaderTalk  suggested I write about a recent experience; she was insightful to do so since I found that it has great relevancy to the struggle all leaders have with taking risks and questioning their beliefs in order to learn new skills. A recent learning experience of my own was humbling, frightening and difficult. I am just now, a few weeks later, able to begin to make some sense of it.

The experience

Recently I spent three days in an Integral Coaching workshop meant for experienced coaches.  I am an experienced coach who attended with a subconscious (and arrogant) belief that I already knew enough about how to effectively coach my clients. That belief was thoroughly trashed by noon the first day. It was a painful, yet ultimately welcome experience.

The biggest challenge I experienced was that of letting go of my own resistance to accepting that I had something to learn. I was, after all, “experienced”. The resistance was grounded in my own (incorrect) KNOWING that my way was right.

As I was learning new theories and practicing new skills, I struggled. My mind wrestled with what (I thought) I knew to be true and my body tensed (I actually felt the experience as a muscle cramping – my body’s way of resisting, I suppose!). I was discovering that I didn’t know it all.

Several weeks later, I realize that ”knowing it all”  is not an option here. The skills I learned will benefit my clients.  I now must put them into action.

I’m reminding myself to have patience. I suspect that the learning wouldn’t have triggered the reactions I’ve had if there wasn’t something useful for me there. I’m slowly finding ways to use the new skills with clients, and I’m having some success with it in small steps.

The lessons

What are the lessons that I’ve had about the experience that are relevant to you as a leader?

Be open to the new learning. The way to develop and grow is to let go of what you think you know and be open to what is new. It is hard to recognize (and accept) when you are holding on to certainty. When you find yourself struggling with it, let it go.

Be patient and kind with yourself. Change is hard. It doesn’t often come in a moment or even as a three day workshop. Allow what you are learning to simmer. Realize when you are being tough on yourself about taking in new skills. Let the experience of resisting be a part of the learning experience; reflect on it.

Personal change is hard. Sometimes the beliefs that keep us from learning are very sticky – it takes a lot openness and self-kindness to become unstuck and turn some of the new things you are learning into action. Hang in there.

Participating in this workshop was one of the hardest experiences I’ve ever had – and one of the best. Sometimes good things come to us in the struggle.

Every now and then, I have the pleasure of seeing how my education and early career as a bench biologist can have some connection with the work I am now doing. I have been aware of the work of the Institute of HeartMath for many years,  but in reading a book called “The Compassionate Life” by Marc Ian Barasch, I became reacquainted with the work of HeartMath and considered how it applies to our interactions at work.

The Institute of HeartMath is a group of scientists who not only the heart, but it has a mission to maximize the heart’s interaction with the brain. If this sounds too “out there”, keep reading. This institute has been studying something called “Heart Rate Variability” patterns, small beat irregularities in heart rhythm. What they’ve noticed is that certain patterns seem to correlate with specific emotional states, including compassion, love, and forgiveness.

The discoveries

HeartMath research indicates that just imagining our heart glowing with warmth produces a physiologic effect that correlates with feelings of compassion and loving kindness. This may prove that we have more control over our moods than we think. To top it off, the electromagnetic field generated with the  emotional states of compassion, love, and forgiveness (called “coherence”) can affect a person’s brain waves – and simultaneously go on to affect another’s brain waves.  So emotions are proving – scientifically – to be catching after all.

Finally, the heart has its own “brain” of sorts – consisting of some 40,000 neurons and associated cells that resemble the brain’s cortex. Research is showing that the heart can learn and send out dopamine (a pleasure chemical that influences behavior) and oxytocin (a chemical associated with the feeling of love). In addition, there is evidence that some sensory information is sent directly to the heart before it even travels to the brain.

What this means to you

So what does all of this research mean to leadership and organizations? In my mind, it means we need to give the heart its due at work. If we listen to our heart first, are we able to increase our emotional intelligence and improve our interactions and relationships with others? Should we begin to give emotions more credibility at work?

Why not put more of your heart into your work and the relationships that you have with those around you? It isn’t coincidental that brain coherence increases immune function. It looks like compassion, love, and forgiveness is actually proving scientifically to be better for you and better for your followers in more ways than one.

Every Thursday, we provide you with a thoughtful way to coach yourself – something all leaders need to do. So take five and enjoy the inspirational quotes and reflect on the questions that follow. Your comments and answers to the questions are most welcome!

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.” Author unknown

• Following a stimulus, and before you act – what choices are you making?
• Are you choosing your responses thoughtfully and intentionally?
• Are your responses helping you to grow and achieve happiness?
• Are your responses helping others to grow and achieve happiness?

This week’s blogging break led me to reprise some older posts. This is one from March 2009. Take a look at your schedule. Who do you need to meet with?

It’s shocking. I’m amazed at the number of leaders who don’t meet regularly with the very people who help them to get work done. I mean the real, formal, sit down and talk type of meetings that allow the employee, peer, or manager to say whats on their mind. To discuss priorities. To give feedback. To assess the situation.

Sure, you’re busy. Sure, you have lots of deadlines and stuff to do. But wouldn’t all that “stuff to do” be easier if you engaged the people in your network to assist? It seems counter-intuitive to neglect the relationships of the very individuals who can help (or harm) your cause.

I dare you to open up your own calendar and take a look at the last month. Count up how many times you’ve met with:

- your direct reports
- your peers
- people in your other relationship networks (customers,clients, suppliers, and yes, even family and friends)

What are you missing by not being intentional about those relationships?

Get moving, and schedule some of those important and neglected relationships!

I’m taking a blogging break this week, and will be reprising some posts from days gone by. This one is from January, 2009. What do you think? Do we have responsibility for bad leaders?

Peter Block, one of my favorite writers/speakers, writes about how followers create leaders. Our initial reaction to this might be, “How can I, as a follower, possibly have any responsibility for a leader who is irresponsible, immoral or unethical?”. Let’s consider this.

In the public arena, we vote for our leaders (this may provide the most obvious connection to our responsibility for bad leadership):

In this case, we might ignore bad past behavior before we cast our vote. We may be snowed by the public relations machine that “markets” a poor leader. We might simply vote without doing our homework first.

Worse yet, we may not vote for anyone. Complacency has it’s price, up to and including some morally and ethically reprehensible leaders who have been elected to public office.

I think it’s even tougher to consider if we might be responsible for bad leaders in our organizations.

How can followers possibly be responsible for bad leadership in our organizations?

I believe we can claim some personal responsibility for leaders who are “bad”. We tolerate them. We don’t speak up or take action to continue to assure that they don’t continue their bad behavior. Authority and power being what they are, we might fear the retribution that can come from speaking up. We prefer to avoid the risk and continue to do what we’ve always done – remain silent, complaining to others, tolerating.

If that is true, when do we step up to leadership ourselves?

At one point in my career, I worked for a man who was a tyrant, bigot and sexist. I had talked to this man about some of his bad behavior, but to no avail. He was incapable of listening to or accepting my feedback.

I was young and had a lot at stake in my position – I was the major breadwinner in my family and felt the weight of the responsibility to provide for my young children. Yet, the situation became intolerable for myself and my coworkers, and I had concerns that the company could be vulnerable to a lawsuit due to this man.

I confided in a friend at the company and sought her advice. She had a lot of faith and trust in the VP of human resorces (whom she worked for) and suggested I have a conversation with him. The tyrant boss reported directly to this VP. I felt compelled to do something, even if I would suffer personal consequences.

This VP was caring, expressed understanding of the spot I was in, and he listened well. I assumed he talked to others after speaking to me. He ultimately took the tyrant out of a management position at the company (in today’s world, this individual may have been fired).

I didn’t suffer any consequences for speaking up. It took a lot of courage (some may call this stupidity) to report the transgressions of my boss to his boss. And the VP most certainly expressed leadership by realizing that the tyrant could not stay in the position he was in.

I felt responsible, and was called to take action that could have had negative consequences for me.

How have you been responsible? What have you done or not done?

Every Thursday, we provide you with a thoughtful way to coach yourself – something all leaders need to do. So take five and enjoy the inspirational quotes and reflect on the questions that follow. Your comments and answers to the questions are most welcomed!

“It could be argued that all leadership is appreciative leadership. It’s the capacity to see the best in the world around us, in our colleagues, and in the groups we are trying to lead…..It’s the capacity to see with an appreciative eye the true and the good, the better and the possible.” ~David Cooperrider

• What is the best that you see in each of your colleagues?
• What is the best in the groups you are trying to lead?
• What is good in each of those around you, including your enemies?
• What is possible for you, your staff, and your peers?
• How will you lead them based on what you now know about their best and what is good in them?