Archive for January, 2010

You`re leading a monthly meeting. You`ve asked your team members to provide their input on a topic. Unlike your teenager who at least shrugs his shoulders (or says “I don`t know”) when you ask for his opinion, you get silent stares from your team. What could be going on?

Are your team members incompetent? Do they even know enough about the subject to speak up? Don’t they know that their input is important? Actually, you may need to look to yourself and your behavior as the cause.

The behaviors you exhibit may be shutting your team down. Luckily, these behaviors can be fixed over time, increasing the liklihood that you will get the input you seek. Let`s explore the behaviors that may be preventing your team from speaking up:

• You are not listening: Are you doing all the talking? Are you shutting people down or cutting them off?  
• You have ignored your team`s input: Do you have a history of asking for input and then doing whatever you think is right anyway?
• You are asking the wrong kind of questions: Are your questions the kind that don`t foster discussion (yes/no questions for example)? Are the questions you are asking ones that you already know the answers to?
• You supply the answers to the questions: Do you ask the question and then supply your own answers? Are you allowing the silence necessary for your team to consider their answer (yes, silence can be a good thing in this case)?
• You shoot the messenger: Do you respond with your opinion (often negative) to the responses you`ve received? Do you feel the need to judge every answer?
• Are you showing impatience or temper? Does your body language indicate that you are not getting the kind of answers you want? Are you rolling your eyes or sighing when a team member responds to a question? Worse yet, are you showing signs of anger or exhibiting outbursts?

Is it possible that any of these behaviors apply to you? Ask someone you trust to observe you and provide some feedback. If you find that you are exhibiting any of the behaviors above, you need to change your behavior. You`ve lost respect for yourself and for others and are on a downward spiral. It`s recoverable. More about how to recover in the next post.

You`ve made your New Year resolutions. You`ve set some goals and created your personal/professional action plan. What`s missing? I often find that goals and objectives are only about completing tasks. A leader’s relationships need to be attended to as well, and it is rare that these are part of their goals.

People want to follow a leader that they respect and trust. It is satisfying for followers to get “things” done. But they depend on you to communicate and steer them in the right direction. And you can`t do this without exceptional communication and great relationships.

Intuitively, we know that relationships are key to leadership. When our workplace relationships are healthy, our organizations flourish, work becomes “flow” and creativity abounds!

Although research into the effect of workplace relationships on the bottom line is scant, I think we`ll see more of it. My prediction is that as more research is done, we`ll see that strong, healthy relationships are a key element in sustainable leadership and sustainable organizations.

Don`t wait until the research is out. Consider including some workplace relationship goals as part of your 2010 goals. Some ideas to get you started:

• What workplace relationships do you need to consider? Consider your manager, your peers, your employees, your clients and customers. If you are leading a public organization, consider the taxpaying public.
• Which of these relationships need to be nourished? Like our children and our gardens, our relationships at work need tending. Which relationships do you need to pay more attention to? What will you stop doing, delegate, or re-prioritize in order to make the tending of relationships a priority?
• What will strong, healthy workplace relationships look like to you? Spend some valuable time reflecting on what great workplace relationships will look like for you. What will you be doing differently when those relationships are fully nourished? What will your manager, peers, employees and organization be doing differently? What bottom-line benefits will be realized?
• What specific goals do you want to set for specific relationships? Consider individuals, teams, networks you belong to. What would you like to change about how you relate to these? How will you make the personal changes needed? For each ?€“ what is a first step you can take? What is the next step? How will you stay accountable to the changes? What will prevent you from reaching your goals?

What has worked for you in strengthening your workplace relationships?

As a leader you are the role model. Set some goals for your relationships at work that will assure they are healthy and strong, and watch others follow your lead to help create a great place to work.

The first Leadership Development Carnival of 2010 is up at Dan McCarthy’s Great Leadership site. And what a wonderful selection of the finest leadership bloggers and their best 2009 posts it is! Quick. Grab a cup of hot cocoa (with a touch of Peppermint Schnapps, perhaps), put your feet up, and be prepared to be amazed at what you’ll discover.