Archive for December, 2009

This will be my last post in 2009; I have decided to take a break until after January 1, 2010. This post is a bit more personal (and therefore a bit more uncomfortable for me) than most. But I`ve been inspired by Don Henley`s “My Thanksgiving” lyrics for many years, and happened to hear them again today; it seemed appropriate for the end of one year and the beginning of the next. My favorite passages from that song:

Because I’m tired of waiting for reason to arrive
It’s too long we’ve been living
These unexamined lives
I’ve got great expectations
I’ve got family and friends
I’ve got satisfying work
I’ve got a back that bends
For every breath, for every day of living
This is my Thanksgiving

Here in this fragmented world, I still believe
In learning how to give love, and how to receive it
And I would not be among those who abuse this privilege
Sometimes you get the best light from a burning bridge
And I don’t mind saying that I still love it all
I wallowed in the springtime
Now I’m welcoming the fall

For every moment of joy
Every hour of fear
For every winding road that brought me here
For every breath, for every day of living
This is my Thanksgiving
For everyone who helped me start
And for everything that broke my heart
For every breath, for every day of living
This is my Thanksgiving

(Listen to the full set of lyrics with Don Henley in a great video here.)

My gratitude list is built, a little at a time, daily. At the end of each day, I make a brief bulleted list in a personal journal of at least five things or people that I`m grateful for. Even the stuff that most people would be mad, sad, upset or frustrated about get a vote as I consider what I`m learning from them. I highly recommend this “journaling” to everyone; it has been a life-altering experience for me.

If I had to sum up the top ten for this year, here are the things that get my highest votes of deep gratitude in 2009:

1. My family: A few years ago, my husband and I made a strategic decision not to move. We are blessed to have both of our recently married daughters and some wonderful sons-in-law in the area, and to have them over for laughs and good food almost every Sunday evening. My thanksgiving extends to my sisters Judy and Amy.
2. The ability to make a difference: Is it arrogant to say that I believe I make an impact in the work and lives of the people I work with? I am so grateful to be able to touch lives in this way, with the work I do.
3. The joy of writing: 2009 is the year that I discovered that writing can be fun. After years of writing a newsletter, blog and column, I get a lot of satisfaction in writing; particularly now that someone is reading it.
4. The leaders who inspire my writing: All of my life I`ve been a people-observer. And I`ve been blessed to know and observe some really amazing leaders who inspire the things I write about. You know who you are.
5. Social Media: This helped make #3 possible. Before Twitter, which I discovered in June of this year, I had very few readers for the blog. And I love the conversations and new learning I get from those who are willing to comment on the blog.
6. My Health: Yes, including my aching back. It has been a year of challenge and high medical bills for my back. However, I`m grateful that it still bends, and reminding me that I am human and alive. It helps me to find joy in every day; even those that are painful.
7. New and Old Friends: In the seven years since I left the corporate world, the people who surround me are almost all new and all are amazing. You are the positive people in my life who uplift me, give me strength and inspire me.
8. To Be Okay ?€“ Financially speaking. Yes, 2009 was among the most challenging years my husband and I have experienced in our time together; we both own and operate businesses (in Michigan). But we made enough to eat, put clothes on our backs and continued to pay the mortgage (We are sad for those who weren`t as blessed, and do what we can to help out).
9. My personal history: Really, my upbringing was pretty weird, often perilous, and emotionally painful. Everyone comes from a dysfunctional family in some way, but mine should be a case study (if I ever get brave enough, I`ll write a memoir). The road I`ve travelled has been unexpected and wonderful. Its brought me to the place I am now, and I`m pretty happy here.
10. Beautiful Michigan and wonderful Kalamazoo: Springtime, fall, winter (that includes snow), and summer! This is an amazing place to live in – four beautiful seasons, and a city that cares enough to support all of it’s young people with full scholarships to college after high school.

Look back on the year. What is your thanksgiving? See you in the new year!

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My husband Ken and the best leaders have a lot in common. At first glance, one wouldn`t think so. He is a nurseryman, and close to the earth. A somewhat unusual leader, perhaps. He has owned and operated Oikos Tree Crops, a specialty plant nursery for almost thirty years. It took several years from the purchase of the property his nursery was to be built on, to the selling of his first trees. My husband is a patient man and one that organizational and business leaders can learn from.

In the time between purchasing (or cultivating stock for) seeds, Ken must nourish the soil, nurture the best plants and market what he has to sell. Many trees take several years, and some never make it to market for a variety of reasons (despite his best efforts); inability to grow, undesirable traits, and outside influences such as the weather, to name a few. Ken loves the “hands on” work of developing nursery stock to sell. It requires great patience to wait for stock that is suitable and ready to be sold – several years, in fact. And yet, he knows that he cannot control everything or always force the plants he cultivates to have the traits he wants them to have; so he nurtures the best qualities in his plants, even if they are unexpected.

Likewise, great leaders understand that nurturing talent takes time and patience:

Nourish raw talent: Start with an employee who has a willingness to learn. An attitude of eagerness to learning new skills, and a willingness to try new things are an indication that you have a winner. Look for unexpected strengths. Nourish strengths by rewarding and celebrating their successes. One of the least used methods to encourage others is to simply let them know you appreciate them, what they`ve done for your organization, and to thank them. It doesn`t cost a penny, yet others are longing for encouragement. Take a moment to recognize that talented employee for being on the right track.

Nurture the best: Spend your time nurturing the best. Once you`ve determined that a special employee has a willingness to learn, coach them. Coaching is, in a way, a nurturing activity. Help them to understand where their strengths will benefit the organization and where their weaknesses must be moderated. Provide them with opportunities to shine and develop by using their strengths.

Market talent: Part of your responsibility is to “market” this talented employee. Give them credit for their success, publicly. Let others know how lucky you are to have such talent in your organization. Allowing your talented employee to take short term or a long term “stretch” assignment elsewhere in the organization is good for them and good for you. Although it may ultimately mean that this employee has grown beyond the boundaries of their current position and needs to flourish elsewhere, it may be the right thing to encourage them to go.

All of these development activities take time and patience. The effort and care you take in developing your talented employees will pay off in the long run.

Faith, hope and charity are words that we generally don’t hear in organizations or in the context of leadership. Yet they are words that describe some essential qualities in the best leaders. When the concepts are embraced and modeled by a leader, they can catalyze performance in the workplace and community. So let’s all have the courage to speak these words during this beautiful season and more importantly, model their concepts:

• Faith: Trust that your followers are fully whole and capable of doing the right things. Stretch them and let them know (yes, say it out loud!) that you completely believe that the potential you see in them will shine through to help them and the organization realize success. Promise to coach them should they run into trouble, but this is a light approach. It doesn’t mean giving them all the answers, but it does mean asking them the right questions to help them discover success in the way that works best for them. Faith means letting go of controlling how they complete their work and allowing them to develop in the process.
• Hope: People are hungry for hope in these tough times. Inspire others with your vision; give them something to aspire to. Articulate, craft and be perfectly clear about what the future looks like for your organization. Find trusted advisors to help you to gain clarity of vision and communicate it in many venues and in as many ways as possible. When followers grasp the vision, they will have hope. When they have hope, they are better able to follow the path to the vision.
• Charity: Give generously of your time. Find ways to make listening to others a priority. Include them in your decisions. Honor them for the work they do on behalf of your organization. Ask them how you might better serve them. After all, what is leadership without followers? Being charitable with your time and encouragement gives back to those who support the work of your organization or community.

Leaders, extend a hand beyond your organization to further the virtues above. Feed the hungry, visit someone in need, or just listen to those who are lonely and in need of telling their story. These activities help you to stay grounded and humble. Be grateful for the gifts in your life and work, and may peace be with you in this season and throughout the New Year.

Last year, when I had 3 or 4 readers for this blog , I published a Leadership Wish List for 2009. Most of you haven’t seen it. And, most of my wishes remain unfulfilled, but I’m quite patient. So, I’ve updated it a bit, adding some new thoughts and reposting. What would you add?

1. For leaders to slow down and be intentional about the work they do. Being swept away by “busy-ness” can be responsible for poor decisions. Reflection time, journaling, prayer, meditation ?€“ whatever ?€“ are the stuff behind the building of great leadership.

2. For followers to take an active stand against leaders who use their power to advance themselves to the detriment of the “greater good”. Followers create leaders, and get what they vote for, agree to, and follow. Its time to consider the the role we all play in ineffective and unethical leadership.

3. For leaders to “get” that they must listen, ask, delegate, empower, develop others. How different it would be if all leaders just chose one of these to add to their leadership skills (how cool would it be if we all listened more?).

4. For leaders to understand that when they do the stuff in #3, they don`t have to work so hard, and that they can focus on doing the things that will make them great (developing and communicating a vision, influencing others, etc.). Amazing stuff, that list in #3. Try it, and consider what you will do with your free time.

5. For leaders to get into the regular habit of requesting feedback from others. And then listening without judgment to the feedback, saying “thank you” and deciding whether to take action on it. Even if the feedback received is less than fully honest (not unusual), it shows others that a leader is willing to improve.

6. For the “tipping point” that is needed for all leaders to realize that they must stop micro-managing the tasks and become facilitators of process. In other words, let go of the need and the act of control. Hire and lead the right people, and stop trying to make them do things your way.

7. For organizations to focus their development efforts and dollars on their best leaders. Even in these times, organizations are throwing their training dollars around and allowing anyone to tap into them. Focus those dollars on the few who are already great (but want to get greater) and notice the amazing effect it has on business.

8. For leaders to truly embrace the concepts of “work-life” balance, not just with their talk, but with their actions. Horror stories abound of long-term “required” twelve or fourteen hour days. A leader will get the most out of people if you trust them to “get the work done” and encourage them to assure they are “balanced” between work and other activities. And?€¦.how about modeling balance yourself?

9. For leaders to learn to listen to themselves. To stop and listen to that little voice that lets them know when they are on the right track (or off the track).

10. For the press to concentrate on writing about leaders that are doing the right things. How uplifting and inspiring to hear stories about good leadership! I know they`re out there! I`ve met them, you`ve met them, and they are the quiet ones we don`t hear about that are changing lives.

11. For the word “leader” to be reserved only for those who are working for the greater good. Unethical and immoral leaders who abuse the power they’ve been given don’t deserve the title of “leader”. Those who follow and support evil leaders should remember their responsibilities too – see #2 above.

12. For organizations to start supporting and promoting the leaders who get the “people stuff”: promoting those who have been successful only on the basis of their knowledge and achievement isn’t doing our organizations any good. Leaders must have the “soft skills” as well as be knowledgable and results-oriented.

How about you? What are your “leadership wishes” for 2010?

Lisa Rosendahl of Simply Lisa fame commented on the previous post, Coaching vs. Feedback, asking for the distinguishing characteristics between coaching and mentoring. I had this post in mind already when she asked, and also wanted to add consulting into the distinction mix. My thanks to my dear friend Mary Sue Reining of the Reining Leadership Group who helped to clarify these distinctions in a booklet we co-authored for our clients called “Working With Your Executive Coach”.

My intent is for the leaders reading these posts to be able to make the appropriate distinctions, and to spend their organization`s dollars wisely when a choice must be made. Also a bit selfishly, executive coaching remains a bit of an unknown entity in some circles, and by making these distinctions, I am able to defend and promote my profession (“calling”) and passion for coaching ?€“ not necessarily for myself but for all of the good people out there who think they might be interested in working with a coach.

Coaching is often considered a form of consulting, although there are differences in delivery and client experience. Coaching can also be closely aligned with mentoring. The differences and similarities (as I see them; this, as all of my posts, are meant to stimulate discourse, including disagreement!) between coaching, consulting, and mentoring are highlighted as follows:

Executive Coaching:

• The focus is primarily on an individual within the context of the organization in which they work.
• The goal is behavioral change and professional/personal development.
• The foundation for dialog is inquiry for self awareness, action, and accountability.

Consulting:

• The focus is primarily on an organization, but may take individuals within the organization into account.
• The goal is organizational change and/or development.
• The foundation for dialog is to leverage expertise, to give advice and recommendations.

Mentoring:

• Focus is primarily on an individual within the context of the organization.
• Goal is learning and support for the individual
• Foundation for the relationship is to give advice, provide support, and make introductions.

You may be thoroughly confused by now. These don`t fit neatly into completely distinct entities. They overlap and weave. Hmm?€¦..what term would you use to describe doing all three at the same time?

So often “coaching” is used as a buzz term for almost any kind of interaction in the workplace (and everywhere else. Who would have thought there would be such a thing as a “knitting coach”?).

The term has been confused, misused, misunderstood and blasphemed. This is unfortunate, because coaching is a powerful skill for leaders to have in their tool kit.

Yet, coaching is hot everywhere, and especially in the workplace. Executive coaches are a popular choice for developing high potential employees and working with senior leaders. More to the point, many organizations consider the skill of coaching as an essential core competency for their managers. These organizations understand that coaching can foster development and learning culture.

Coaching is hard to define, because it’s a skill that borrows from teaching, psychology, consulting and other professions. But I find that in the workplace, “coaching” is most often confused with “feedback”, and “advice”. To help make the distinction, here are some differences between coaching and feedback:

Coaching is:

• Focused on future behavior
• Developmental
• Inquiry oriented
• Used to help the better performers move ahead by releasing potential in a way that works best for the individual AND the organization

Feedback is:

• Focused on past behavior
• Evaluative
• “Telling” or “Advice” oriented
• Often used to help poor performers change behavior in a prescribed direction in a way that works best for the organization

In the end, coaching is about “letting go” of advice-giving and assuming the person being coached is whole, smart, and understands the best direction to head in. When we give feedback, we believe that the person we are giving feedback to requires our advice to figure out the actions they need to take.

There is a time and place for feedback, as there is for coaching. But they are not the same.

I have a wise friend who has been a community and business leader for a while. She is currently running a successful nonprofit. Even though I`ve known her for a fraction of her working life, I`m sure that she`s had a career full of success.

There are many reasons for her successes, including hard work, deep dedication, a purpose, vision, and passion for what she does. But there is one other, perhaps the most important ?€“ she has always believed in the potential of her employees. How do I know this?

A simple, profound truth

Because of something she said to me recently with great conviction:

“I`m quite certain that most employees don`t come to work to do a poor job.”

I wrote it down, because it was such a profound, simple truth. It also happens to be a truth that all leaders should embrace.

What this tells me

What this tells me is that she has made a habit of believing the best in those she leads. She has coached the ones who are falling behind and is willing to put in the time and effort to help them step up to someplace greater than the spot they are in.

It tells me that she starts from a place of knowing that, with some effort and dedication, those who follow her will find that they are capable of so much more than they are doing.

It tells me that when these employees make a mistake, she is willing to see it as a learning opportunity. She knows that they will do better the next time.

It tells me that those she is leading they are lucky to have her in their lives. She sees that there is great potential waiting to be unleashed in them.

It tells me that, instead of coming from a place of assuming the worst in others, she assumes the best, and she is ready to watch possibility unfold in that direction.

I`ll bet she`s seldom disappointed.

The December Leadership Development Carnival is up and running, and a flurry of good posts from all of your favorite leadership bloggers are piling up. Check it out, hosted over at Inflexion Advisors: http://www.inflexionadvisors.com/blog/2009/12/07/the-december-leadership-development-carnival/

The previous post walked you through how to ask for and receive feedback. You`ve asked for it, you`ve received it with grace, and now – what do you do with it?

You have two choices.

The first is to reject it. You may not agree with what you heard. Why act on something you disagree with? After all, it`s an opinion. However, tread lightly here. Give this feedback some time to settle ?€“ you may find some truth in it and decide differently later. Check out your tendency to reject the feedback with someone you trust.

The second is to decide to do something about it. What actions will you take? Some ideas:

• Gain clarity around the feedback you`ve received. You can return to the original feedback-giver and ask additional questions. Ask others you trust for their input, too.
• Consider actions you`ll take. For some, talking it with a mentor, advisor or coach helps. Thinking out loud and asking for advice on the actions to be taken can be helpful. For others, journaling and reflecting on what you heard and the actions you can take are preferable.
• Find a way to stay accountable as you take action. Although many are self-motivated, others of us may need the structure of “reporting in” to someone on a regular basis as we work our way through. Writing it down, in the form of an action plan, can help to solidify your intent (sharing the plan is even better!).
• Ask for help from your staff, manager, and peers. Let them know what you are working on, and request that they assist in some way: ask them to let you know when you have strayed from your path or when you are following it.
• Adjust as necessary. Continue asking for feedback, and adjust your action accordingly, until it fits just right for you.

As I look back on what I’ve written above, there seems to be a theme: the power of a support structure of trusted advisors cannot be underestimated! What have you found to be useful in taking action on feedback?

The gap between how a leader THINKS they are perceived and the REALITY of how others see them can be big. This gap may be cause for concern, and may require some action on the leader`s part to change the less-than-positive perceptions of others. Alternatively, a leader may underestimate themselves, and getting good feedback is a way to develop self confidence that they are on the right track.

So how do you know if there is a gap, and how do you ask others to name it? Just ask. The best leaders aren`t afraid to do so. They know that asking for feedback indicates self confidence and is not a sign of weakness. They model their own personal and professional development in this way.

How to ask to get feedback you can use

Who will you ask? Ask trusted people around you who observe you in action. These may be employees, customers, peers, or your manager. Ask people you know who will give honest feedback. If you`re serious about this, you won`t ask those who will tell you what they think you want to hear.

When will you ask? If specific feedback around a specific event or behavior is needed, ask as close to the occurrence as possible. For instance, if you want feedback on how you lead a meeting, ask immediately following if possible.

What will you ask? Ask targeted questions about the specific behaviors that you want feedback on. Asking, “How did I do in that meeting?” generally isn`t enough to elicit good, actionable feedback (besides, this is question that can be answered with one word, like “good”). A “general” question will often get “general” answers.

How will you ask? Open ended questions with some specificity work well. “What did you observe about the clarity of my ideas on our organizational objectives in that strategic planning meeting?” or, “What could I have done differently in explaining our stance on XXX?” are great questions that should elicit specific feedback. If not, keep asking questions so that you understand what the specific behaviors that you can actually change.

Be grateful for the gift you`ve been given

Listen thoroughly to the feedback. Really listen, even if it`s hard (and receiving honest feedback can be hard sometimes).No making excuses for your behavior or blaming someone else or circumstances beyond your control (that would be VERY rude, since you asked for the feedback).

Once you get a complete response from the individual providing the feedback, thank them. That`s it. The person who provided you with the feedback just gave you a gift, and we always say thank you when someone gives us something valuable.

So now that you have the feedback, what do you do with it? Stay tuned for more.