Archive for October, 2009

A while back, I had written a post on whether kindness should be a leadership competency. Whether you believe kindness should be a required trait of leaders or not, it is an aspect of being human that most people appreciate.



Children`s wisdom in knowing the art of being human came back into my view with a post by Tarah, a very smart and kind third grader who wrote about “How I Respect Myself and Others” (thanks to her mom, Lisa Rosendahl, also a wonderful blogger, for making us aware of the post). Tarah`s post reminded me that I was looking at my own daughter`s wise essay on kindness every day, well worth sharing with you.

In our laundry room is a framed essay written almost twenty years ago by my daughter, Briana. The paper that this essay is written on is familiar lined three-whole punch paper, and her words are written in pencil. The paper has yellowed. The words and the red smiley face stamped on the page by her teacher in the upper left corner are fading. Yet her brief essay remains a timeless reminder of her wisdom and a message for leaders in these tough times. Her words are captured exactly as she wrote them, spelling errors and all:

You should always be kind to others. If you don`t know how, here are some good tips.



If you don`t like the person, you should always be kind to them anyway. If a person came up to you and said “I hate you”, you would not like it. If someone did that to you, you would know how it felt.

I think pushing, hurting, name calling, and hurting peoples feelings should be eligal. It should be a law.



You should never call people nams, you aren`t hurting them on the outside, but you are hurting them on the inside.

Aside from her message of the importance of kindness, Briana has reminded us of the importance of empathy and the hurt our words can do to the inside of others. Put yourself in the shoes of others in your organization. What kindness might you extend to them today?

Be sure to skip over to LeaderTalk, the Mountain State University site, for this month’s great leadership reading in the October edition of the Leadership Development Carnival. The usual list of suspects are writing about leadership including myself. But there are lots of new bloggers too.

Thanks to Becky Robinson for hosting this month’s Carnival!

Last week I had the pleasure of attending the sixth annual conference of the Professional Coaches Association of Michigan. For the first time since the start of this organization, I went as a non-board member. It was my time to relax, balance, observe, learn and (most importantly) enjoy the support of my “tribe”.

There is renewal in connecting and reconnecting with like-minded people. Coaches are dedicated to helping others. But for these two days each year, we get to help ourselves to the balance and support of a community that cares deeply about our profession and each other. I am proud of the community that this organization has evolved into. The roots of community in this organization go deep into its beginning.

A little history lesson…

Six years ago, a small group of coaches from across the state connected with each other to talk about having a state-wide conference for coaches. We were a small community of like minded people who wanted to support each other, connect, and learn. We had no idea what we were doing, but knew that with the connections we`d made to each other and the dedication to our profession, it would work.

We each agreed to contribute a little over a hundred dollars to provide funds to start the first conference. I have fond memories for those early meetings where the group mission was shared, and support for each person as an individual was a given. The first conference was a success. Afterwards, we attended an “Advance” (not a retreat) at David Chinsky`s beautiful home on Lake Huron, and sketched out the beginnings of an organization whose values are Leadership, Service, Community, Collaboration and Abundance. All of these were evident last week.

It continues to work for us

Last week`s conference showcased the growth and professionalism of coaching in our state. I am grateful that the current board and conference planners have kept the original spirit and values of this community alive. The professional polish was there, but more importantly, the feeling of connection and community has not been lost. We help each other. We give more than we need to each other, but it works for us.

Coaching can be lonely business. Many of us do our work alone. The support we receive from a community of like-minded individuals is essential to our staying balanced and feeling supported.

Leaders: where do you go to assure your balance and support?