Archive for June, 2008

I picked up this great little book recently. It was edited by Smith Magazine, an online storytelling site (very interesting by the way – check it out). “Not Quite What I Was Planning” is a collection of six word memoirs that people put on the site. Fascinating. Poignant. Quick read (pick it up for a brief period, anytime). Great implications for leadership – haven’t I been telling you that you need to “focus on what matters?”. Six words to capture what matters in your life requires incredible focus. Some who have read it have become obsessed with the idea of writing their own six words. Even to the point of waking up in the middle of the night to write their own memoir (on the notepad next to their bed) ………ok, so I’m a light sleeper!

“Dysfunctional past, wonderful middle, incredible now” MJA

When talking to others (including some clients), these are some of their perceptions about leadership:

1. Leadership is about telling others what to do
2. Leadership is about telling others how do do it
3. Leaders are born, not made
4. Leaders are those who are promoted to the right position in an organization or community
5. Leaders are always extroverts
6. Leaders get the work done at all costs to themselves and others
7. Leaders have all of the answers
8. Leaders are always confident
9. Those who are technically most competent should be leaders
10. Leaders can and should always have their transgressions forgiven

This is what I’ve learned about leadership and those perceptions:

1. Leadership is about telling others what to do when it is appropriate to do so. Mostly, great leadership is facilitating and developing others to a point that they can figure out what needs to be done on their own.
2. Amazing leaders trust that their followers know the “how” to get things done. If the followers consistently don’t know the “how”, other tactics should be considered: training, coaching, discipline, etc.
3. Leaders may have an intrinsic desire to lead, but not everyone is a good leader without some learning – through mistakes, experience, development or a mentor. It takes a great human to learn from mistakes. Great humans can make great leaders.
4. Leaders can be found anywhere in an organization or community. If you look around you, you may find them volunteering their time to a nonprofit, mentoring someone or even quietly expressing great ideas and influencing others at work or in a community.
5. Although many of the most visible leaders are likely extroverts (ala Jack Welch!), some of the best leaders are not. Introverts must function in an extroverted environment and are often visible and appearing to be extroverted. I find some of the most amazing leaders are introverts with a quiet and introspective aspect to their work.
6. The most wonderful leaders are dedicated servants – but they also understand the importance of personal balance to effective leadership. They also understand the importance of wholesome relationships, and are often undertanding and empathetic towards others.
7. Sometimes we’d like to believe that leaders know all of the answers; it makes us feel safe. The best leaders, however, are willing to forge ahead even in uncertainty. And they are willing to admit that they count on the people around them to help them find the answers.
8. Just like everyone else, leaders lose confidence. Most don’t let it show, but if you peak behind the curtain, you may find uncertainty. I believe uncertainty to be a powerful leadership tool that may open a leader up to being curious and seeking new ways to do things.
9. Sometimes, technical knowledge is very important to leadership. But the best leaders are also those who are great at communication and relationships – because having technical knowledge doesn’t assure that the work will get done. Great relationships can.
10. Should we always forgive transgressions in our leaders? They are human, and make mistakes. However, some leaders abuse their power to feed their hungers. We should always forgive another human – but when abuse of power goes beyond the boundaries of morality in a great way, we need to question whether this leader deserves our followership.

After months of being distracted by my life at work, I was able to complete Thomas Moore’s current book, “A Life at Work”. Mr. Moore is the author of “Care of the Soul”, a favorite of mine. This current book appealed to me as I’ve had many executive clients who are looking for meaning in their current work or are restless in their current positions.

Note: this is not a book about getting a job. This is a book aptly subtitled “The joy of discovering what you were born to do”.

Moore writes very simply, but with great depth and obvious (personal?) passion about the topic. His philosophies about finding a person’s life work are aligned with my own, although he has managed to make me think a little more broadly about what it means to have work with meaning. He uses myth, archetypes, psychology, philosophy in his writing.

I highly recommend the book for anyone who is seeking, has sought, or has found the work they love. Truly inspirational.

An interview with Mr. Moore about this latest book can be found here.

Leaders can complain forever about all of that negative “stuff” that is out there in her organization or community – “stuff” that she believes as beyond her control or as belonging to someone else.

Until she sees her “role” in the dilemma, the problems continue or get worse. An intentional leader will ask “What role might I play in the issue?” and “What action can I take to improve the situation?”. These questions help the leader to focus on what they can control – themselves – and take meaningful action to resolve the issue.

So, stop complaining and start asking “What is my role in this?”, and then take some action!

Copyright 2008 Business Review West Michigan by
Mary Jo Asmus

Many of my clients are terrible listeners. However, very few of them know or believe this when we begin working together.

Generally, the poor listening skills I see in one-on-one meetings with my executive clients is played out in the workplace, and it can have significant consequences. Poor listening can be a career killer for a leader.

A few days ago, I took a call from a mid-level leader in a large company who was interviewing me to be her executive coach. In a half-hour interview, she talked for 25 minutes and I talked for about five. I typically do a lot of listening in my work, so I don’t usually mind not talking.

However, in this case she was supposed to be interviewing me. Also, she would ask a question and then cut me off by talking over me.

Based on that one experience, I can predict that others will also have observed that she doesn’t listen well. Her employees and manager are frustrated about it and may even have told her about it, but she didn’t listen.

If so, this is probably creating all kinds of problems for her. She isn’t hearing important information she needs to make the best decisions, develop the best relationships and lead others in a way that makes them feel engaged and motivated.

Like many leaders, she may feel she needs to have all the answers and is quick to let everyone know about the vast amount of knowledge she has.

She has the opportunity to be an incredible leader if she can change this one bad habit.

If she chooses to work with me, and if I’m right about her poor listening skills in the workplace, I may prescribe regular “shut up and listen” meetings for her — meetings where she will consciously and deliberately practice listening skills.

If you suspect that you are a poor listener

?€¢ Request feedback from others and/or hire an executive coach who can collect feedback for you. If you are highly self-aware, you may be able to observe your own listening skills.

?€¢ If you discover that you are a poor listener, take action now to correct it. It may derail you later if you don’t.

?€¢ Be intentional about shut-up-and-listen meetings where you do just that. These could be one-on-one meetings or larger meetings which you lead or participate in.

?€¢ Jot down a few open-ended questions before or during upcoming meetings. Those questions will help you focus, listen without distraction and will keep the dialogue moving.

?€¢ Ask questions, but then shut up and listen.

If you are purposeful about listening for a few months, it will become a new, ingrained behavior. And the results with your boss, your team and others around you will be nothing short of amazing.

Incoming Bentley College president Gloria Cordes Larson says she wants her graduates to “be ethically grounded leaders who combine left brain analysis and business process skills with right brain qualities of creativity, empathy, and an appreciation for other perspectives.” (Source: Boston Globe, 3/29/08)